norm

Wandering Heart
Wandering Heart 1600 1200 Nadir Keval

When reading the word “heart” in a title, it usually means that you’re going to be reading about something related to love and relationships. In this case, however, that is far from the case. In the last little while, I have struggled with my own happiness. I’ve been unsure of so much, and with having lived a lifetime feeling as though I am destined to fail due to the opinions of many around me and through my own “downfalls” in life, everything seemed to have piled up and beat me to the ground. Fortunately, I had my faith holding me above the water, as well as some family and friends that helped me stay afloat, but overall, in my relationship with myself, I have been insecure and severely lacking confidence.

It’s funny how ironic my situation had become, being a person who has lived most of his life helping people through comforting and advising, to be the same person who needs comfort, advice, and help. Ah, how things often work out. I have faced many difficult times, especially in the emotional and mental realm. Still, I personally look at it as a blessing, because it is only through having truly experienced the ups and downs of life that I’m able to help others in similar situations. Of course, there is plenty I have not or have yet to face, but I believe that for all of us, what we face is simply God’s gift to us. Not only does what we face build us in strength and character, but it acts as evidence to the fact that there is nothing God places in our path that we are incapable of overcoming.

“Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity.” – Quran (2:286)

The struggles and successes are drawn out paths towards strength and success, a blessing from God. It’s just a matter of us believing in ourselves enough to pull through and push forward.

What I’ve faced throughout most of my life is being very different from the rest. How I’ve approached every aspect of my life has made me an outcast in most cases. From my childhood when I was more intrigued by contemplation and solitude than by sports and competition, to my youth when I wouldn’t indulge or even try things like drugs and alcohol as many of my former peers did, to my adulthood when I would approach a career and lifestyle in a way that was so far from the norm that only a small percentage of the world’s population pursues. These differences made it difficult for me to relate to anyone, thus reducing the number of people I was able to connect with and share a beneficial relationship with. Those who did stay around me often made me feel as though I was a failure or that I was living in a fantasy because of my approaches towards life. They used their pessimism and lack of patience and understanding to make me feel as though I was destined to be left behind while others my age became successful.

All of these had broken me time and time again, and this last time, I felt as though there were too many shattered pieces for me to stand a chance at rebuilding. I was so unsure of everything happening in my life that it was as though I had entered some form of paralysis. I didn’t know what to do, and if I gave my mind the opportunity to dig deeper into that hole of thought, I began to fall in, ultimately entering a freefall with no parachute to save me from a fatal impact. The fall was long, until I realized that since this is a matter of my mind, I was able to create a “parachute” and use it to land safely before beginning my ascension back up to stable ground.

This is when every thought in my mind was bridged together, and a solution was seen. I was missing the glue that connected it all together, and made me who I am. I realized that it is my mind that is perhaps my greatest asset – eternal gratitude and praise is due to Allah for it. I now understand and accept that the purpose of my being and my mind is not to be embraced or supported. I need to simply live, love, and dream. I have to do that with all that I am. God will handle the rest. He will bring those meant to be in my heart towards me, and will distance me from those who could harm me. All praise is due to Him.

Since recognizing this, I now find myself breaking out of the vicious cycle of unhappiness and negativity, and I can feel the weight of the world (that my mind had created or allowed to fester and grow) leaving me. I focus now solely on spreading happiness and seeking happiness through doing what pleases me, within the bounds of what pleases Allah, as He is the One from whom I have received the gift that is my life.

Poem: Daydreaming
Poem: Daydreaming 1398 1184 Nadir Keval

This has been a journey,
like none I’ve ever faced before.
Yet, all this time I didn’t know,
that every moment was a new opportunity.

I spent so many years searching,
trying to find my purpose.
But, never did I see
that I have flourished,
even when it seemed like I had perished.

Life put me through its seasons,
breaking me down,
and bringing me up again.
Every moment,
every challenge,
given to me to live out my dreams.

I’ve been living a dream,
a blessing if I’ve ever seen one.
But, like with every dream,
we crisscross between reality and fantasy.

My life has been a constant battle,
fighting the expected
against the desired.
The challenge to be a dreamer,
trying to be stable,
flowing in balance with the winds of freedom,
is far more than any journey.
It’s an adventure
filled with misdemeanors,
as everyone expects you to stick to reality.

My purpose was found in those ruins,
the grounds of life painted
with the death of norms and expectations.
I have learned that to live out my dreams,
I must embrace the crossing paths,
of fantasies and reality.
Only then will I find my way
paving my path,
brick by brick,
painting it with what I have earned,
happiness, confidence,
and my daydream turned reality.

Copyright © Nadir Keval

Priorities in Life
Priorities in Life 1238 912 Nadir Keval

I can’t remember the last time I had an actual conversation with someone that required some intellect and world knowledge.

Nowadays, people hardly have conversations because they’re always on the go, trying to reach some financial or career goal, or things like that.

What ever happened to the simple joys of using your mind for sincere, in-depth thought?

Why don’t people just slow down and smell the roses? And don’t say it’s cause the world works that way.

YOU make your own world.

YOU decide what you do with your life, and whether or not you’ll be a slave to society’s views on success.

What do you want out of life? What are you willing to do to get it? What will you compromise? What are your priorities?

I just find that people today are so focused on worldly things that are temporary, that they forget about focusing on the things that have deeper meaning. For example: the guy that says, “I won’t have a conversation with someone unless it’ll help me with my work/school/etc.” WHAT IS THAT?!?! What about just taking a moment to talk to someone, purely for the sake of just sharing thoughts on life? No complaining, no whining, none of that. Just talking about thoughts on life, or how the world is such an amazing and beautiful place, but we so often miss it?

What about the guys and girls that say, “I wanna finish school before I focus on my faith,” or, “I won’t get married until I’m stable with my job and career,” or, “Living here in Canada/United States requires us to modify Islam to fit what the norm is.”

First off…

School = this life.

Faith = Hereafter.

Career = this life.

Marriage = Hereafter. (and a 50% passing grade freebie for your Life test – read on if you don’t know what I mean)

Pleasing people = this life.

Pleasing Allah = Hereafter.

Think about what is most important to you as a Muslim. We don’t know when we’ll die and have to face Allah’s judgment, and so, why can’t we put as much, if not more focus on pleasing Allah and preparing for the Judgment Day, as we put on passing that class or getting that degree? What is the degree going to get you? Yes, Insha Allah, it’ll give you an opportunity at a job/career, a stable income, and a sense of security for you and your family. I’m not saying that education is bad. In fact, I’m an advocate towards lifelong learning, and constantly seeking knowledge in the way that best suits you and your learning style. But, that job, that stable income, that security, is all from Allah, and He can take it away just as easily as He gave it to you. There’s no guarantee. BUT, if you trust in Allah, then you know for certain that He will provide for you what you need, and whatever stresses or difficulties you face will in fact be blessings in disguise, as Allah says:

“And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him. Verily, Allah will accomplish his purpose. Indeed Allah has set a measure for all things.” [Surah At-Taubah, Chapter 65, Verses 2-3]

You can relate that verse to so many different factors of our lives. This include school, faith, career, marriage, pleasing others, pleasing Allah, and whatever else you face in life.

You may ask, why would I put career and marriage in the same category? It’s because we find too many people putting such a huge focus on their careers and not bothering with marriage, thinking that marriage will actually deter them from their school work. To be honest, I have never seen a case where a couple has lost their focus or done worse in school because of their marriage. In fact, I’ve actually seen the opposite. The reason, they explained to me, was that by being married, you build a foundation of support, trust and understanding with the person you marry. You don’t need to look for support, because your spouse will stand by you as you reach your goals. You build a trust, because during the growing phases of your life, you stand together and help each other along the way. And you build an understanding of each other, where you know what matters to your spouse, and you both learn to better understand and compromise (which are both HUGE key ingredients to a successful marriage). You grow together into one unit. You learn to build that bond that is unmatched by any other. The bond of marriage so beloved to Allah. It’s one of the greatest things you can do for yourself and your future in this life and the Hereafter.

That makes so much sense to me. When you’re not married, and I can vouch for this, you become so tied up with school, a career, and making money, that you don’t find time to balance and prioritize things. There are more important things in life than just school and career. There’s family, health, and most importantly, faith.

We need to begin reflecting on this, as it bring me to my next point: pleasing Allah vs. pleasing people. Don’t get me wrong, Islam teaches being good to others, and to treat people with the utmost level of care and kindness. But, it is done through the remembrance of God, and the emulation of the life of the Prophet. When someone asks you to do something that deters you from pleasing God, or makes you do something that is Haraam, then it is of no benefit to you. Please Allah, and He will make others who matter be pleased with you. Besides, He is the Owner of hearts, the Provider of all things, and the Most Generous.

Think about it. It was a great reminder for me. Hopefully, it was for you too.

 
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