hearts

More Than Mediocre

More Than Mediocre 1440 964 Nadir Keval

As children, most of us are privileged and fortunate enough to hear and believe that we are capable of accomplishing anything we put our minds to. Our minds are free, full of imagination and limitless possibilities. We don’t concern ourselves with the opinions of others, or the risks of failure. We simply follow our hearts and intuition, and move freely towards what we want, driven to get what we want, no matter the costs.

Then, we begin to interact with people. We begin to see that our dreams and goals are something others have attempted and have failed at. We begin to question if it’s really worth it to take so many risks. We learn about the way things are “supposed” to be, and how we’re “supposed” to live our lives, and are brainwashed into believing that there isn’t much out there for us to achieve, beyond what has already been accomplished by others. Honestly, to call this bullshit would be an insult to bullshit.

Growing up, I was the type of person that had a great deal of potential, and would be reminded of it often by teachers and relatives. The problem, however, was that I would be placed in the most conventional and typical scenarios to fulfill that potential, that I wasn’t able to find a space where I was able to be my true self. In the eyes of teachers and relatives, I was an academic flop, but simply for the reason that they believed I wasn’t trying hard enough. Parent-Teacher interviews usually went like this:

Teacher: Nadir is one of the best young men I’ve met. He’s smart, he’s intelligent, he gets along well with others, and he is always there to help when needed.

Parents: (grinning) Thank you.

Teacher: But…he seems to be very distracted in class, is often late with his assignments, and seems to struggle with tests, even if he understands the material.

Parents: Oh…

The conversation would then lead to my parents asking the teacher how they could help me, the teacher suggesting tutoring, a schedule, my parents checking and signing my homework book every night, etc. I tried every single one of those things, but nothing seemed to work. It worked for some others, but for me, it just didn’t work. This continued all the way into university, until I came to a point of making the conscious decision to find a new way.

That was when things seemed brighter in my eyes, despite the fact that I was now being called, “A jack of all trades, and a master of none.” That didn’t sit well with me, because I knew that it was possible for me to become more than just one thing. I didn’t want to be mediocre. I looked at the lives of those around me and those I heard about on TV or in the dreadful gossip circles you see at most events. Most people seemed to be miserable with their lives. They hated their jobs, they had lost all romance in their relationships (if they were in one at all – some find singlehood to be the ideal lifestyle, by the way…for me, having someone to share a life with and to be completely comfortable with is one of the most beautiful things life has to offer), they always wanted what they didn’t have and were upset and unsatisfied with what they did have. I looked at that and saw horrifying examples of what following the societal path to “success” looked like.

I decided that enough was enough. I decided that I would go after my goals, and create more dreams and goals as I went along. I decided that if someone told me that I would never be able to accomplish one of my goals, it would then be a personal challenge to make sure that I accomplish it, simply so I can know in my heart that I’m capable of more than what’s expected of me.

I quickly learned that being mediocre was something that just didn’t work for me. I believe I am destined for greatness, destined to be more than mediocre. Why let others dictate what I am and am not capable of?

“Never let anyone’s thoughts, words, or actions towards you dictate the value of your life. Do right by God and do right by you. Focus on those two things and, by the will of God, the rest will come together in the best way possible.” – Nadir Keval

The world is filled with people with lives that are so incredibly similar, while having the potential of being so incredibly unique. What takes us away from being the best we can be is the fact that we become accustomed to living according to what others tell us is okay, acceptable, and realistic. Personally, I call bullshit on that again! I often tell this to my mentoring clients, and I’ll share it with all of you: The key to success lies in a balance of two things…knowledge of your beliefs and values with the action to back it up, balanced with a ridiculously driven and unfaltering work ethic towards making your dreams and goals a reality.

I hope you can take this information and go after your dreams, knowing that every single one of us is capable of being far more than mediocre. You have your own unique purpose in this world, and the best way you can achieve it is by never giving up on becoming better at being you. I’d love to hear your stories on how you’ve come up against the challenges of being your best you, and how you dealt with it. Leave a comment below to get the conversation started!

Relationships: What If?

Relationships: What If? 1280 800 Nadir Keval

So, I was sifting through YouTube when I fell upon this video. I’d say it’s pretty well done, considering I would say that many of us have experienced something similar to this in our lives. At first, I thought, wow, what a great depiction of relationships. Then, I realized that there is much more we could do to approach relationships in a more mature, responsible and stress-free way.

See, Islam’s way to approach a relationship is different, but unfortunately, today, people feel that this is a better approach. It’s a touching story, but in truth, Allah knows what is best, and His advice through the Quran and through the teachings of the Prophet (pbuh) is ultimately still more beneficial. If we all learned to just trust in Allah more, we’d find love much easier to find. Allah knows best, and it’s important we remember that we just need to bring our hearts closer to Him, and He will bring us the love we deserve, Insha Allah 🙂

We worry so often about what will happen if we get married to someone that’s not right for us. But, I guarantee that if we do things as Muslims, in the way that Islam has taught us to do things, we won’t lose. I know, I know, the divorce rate amongst Muslims is drastically increasing, but at the same time, have we ever considered that the reason is because we go about getting married in ways that displease Allah? He is the One that can either bless or curse our marriages, so why do we not focus on ensuring that we live out our lives, have our weddings, and build our marriages in ways that He has described as being the righteous and most beneficial way? How many times has Allah promised us that He will protect us if we solely rely on Him? That promise is stronger than any promise a person can give you. So, trust it!

What is there to fear? One of two things will happen if you consider someone: Allah will bring you closer to that person and make marriage come easy, or He will remove that person from your heart and replace them with someone that’s better for you. Either way, it’s a win-win Insha Allah. Focus on building yourself, and if someone is suggested to you, or you’re interested in someone, pray Isthikhaarah and make dua. Then, if you feel inclined towards that person, talk to them bluntly about things. Relationships in Islam are clear-cut. Either you’re into the person or you’re not. It doesn’t take months or years to know if a person is good for you to consider for marriage or not. It takes a moment to say, this person is someone I could consider, or that this person isn’t. Your Isthikhaarah will take effect insha Allah, and things will become clear to you. Do things with Allah in mind, and move forward from there.

Muslims aren’t wusses because we know that we have nothing to worry about except for seeking Allah’s pleasure. We know that Allah has our backs, so we’re supposed to be stress-free. Ever thought that if that’s how we Muslims should be, then all these doubts and concerns that enter our minds when we fear approaching marriage even when we find someone we think would be great for us, might just be the whispers of Shaitaan? Makes ya think, doesn’t it?

Regardless, be straightforward, tell a person how you feel, ask Allah to guide you, and then take steps forward. If the person’s right for you, Allah will make it clear to you if you are reliant on Him. If the person isn’t good for you, He will make it clear to you to steer clear of that person, once again IF you are reliant on Him.

Don’t spend too much time just hanging around. You’re just asking for fitna (temptation/tribulation). The Prophet (pbuh) even said that, “The best thing for two people who love one another is marriage.” (that was me paraphrasing, by the way) Now, I’m not saying that you’ll fall in love right away. Every relationship has its own time for that if it’s meant to be. What I AM saying though, is that if you think someone is good for you, and you’ve done your Isthikhaarah, take steps forward towards making it happen.

Sure, you may be engaged (in the halal way, of course!) for a while, so that you can prep yourself financially or so you can finish school, etc. but at least you will have protected yourself from the ridiculous amount of fitna there is in the world, you will have a confidant and someone you can rely on to be there for you Insha Allah. You will feel more secure too.

Either way, this is just me ranting now, but I truly believe that we should all be more active in approaching marriage in a more Islamically sound manner. Sure, times have changed and society approaches things differently now, but correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t Allah say that He has perfected this religion for all of mankind (ie. the people at the time of the Prophet (pbuh), people now, and all those to come in the future until the Day of Judgment)? So, then, who are we to say that we know better than Allah? Right?

This is all just my thoughts. I’d love to hear what you think. And, I pray that Allah gives us all the strength, courage, patience, guidance, and all else we need in order for us to find ease in every step of marriage, and that you all are blessed with the best of spouses. Ameen.

Poem: Beauty, Be Mine

Poem: Beauty, Be Mine 960 854 Nadir Keval

I’ve been searching,
A long time wanting,
For someone to come my way,
brightening my day.
I looked around me,
Thinking that there’s gotta be,
A woman wanting to be found,
By the man who could see,
That every ounce of beauty in her is unique.
I saw you, and you stood out,
Your image itself showed me what true beauty was about.
I could hear you yelling out my name,
Not through your lips,
But by how you made my heart believe you had it claimed.
I saw you all the time,
But never did it cross my mind,
That I could ever want you,
To be more than just an acquaintance of mine.
Slowly, your every attribute had me,
You’re more perfect than anyone could be.
Through all this time, how didn’t I see,
That you’re the one girl I’d always need.
We’ve been blessed with everything possible,
We’re compatible, mature and responsible.
Now, all we gotta do is,
Wait it out, ‘cause,
We got goals in life,
Trying to live out what we love.
I get that baby,
But I want you to know,
That I want you as my lady,
As the one I’ll never want to let go.
I hope you feel the same,
But I’ma leave it to God,
‘cause only He knows where our hearts will remain.
I see that there’s no beauty like yours,
‘cause everytime I look at you, time takes a pause.
I want you to be that light in my life,
To be that warmth,
Like the Prophet got from his wives.
God’s created you so perfectly,
Probably as my life’s definition of beauty.
But He’s also given you my favourite type of soul,
Like Khadijah to the Rasul,
I want you to be my world.

Copyright © Nadir Keval

Poem: Devalued Priceless

Poem: Devalued Priceless 1168 1168 Nadir Keval

They say, “You’ll never make it;
Without the money,
Life as a poet is pointless.”
What about the movement?
In the souls of readers,
In the hearts of lovers,
In the minds of dreamers,
In the humanity of disbelievers?
It’s easy to see,
That life is filled with simplicity.
That is the essence of poetry:
A depiction of reality,
Placed perfectly,
So as to reflect the essence of beauty.
Does that means there’s an intertwine,
between Poetic and Beautiful minds?
Might they be the same?
Both so amazing to find,
Yet so rare to see combined?
Money? Well, it runs the world.
But it loses all value,
If it penetrates the soul.
I’m not saying I don’t wanna be a millionaire,
But not for myself, but for those who deserve a share.
A share at opportunity
And food to eat.
The world’s in need of assistance,
In need of people looking for justice,
in every heartbeat.
This is the epitomy of poetry:
Speaking out words,
Seeming simple,
But moving soul mountains,
In hopes that something will shift,
Becoming a way to bring back “happy”.
What worth is wealthy,
If u have no peace when you sleep?
If not making a difference,
Are you really using your existence,
To the best of your ability?
Ask yourself that,
But be warned:
There’s a chance, no matter your goodness,
You’ll find a small (seeming large) section of bitterness.
Think.
Elevate minds.
Travel through hearts.
Impact lives.

Copyright © Nadir Keval
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