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To Love and To Be Loved
To Love and To Be Loved 1280 800 Nadir Keval

For most of my life, I lived with the mindset that in order for me to truly fall in love, I would have to be someone that others would want to love. I would have to build myself around the needs of another someone, and adjust my identity to accommodate hers. This was something that resonated in both the pursuit of marriage and the other relationships I held, including family and friends. If I were unhappy, I felt that it was because I wasn’t good enough. If the relationship was sour or went sour, it was because of my failures and no one else’s. Despite my efforts to be the best I could be in every way, and hearing praise and compliments from strangers that had only known me for a mere moment, I would constantly feel this sense of being insufficient in being worthy of anyone’s love. Sure, people have told me they loved me, or have said that they’d go to the ends of the Earth for me, but none have added action to their words. They claim love, but hesitate to hug me or to go out of their way for me for even the smallest of things. They claim to go to the ends of the Earth for me, but hide behind, “I’m really busy right now,” when I show any signs of human struggle and need. Even after all these years, and having learned that this isn’t the way to live and love, my heart has been engraved with the pen of guilt, saying, “You’re still not good enough. It’s still your fault. YOU are the one that failed THEM.” It will take time, effort, and most importantly faith to fill those engravings and make my heart whole again.

This has been a mindset that held me prisoner for most of my life. I didn’t think I was worthy of happiness because I was flawed. I felt that my not accomplishing things as was socially expected of me was a reflection of me being stupid and destined for nothing but the worst of lives. I felt like I was dead before I had even had a chance to live.

In the last few years, however, I have been at battle. I have been the David fighting the Goliath within me. I have been the social outcast with a drive to become an inspiration to those feeling low. I have been the man who makes a living from being happy, not just to be happy. And all of this has been open to ridicule and discouragement by those I once considered my loved ones, but who are now simply ones I love for the sake of Him and my heart.

In the process of these battles, I have and will place my greatest and most important loves first: God, the Prophet (SAW), and myself. Please and Love God, and others who matter will be pleased with you. Love the Prophet (SAW), and you will please God, will change and inspire lives, and will live a life of spiritual peace. Love myself, and I will be loving the Prophet (SAW), and will be pleasing God, and thus, will be happy because my heart will be pursuing serenity and peace through living for the sake of happiness in this life and the Next. This is the only way I now understand to be the path towards happiness, success, and freedom. When we allow the judgments, opinions, and statements of others to influence us, we become their puppets. And if they’re words or actions are hurtful or destructive, they will eat away at us until we are no more, unless we make a change and live for God and our own selves.

Fortunately, I have less than a handful of people I get love back from, but I still hold my reservations on their love. They know who they are because I make sure to let them know of it often, through direct words and actions, Alhamdulillah.

I no longer expect love from others, because I don’t want to live with disappoint. So now, I just work hard at loving. There’s a high chance I won’t get loved back. There’s a high chance I will push people away by the sincerity of my love, considering how rare it is for people to be sincere today. There’s a high chance I will never find someone who could love me back the same way I love them, because they fear they won’t be able to live up to it – though if they knew my story and my purpose, they would understand that I simply ask that they try their best (for THEIR OWN sake, and not just mine). But all of that will be worth it, because I will be doing what I love: loving people.

And who knows, maybe one day, if not in this life then for sure in the Next, Allah will bless me with a return on that love. Until then, and even afterwards, I won’t depend on the love of the creation – instead, I will live off of His Love.

I Once Knew Her
I Once Knew Her 1600 1200 Nadir Keval

There’s this girl I once knew.

I heard she’s getting married soon, and it reminded me of a dark time…a time when I had met an occurrence that I couldn’t understand, despite my efforts. I cared about her, and stood by her for a long time as she figured herself out, even during times when she would push me, hurt me, and make me struggle within my own self because of her own struggles (and those times came often). I used to know her inside and out, and would be her support in fulfilling her every dream.

Then, one day, something happened, that until today I don’t understand. This girl, holding the potential of greatness in so many ways, threw away all of her dreams. She told me that she was confused and didn’t know what she wanted from life. She wanted time to understand herself better before taking any new steps in life. She was full of potential, but I felt she was restrained by her desire to please those around her over pleasing God and herself. I may be wrong, but it’s what I felt, based on my knowing her.

She put aside projects she had begun working on, changed future plans, threw away many of the dreams she spoke so passionately with me about, and became this whole new person that I just didn’t understand. She then told me that she was engaged to marry a man that she had only begun speaking to a few weeks before announcing that decision. I asked her about how it would change her life, and she said that she would be moving from place to place around the world because of the nature of his work, and will be spending a long period of time living in places known as active warzones. Nothing made sense to me, and so I gave her space, prayed for her, and let her make the decisions she felt was best.

Usually, at the end of an article, I come to a point of speaking on the lessons learned from an inspiring story, or something like that. This time, I’m left speechless because of my sincere confusion. All I can say is that I hope she is getting married and making these decisions because she’s looking out for herself and is trying to live out her dreams. I have seen a few people get married solely to avoid facing their own realities and the struggles that may come from facing their fears. I sincerely hope she isn’t doing that. Even if her fiancé is a good man, and from what she told me, I’m sure he is…I still hope that she is taking her steps carefully and is acting with wisdom and heart, and not because of others or her own fears. Some may consider it pathetic to still care about someone’s well-being, especially when they hurt me more times than they healed, but I believe it be to a reflection of my sincerity and genuine heart. That is something I am proud of, and I don’t believe it to be arrogant of me to be proud of something like that.

At the end of the day, I wish her the best, and pray that she stays happy, safe, loved by the One Above, and lives out to her greatest potential. May Allah give her clarity and guidance, and bring back the ambitious and confident woman I once knew – bring back the woman that was taken away from thriving, and brought to a life of simply surviving.

There was this woman I once knew.

Marry Your Best Friend
Marry Your Best Friend 1280 939 Nadir Keval

I may be completely off here, considering I’m not married so I’m saying this off of theory, but I believe that you should marry someone that could become your best friend.

A best friend is someone who loves you for all that you are.

Someone who, when times get rough for you, they support you, even if what you’re going through seems trivial to him/her.

Someone who inspires you to become a better Muslim and person, but recognizes that you’re still human and will have your good and bad days.

A best friend doesn’t make you feel inferior, but rather, helps you banish that inferiority complex through the path that works best for YOU.

A best friend as a lover would be incredible, because you could spend hours being intimate, laughing, crying, and sharing moments, without even coming to the point of anything sexual.

But then, with a best friend, sexuality would be incredible too, because well, you’d be companions and not just partners – individuals combined so perfectly to complete as one.

A best friend would cherish you, because they love you as a friend, as a lover, and also with the best form of love – love for the sake of Allah.

I hope to one day find that best friend, insha Allah, and the search continues, but once I do, I know that I’ll spend a lifetime trying to earn my keep – loving her, cherishing her, and giving her the support and care in every form and fashion that I could have wished for when I didn’t have her.

And I know that even if, God forbid, it doesn’t last forever, I would be happy with God’s Plan, because for what I needed, He knew there wouldn’t be anybody better.

Sanabel’s Promise – She Left Us Her Inspiration
Sanabel’s Promise – She Left Us Her Inspiration 900 664 Nadir Keval

Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raajioon. From Allah we have come, and to Him we shall return.

I didn’t know her too well, and I’m sure she didn’t know me, but I had been following her story and her journey for the last little while. She was a friend’s sister, but an inspiration to many around her, and anyone else that heard of her struggle, including myself.

Hearing about Sanabel Abubaker’s return to Allah this morning struck my heart more than any story like this had before. She was merely 25 years old, the same age as I, but she had experienced so much more than I could imagine. Born with a fatal lung disease, she fought for twenty-five years to survive, but from what I’ve seen, she has done far more than that with her life – she has lived. This is far more than most of us can say we’ve done. Sanabel inspired hundreds of people and reminded them of the importance of honoring one’s body.

I ask each and everyone one out there to count your blessings. Allah gave you your body and organs for you to take care of them. They are Ammanah (a trust) to you. Those who smoke, think twice about the consequences you may come across later in life. Those who drink or do drugs think about the harmful things that can happen while you’re under influence. You may take your own life and the life of others. I was born imperfect with a fatal lung disease and Alhamdulilah Im 25 yrs old. With all new medical discoveries I’ve lived this long, but I didn’t have a choice. YOU do! I’m currently at the hospital suffering from 2 bloodclots that traveled to my lungs in addition to a case of pneumonia. Alhamdulilah I could be in much worse condition. I’m fighting through… I want your prayers and your promise to yourself and to Allah that you will take care of your body…. – Sanabel Abubaker

For the last few nights, I’ve struggled to sleep as I’ve been thinking about my own challenges in life. I would make dua for Sanabel and her family, but for some reason, I would continuously feel like my struggle needed more dua. Perhaps because it was closer to home, and so it felt more real. But, I was wrong. I’ve learned that our love for a person for the sake of Allah is not one that is impacted by relation or distance, but by a sincere awareness of Allah’s blessings upon us. I look at Sanabel’s pictures on her Facebook page, and quite honestly, off the top of my head, I can’t recall any one in which she isn’t smiling. Her contagious smile makes your heart smile and tear up, as you realize that you’ve been so ungrateful and need to change and become a better person inside and out.

You know how sometimes, you learn about someone, and even if you’ve never met them in person or even spoken to them, you get this sense that they are truly touched by God? That their sheer existence is to be a symbol of hope, optimism, and faith? That was Sanabel to me. She was and will continue to be, insha Allah, a reminder of hope, faith, and sincerity in my life, as I move forward with my own life. She may no longer be with us to shine a new smile, but I know for certain that her smile has left enough sparks in the hearts of other to ignite a shine so bright that her love and soul will always have a place in this world, just as I pray it will continue to have in the Hereafter.

Take a note from Sanabel’s books and try to inspire change for the better. Make that change within yourself first, and then strive to help others do the same. Ensure that you taking the best care of your health – physically, mentally, and spiritually. Ask yourself if you’re really doing your best to take care of yourself. You never know when you’ll lose that opportunity, or if your children will lose that opportunity because of your carelessness. Be wise, be kind, be righteous, and be happy.

The greatest Jihad (struggle) one will face is the struggle against his own soul. – Prophet Muhammad (SAW)

Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity. It will have [the consequence of] what [good] it has gained, and it will bear [the consequence of] what [evil] it has earned. “Our Lord, do not impose blame upon us if we have forgotten or erred. Our Lord, and lay not upon us a burden like that which You laid upon those before us. Our Lord, and burden us not with that which we have no ability to bear. And pardon us; and forgive us; and have mercy upon us. You are our protector, so give us victory over the disbelieving people.” – Quran (2:286)

I ask you all to join me in taking a moment to pray for Sanabel and her family. I also ask that you share some kind and supportive words on Sanabel’s Facebook page, called Sanabel’s Promise, as I’m sure her friends and family would truly appreciate it. May Allah forgive her of her sins and grant her a coolness in her resting place. May He enter her into Heaven without account, simply through His Infinite Mercy. May He grant her family and friends strength to continue moving forward with memories of her that inspire them to become stronger in their faith and closeness to Allah, as well as to give them the patience, guidance, and support they need in order to face this. And finally, may Allah give them the courage to continue their lives with Sanabel in the hearts forever, and have them all reach Paradise to meet her again one day.

Ameen.

Take The Leap – Taken Literally
Take The Leap – Taken Literally 1920 1080 Nadir Keval

Plenty of times before, I’ve spoken about taking a leap towards the things you face and struggle with in life. In fact, I would say that it’s the center of most of what I talk about in my advice and development articles. Sometimes, this remains as a simple concept in our minds, and we feel as though it’s one of those things that’s just easier said than done. But what if we saw some literally take a leap that seemed as though it would be the end of him, but instead, because he prepared himself, he was able to fly and land safely? When I saw this video (below), I was floored. To take this concept and finally see it become a reality was truly inspiring. I’ve always been more hands-on with the things I do in life, and so, seeing this really motivated me to do even more towards reaching my goals. And since outdoor rock climbing was something I was afraid of doing as a kid, I think that maybe one of these days, Insha Allah, I’ll take the leap and try it out again.

Check out the video and tell me what you think! Would you be willing to take the leap? What kinds of leaps (metaphorically-speaking) have you taken recently? Share your stories in the comments below and who knows, you may just inspire someone to do something that changes their life!

Basejumping with the Skyliners and the Casio G’zOne Commando from Hypebeast on Vimeo.

Are We Truly In Search Of Justice And Peace?
Are We Truly In Search Of Justice And Peace? 1920 1080 Nadir Keval

Let’s look at the world we live in today. It’s a construct of the decisions we as a global society have made throughout the years, allowing our greed, agendas, and immoral intentions take precedent over the maintenance of justice and life. Despite all of this being a truth many of us are aware of, we become emotionally driven by our own attachments and forget about the essence of humanity as a whole. Now, I am not one to often speak about current events because I feel that it is a magnet of controversy and the like, but I felt it important for my own self to share what I believe is necessary for us to live in a world of peace, as limited as that option may be.

There are battles, wars, and struggles that are faced throughout the world on a daily basis, some bigger than others, and some in our own minds. Every single one of them holds value and weight, and should be faced with wisdom, patience, and optimism – both by those involved and by those standing on the outside, looking in. Regardless of who you are or who it is facing the struggle, we must acknowledge the struggle and its weight.

“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” – Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

The sad reality is that many of us have become numb to all the things we hear on the news. More often than not, we need for it to be something big to really make an impact. When it does, our reactions of anger and disgust with all that’s happened tend to be extremely strong at first, and a short time later, our passion towards change fades and we go back to living our lives. All the chaotic things that happen in the world are sparks of fire, and how we allow those things to impact our lives and influence our interactions with each other determines how much gas we add to that fire. If we’re smart, we’ll find ways to put out the fire through peaceful, wise, and optimistic solutions, before it grows too large for us to handle.

In no way do I mean to belittle any of the things that happen in the world today. Rather, I believe it’s important for us to work on our own selves, and to seek out knowledge and wisdom to find peace within ourselves, in order for us to find solutions to everything that goes on in the world, big or small. Through this, we will be able to deal with the news we hear about every day in a positive way, and will grow as a community. Maybe I’m speaking out of naivety, maybe I’m just saying something we’re all thinking but are too afraid to say or face, out of fear of stepping up and taking action. But, I implore all of us to consider ourselves as individuals first. For a minute, put aside all the blaming going on, put aside who may or may not have been the cause of the incidents, and ask yourself how you can make a difference. As I said, how we react to these things makes all the difference on the impact the struggles and events have on our lives. If we focus on trying to make positive changes to avoid having things like what we face happen again, we can make a difference that could benefit more people and save lives. If we, however, take the approaches we are taking today of finding someone or some group to blame and reacting in a negative and inappropriate manner, we are merely adding more reasons for more problems in the future.

Take an example from the days of elementary school, where if someone were bullied, the advice we would give them wouldn’t be to retaliate by starting to bully those bullying them. We don’t advise our children to react with the same thing they are hurt by, so why should that change when we’re all grown adults. Do we lose our sense, and emotional and mental stability when we get older? Most of what we see in the world today is bullies pointing fingers at others, and their blind followers spreading hate and negativity throughout the public to blind other people into sharing in the finger pointing. Sure, the bullies are bigger organizations or nations, and sure the followers are people on the internet and in smaller organizations, but really, it’s not that different from the school mentality. Make a change by being the better person. If someone is being blamed, investigate and seek out knowledge. Don’t be ignorant to the facts, and instead, stand for justice, wherever it may come from. Jumping the gun in blaming people and not expecting them to retaliate is dumb and ignorant. Be wise in your actions and strive to bring about positive change. People speak so much about wanting to see change and all that, but who really takes productive steps towards it? We all go out marching and protesting because of a matter (and I’m not saying that’s good or bad), but how much time is spent meeting in groups to understand with open minds the people and organizations behind the things being done, and then working hard towards taking positive, respectful, and respectable action? If the accused is an organization or a person that openly claims to have an agenda to do harm to people, then understand that the agenda is specific to those individuals involved in the matter and not to everyone that classifies themselves under that same name. For example, if a person named John goes around slapping people with blonde hair because he believes blonde haired people are evil, does that mean that every person named John believes the same thing and may slap blonde people? No. Does that mean that every blonde haired person is evil? No. So, why let that concept change in any other situation?

Ultimately, what I believe we should all do as individuals is work on ourselves to try becoming the best we can be for ourselves and for society as a whole. When you feel like someone is pushing you the wrong way, or that they seem to be trying to get you to react negatively to something they say, recognize that as being a form of bullying and walk away. Do not react in any way other than with patience unless you are put in a position of needing to defend yourself or others from actual physical harm – then too, be smart and don’t do any more than is necessary; i.e. call the police, move yourself to a safe place, and do only what is necessary to get away from the person, and do not harm out of emotional drive. Have faith in humanity and it’s ability to be good. At our core, that is what we are – good – but it is through the misuse and manipulation of our emotions that we get carried away and forget to think clearly and rationally, with wisdom and patience, when trying to find a solution.

“You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.” – Mahatma Gandhi

These are all my opinions and thoughts, and no one has any obligation to follow or agree with them. All I ask is that you consider what I’ve said with an open mind and try to find peace through helping others. Only then can we grow as a people and hope for a better future.

Fight or Flight
Fight or Flight 5184 3456 Nadir Keval

About a month ago, I was hospitalized after passing out suddenly. It was a scary experience to say the least, and it put a lot of things further into perspective. See, this wasn’t the first time I had passed out over the last few years, but it was the first time I was told that if I were to pass out again, there’s a chance it could be fatal. Well, talk about a wake up call!

The doctors as well as those close to me said that it was probably stress-induced, considering the overwhelmingly excessive stress I’ve had on my mind for the last little bit. Usually, I can handle a pretty high degree of stress and workloads, but that’s because it’s self-imposed, so I moderate how much I take in. This time, however, the sources of the stress were external and so, I didn’t know how to control them or deal with them in a safe and effective way. Thus, I ended up overloading and passed out.

When I was at the clinic having a Holter monitor (heart-rate monitor) attached to my chest, the nurse mentioned the concept of “Fight or Flight” when describing what she speculated could have been reflected in my passing out. Although this wasn’t the case, it was something that caught my attention and had me thinking for a while. It made me ponder the idea of learning to control our minds to a strong enough degree that we would be able to stop ourselves from reacting by “taking flight” more often than expected.

From what I understand, the fight or flight concept is simply a way of relaying how we react to certain things. Every person has something that makes his or her body shut down completely at the moment they interact with it in any way. When something challenges a person but doesn’t make their body involuntarily react through things like vomiting or fainting, it’s a reflection of a person’s fight. Whereas, if someone reacts negatively and has their body shut down in one way or the other, it’s a reflection of flight.

Now, being the person I am, I began to think about how I could learn to adapt to my circumstances and stress points, so that I could avoid having another black-out episode. Since the “episode” was stress-induced, I figured that the first step would be to identify my stress points. Once I did that, I began working on learning to detach my emotions from those stress points. I thought it would be harder to do, but it came quite easily once I realized that consequences of not reducing my stress (i.e. doctors said it could be fatal, remember?). Since then, the stress points haven’t gone away, but I’ve definitely found more peace and ease in dealing with things. That doesn’t mean that I have complete control of it, though. I realized this when I was humbled by the fact that despite all of my efforts, I was still feeling pain and facing major struggles when trying to avoid stress.

Lessons Learned

There are so many things in our lives that we fight every day, trying to make a living, trying to find happiness, trying to maintain relationships, and more. But, we should never let those things bring us down, because as soon as they do, they control us and we no longer control them. At that point, the best thing to do is to walk away from what you’re fighting, regardless of how far into the fight you are or of who’s watching. Take care of yourself first, because in order for you to continue your fight, you have to make sure you’re in control and are completely aware of your circumstances. For most of my life, I thought life was about putting others first and only considering myself after everyone else is content, but eventually, it bit me in the butt. I found that I was unappreciated and would be used because people would take my kindness as naivety. Yes, we should help others and make a point to do as much good during our lifetimes as possible, but that should only be done after you’ve made sure that you’re okay. And an even better approach would be make it such that helping people is a part of what helps you happy. You are the only person who you have control of appreciating you, so don’t take yourself for granted and take care of yourself! This life is a gift from God, and He’s always watching over us. You wouldn’t ignore a gift your friend gives you while he or she is watching, so how could you ignore God’s gift to you? Take it with a smile and take care of your life. You’re worth every moment of it, even more so on those days you think you’re not.

And that brings me to flight. We have to keep in mind that we are human and that we won’t always have complete control of our lives. We are fragile creatures, regardless of how much we may try to strengthen and protect ourselves. Don’t let that anger or frustrate you, though. Instead, let it humble you – let it remind you that you always have space for improvement and that you will never be completely impenetrable in whatever shield you put up around yourself, because to be vulnerable is human and to be human is to be vulnerable.

Finally!! I’ve launched my YouTube Channel!
Finally!! I’ve launched my YouTube Channel! 1280 800 Nadir Keval

Better late than never, right?? Over the weekend, I had announced that I will have a surprise for you this Monday, but with work and time just passing by so quickly, I wasn’t able to finish making the video until now. Sorry! Still, I was determined to get this video up, and so, after coming home from work at 10:30pm, I started working on editing the video, and am now done!

I started this channel to build a stronger connection and bond with all of you, and to reach out to a bigger audience, in hopes of helping more people and in making new friends to work with in growing and becoming the best we can be. Sounds cliche, but I’m completely serious 😛

The focus I’m working on right now, to start, is to start every week with a quote or thought that inspires me, and to implement that throughout the week in the different aspects of my life, and to share my thoughts, advice, and struggles with you, as I progress through this journey called life.

Check out the channel, subscribe, and follow me on the other social platforms I mentioned on the site. (I included Pinterest, but it will be a few days before I actually get anything on that social network – but don’t worry, what’s to come won’t disappoint!)

I’d love to get some feedback from all of you, so please comment on the YouTube channel, or here, and let me know what you think! It’s my first real video on the channel, so please be positive and go easy on me! 😛 😀

Life and Its Surprises
Life and Its Surprises 2716 1810 Nadir Keval

This is a tough one to write.

I began writing this with the intent of it being somewhat of a rant that would turn into a learning process for me, but as I did so, I gave it some thought, prayed and made Dua, and realized that it would be best to forgive myself and forgive those of these past few years who have made me angry, frustrated, and disappointed. I have spent the last year or so going through experiences of fluctuating emotions, tests of patience, and changes in the way of how I perceive and interact with people. Yet, despite all of these intense and shattering emotions hurting and breaking me, they have also given me the opportunity to rebuild myself into a stronger man, and have given me more ambition in embracing the Hadith:

“A believer doesn’t get bitten twice from the same lair.” – Prophet Muhammad (SAW)

I won’t go into details about what lead to me realizing the truths that have brought me to the point I’m at now, out of respect for myself, others who have come and gone from my life, those who have remained, and out of trust in Allah, as I believe that the past is in the past, and we should leave it there. Still, I will try to speak on the lessons I have learned during this time, so as to give myself a reminder through which to continue my growth, and to perhaps help any of you that may have experienced difficulties or struggles during your lives.

People

People are truly unpredictable, as their true intentions are unknown to us, and sometimes even to themselves, which can result in them leaving us stranded at the end of our time with them. This applies in any form of relationship (that isn’t secured by being rooted in the hopes to please God, or towards a better good, in my opinion); romantic relationships, friendships, work relationships, family relationships, etc.

Often, we look at the circumstances we face, or see the ways in which our efforts resulted in something other than what we desired or hoped for, and we feel that perhaps, we were the ones who didn’t make enough of an effort, even if we knew that we had given our best towards that relationship. Through this realization, I’ve learned that if we can reflect back on our experiences and relationships, and say that we put our best foot forward, we should be strong enough to walk away from a situation with contentment in knowing that we did our best, and accepting that what happened was because the other person didn’t do their part (the pessimistic approach), or that there’s something better for us that God is reserving us for (the optimistic approach). My personal approach has seemed to linger in a balance between pessimism and optimism, when it comes to matters as these.

Still, in an effort to remain optimistic, I strive to forgive those who have hurt me, betrayed me, or made things difficult for me when better options were available. That group of people includes myself. I recognize that in all that we face, we all play a role, to varying degrees, in which we allowed ourselves to experience what we experienced. That said, one of the first steps towards moving forward is forgiving yourself for your thoughts, actions, etc. and recognizing that what you went through was necessary for you to grow into who you are now.

After doing this, work towards forgiving others. No matter how horrific or painful the things that have been said or done towards you are, forgive. I know this is easier said than done, especially when there is so much emotion involved and invested, especially if it all came unexpectedly, but for your own sake and sanity, you have to let go and forgive. Allah will reward you with something better if you leave something for His Sake. I promise you, it’s better for you.

All of this may take time, but what’s most important is not that you force yourself to forgive and move forward, but rather, that you proactively work towards forgiving yourself and others until your heart can find peace. A key that I’ve found towards doing this is not speaking about the problems, but recognizing that they are of the past, and that they slowly need to be given the opportunity to leave your heart and mind.

A personal example is one of an individual that was very dear and close to me for the last two years, and is no longer a part of my life. That experience left me angry, disappointed, saddened, and confused. But, I chose to turn to Allah, Alhamdulillah, and as time continues to progress, I see more and more reason to understand how that person being a part of life was, in fact, keeping me from fully embracing myself in my life goals, how that person would not help me in the long run towards becoming who I hoped to become, and how I deserved much better in the types of people I allowed into my life. But, that realization only began to come into effect as I left things to Allah. I am still working towards forgiving that person, but I am pleased with how things turned out, because from it, I have learned lessons, and have learned to appreciate others that have entered my life since. So, ultimately, I can say with great conviction and pleasure, Alhamdulillah.

Work

We all go through our struggles when it comes to working hard and reaching our goals, and at times, what we planned doesn’t fall into place. Take it as a blessing. I understand how difficult it can be to let go of something that you’ve worked so long and hard towards, but there comes a point at which you need to reevaluate your approach towards your goals. That doesn’t mean that you should throw aside your goals and work towards things that are more “realistic”, but instead, it just means that you should be open to exploring different ways through which you can reach your goal.

“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” – Albert Einstein

The beauty of living freely towards reaching your goals is that there is no right or wrong answer as to how you can achieve your ambitions. By working hard in the way you see most fit, you will find yourself motivated and inspired. Pray Isthikhaarah (the prayer for guidance) before you start an approach towards your goal, and if you find yourself struggling, pray it again. As long as the ambition towards using that approach remains in your heart with ease, keep at it. But, if you find yourself struggling, and deliberately holding on to something, step away from it, pray Isthikhaarah again, and keep your heart and mind open to other options. Allah will guide you towards what’s best for you.

To give you an example, for the last few years, one of my companies has been building, but I always felt as though something was missing, and that I couldn’t feel a connection to it. I had lost the original vision behind the project, and felt lost. So, I recently detached myself from the old ways of pursuing success in that business, and began to seek guidance from Allah, prayed Isthikhaarah, and took some time away from it all to think about what my vision originally was, and how I wanted to make it a reality in my own way. After some time, it dawned on me, and now, I am happier than ever in how I am approach the services provided by this particular company.

Faith

Ah, the greatest component of one’s life (in my opinion) is this: faith. Without it, I would honestly be a reflection of chaos, scattered thoughts, and depression. The beauty of faith is that it is very natural when you truly submit to it, because you go through ups and downs, and experience an onslaught of emotions and confusion as you battle your soul towards helping it grow. The soul can be very stubborn sometimes, but it is through that, that we grow into becoming stronger in mind and heart.

How does all of this relate to life and its surprises? Well, what I’ve found through the challenges and changes of my relationships with people and my work experiences, is that because the intention was always (to the best of my abilities) to please God, ultimately, EVERYTHING that happened, both the seemingly good and the seemingly bad, ended up bringing me closer to Him. I was surprised to find myself overcoming major challenges in my faith, and it was through His Mercy and Love that I was able to experience those blessings. I can’t express my gratitude to Him for everything that has happened, is happening, and will happen, and I pray that He gives me the opportunity, ability, cognizance, and consciousness to continue to praise Him, thank Him, and remember Him.

In The End…

There is no end. That’s the thing. Even after death, our deeds continue to benefit us. Even after The Day of Judgment, we have an eternity to experience the results of our actions in this life.

Life will throw us surprises through situations and experiences that will baffle us. At times, we will lead ourselves, be it through the whispers and invitations of Shaitaan and others or not, towards paths that will benefit us, as long as we strive towards pleasing Him, and remember that our return is ultimately to Him.

You have to live your life to the fullest and do what makes YOU happiest. Many of us lead lives to please others, in fear that without doing so, we will lose their love or commitment. But, we have to build relationships with those we think make us happiest, we have to pursue our goals that make us happiest, and we can’t accept any less. This is unfortunately a tough and often pushed aside thought for many, but it’s on us to do our best to live as happy of lives as we can. Live to please God and yourself. Everyone else will love you for it, eventually. Be pleased with your life and what it brings, because every experience has its purpose, and every scar has its story.

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