reflection

Question: Seen enough of what the world has to offer. What do I do?
Question: Seen enough of what the world has to offer. What do I do? 1920 1080 Nadir Keval

Question:

Brother Nadir, I wanted to ask your perception on a certain idea. I feel that Allah has shown me enough of what this limited world has to offer. I don’t think the world can get any more badder from personal experience and observation of others life, and Allah has given us so much things to be grateful for, that it makes me feel guilty of even being a part of this world. Because surely I cannot return. So what would you do? Does it makes sense? :/

Answer:

Assalaamu alaikum,

Ramadan Mubarak!

I think I understand what you’re asking, and there are a few points that cross my mind. Your message sparked many thoughts into my mind, the strongest of which was that if you feel that Allah has shown you enough, then make an effort and make dua. If you feel that He has shown you enough good, ask for more. If you feel that He has shown you enough bad, ask for less, ask for strength and guidance, and ask Him to make you grateful. Also, because you have not yet seen what the future has to hold, you don’t really know what is out there.

Look at it this way: as a child, you would look at up the kitchen countertop and wonder what it would be like to see the top of the counter. You would ask your parents to show it to you, so they would lift you up to see, and you would be grateful. Eventually, you grew up, and that countertop was easily accessible to you, so you forgot about how great it was when you got to see it as a child. It became a norm, a thing of no significance. Still, you would go walking in downtown and would see tall buildings, wondering what was in them. Then, you grow up, get a job, and are working in a tall building as well. Eventually, going to work and being in that building would become a norm and routine for you, and if you didn’t enjoy your job, you may even dread going to that tall building you once dreamt about. So, you would begin to wonder what it would be like to be on the top floor of the building, to live life as the boss. So, you’d work hard and eventually would reach the top of the building. There, you would face the challenges of running a business, the responsibilities of leading a balanced life, and trying to continue to build the business. It will have its days of being overwhelming and difficult, and if you were to let those things get to you, you’d begin to dread being the boss, and would hate being at the top of the building, dreaming of going back to your old job as a worker in the middle of the tall building. You may then even tell yourself that you’ve had enough of this life and that want to die. Then, eventually, when it is written for you, you pass away. As you lay in the grave, your soul being asked its questions, you will wish you were alive again, so that you could be grateful for all that Allah gave you. You would wish you were at the top of the building again, so you could take the opportunity to help as many people as you could because you had been blessed with so much. You would try to make life easier for the people that worked below you, because you were once in their position and know what kinds of things would benefit them. Then, you would realize how blessed you were as that teen, where Allah gave you the resources, support, and guidance to do well in your pursuits and get a job in a tall building as you had once dreamed. And you would be thankful to Allah for giving you that sense of curiousity and ambition as a child that lead to you want to always see more. But alas, you will find yourself laying in the grave, no chance of going back to ask Allah for forgiveness or to show Him your gratitude for all that He blessed you with.

So, consider some lessons from this story:

  • There is always more that we have left to see in this world, and there will never come a time when things will be perfect. Instead of being sad over the fact that you feel the world can’t get any worse in your personal life or around the world, step out of sadness and step up into action and start making changes to help yourself and others lead better lives. Don’t be amongst those who complain and fall into depressed solitude when facing struggle. Instead, be amongst those who recognize that Allah has promised us that “Allah does not change the condition of a people until they change that which is within themselves.” (Quran 13:11) Make a change in your own life, and then work towards helping others do the same, while being kind, understanding, and patient.
  • No matter how far you get in life, always look back at how things once were and find lessons and reminders to keep you on track and grateful.
  • Always thank Allah and ask Him for forgiveness, because there is no limit to how much we have to be grateful for, and there is no knowing how much we need to seek forgiveness for.
  • If you are unsatisfied with how things are in life, always remember to make dua and to ask Allah for guidance and help. He is capable of all things, so don’t hesitate and don’t be ashamed to ask Him when you’re down or scattered in thought.
  • Our purpose in life is to worship Allah. This is to be done through prayer and supplication, as well as through our careers, seeking knowledge, building relationships, being a part of charitable pursuits, and more. We don’t know how long it will take for us to fulfill our individual roles in this purpose (i.e. we don’t know long we’re meant to live), but it is on us to take advantage of the time we have been given to fulfill our purpose to the best of our abilities until ALLAH sees fit that we no longer continue. And when that will be is not in our knowledge, so it’s always best to not dwell on that, and to instead, place our focus on worshiping Allah through everything we do.

Also, there is no need for you to feel guilty for what Allah has blessed you with. You wouldn’t have it if you weren’t worthy of it. But, what matters now is how you pass this test…will you be grateful, or will you ignore the blessing of Allah has given you?

Ultimately, our lives are gifts from Allah and it’s on us to make the most of life. If you feel as though Allah has shown you enough good, then spend the rest of the time Allah has given you in this life showing Him gratitude by worshiping Him, thanking Him, and striving to live for the sake of goodness of humanity through following the example of the Prophet (SAW). If you feel as though Allah has shown you enough bad in this life, stop being sad about it and make a change towards growth and betterment. Complaining or feeling bad about it won’t make things better. Taking action will.

Allah knows best.

I pray that Allah guides all of us towards being more grateful, patient, and driven, and that this message reaches you in the best of health and Imaan (faith). Take care.

Wassalaamu alaikum,

Nadir Keval (www.nadirkeval.com)

Video: Finding Balance
Video: Finding Balance 934 525 Nadir Keval

In our lives, we are brought challenges, struggles, opportunities, and more, and if not balanced, we can quickly get overwhelmed, resulting in us drowning in our own potential. Many of us grow up without much responsibility, and when it comes down to it, we’re advised by our parents, providers, or whoever we depend on, to focus solely on one thing at a time while they take care of everything else. For example, we go to school, and often, if we’re privileged enough, are told to not work or do anything else and just focus on getting good grades. The reality of life, however, is that when life kicks in, you can’t just focus on one thing. You have responsibilities – a family, your health, your career, your leisure activities, and more. If you focus on just one, you’ll end up getting an avalanche of overdue tasks and responsibilities piling on to you, leaving you incapable of getting back up without an excruciating amount of time and unnecessary effort. Time and energy/effort are two very precious things. Don’t waste them on cleaning up messes you’ve created for yourself. Use them to move forward and upward instead.

Get Your Priorities Straight

One of the first things needed to find balance is to recognize and organize your priorities. Look at the different aspects of your life, label them, and then categorize them according to importance and urgency. In my case, I hold these priorities, in this particular order: faith, family and self, health, passion/work.

Give 100% To Each Aspect

When working on anything, you should always give it your all. But, in order to commit to that completely, you must place focus on one thing at a time. That doesn’t mean that you should work on one thing and neglect everything. Shoot, if I did that, I’d be sending myself to the career graveyard. Instead, place 100% of your focus on each thing in your life when you’re attending to it. So, if you’re at work, be completely at work, and don’t get distracted by unnecessary distractions. If, however, your family calls, or you need to do a prayer, step away from work and attend to your priorities. In my list, faith and family come before passion and work, and so, I step away and respond. One reminder though…if you’re on the family side of that transaction, respect the person’s personal space and responsibilities, and refrain from contacting him or her unless there is an emergency.

Learn more about the things mentioned in this article in the video below:

10 Tips For A Better Ramadan
10 Tips For A Better Ramadan 1920 1200 Nadir Keval

Every Ramadan, we set goals and resolutions, and just like New Year resolutions, these are quickly forgotten. The first week of Ramadan has now passed and this is the perfect opportunity to reevaluate and determine where we are and where we can go with our faith, character, and lifestyle. This Ramadan, use these tips (in no particular order) to get yourself back in check. Work hard at making these a reality, and insha Allah, you’ll see positive differences and changes in your relationship with yourself and with Allah. May Allah make these steps beneficial for all of us, and guide us towards that which is best for us to continue with throughout our lives here and in the Hereafter. Ameen.

1. Get out of bed and your bedroom as quickly as possible

Every morning, at least for me, it’s a challenge to get myself out of bed and get to work. I love what I do in my life, and aspire to do so much more every day, but the truth is, sleep is a luxury I would love to indulge in more. Still, with the bed and bedroom come temptations that just aren’t beneficial. For example, laziness becomes something that is so easily attainable, especially if you’re someone who doesn’t work a 9-5, like me, or if you’re a student with classes later in the day. At the time of the Prophet (SAW), they spent so much of their time during Ramadan in worship, hard work towards feeding their families, and more, to the point that many went days, weeks, or sometimes even the entire month with only a few hours of sleep per night. They are examples for us, to show us that they too were human and capable of keeping up. So, get out of bed, get dressed, and get started with your day. It’ll keep you disciplined, on point and focused, and will give you a better night’s sleep when you head to bed every night. For one month, make sacrifices and put your faith before your sleep. You’ve done it for your job, to study for exams, to take care of your kids, and sometimes even to hang out with your friends. Reducing your sleep hours during this one month won’t hurt, especially if you’re using it towards worship. (Remember, I’m not a doctor though, so this may not work for everyone. But, before you write this step off, ask yourself what your intention and reason is behind cutting down sleep.)

2. Eat clean and smart

Oh, the horrifying things Muslims do to themselves when Iftar and Suhoor come around. May Allah guide and forgive us. When you’re eating, it should be for the sake of nourishment and not gluttony. Eat to live. Don’t live to eat. This Ramadan, stick to the natural basics, and avoid anything from a wrapper. Also, avoid sugars and caffeine. Sugar because it won’t keep you nourished for the day, and caffeine because studies have shown that it leads to dehydration. Stick to proteins, fiber-rich foods, fruit, vegetables, nuts, water, and milk. And finally, remember to eat in moderation. The food isn’t going anywhere. Eat small portions, eat clean and nutritious, and eat only at Iftar and Suhoor times. Avoid eating full meals between the two times. If you feel very hungry, drink lots of water and munch on things like fruits, veggies, and nuts.

3. Stay active, but listen to your body

One of the most common things I hear before Ramadan, from others and myself is, “I’m going to work out a lot this Ramadan and just shred the fat away.” I’m going to be straight with you here: no, you’re not. It’s definitely possible for you to shred fat during Ramadan, but that won’t come through aggressive and excessive workouts. It will come through nutrition and workout consistency. Before you start doing your three 2-hour workouts every day (which can be harmful and counter-productive unless planned out with proper knowledge and application of the human body, its needs, and your own unique body’s chemistry), take it one step at a time, and pace yourself. As you get comfortable with one thing, add the next. Most importantly though, listen to your body. Don’t over exert yourself. If you need to rest, rest.

Remember, Ramadan is a time to train your body, mind, and spirit for the year to come, so don’t jump in completely without preparation and by taking on everything at once. Be patient and wise, and take small steps towards your goals.

4. Put your faith first

When you start your day, start it with faith. Work towards getting the faith-related things you had planned for the day done first, so as to avoid procrastination. It’s far too easy to get caught up in your daily activities and to forget the things you had set out to do differently this Ramadan. So, if you are hoping to finish reading the Quran during this month, make some time in the morning before work, school, or anything else, and read a few pages or even a chapter or two. Make it a point to pray as soon as the time for each Salah comes in, and take out some time out of your day to listen or watch a lecture online or at your local Masjid.  The point is, indulge in your faith and make it the root of your life, and you will find yourself cleansed of stress, strife, and mental clutter. (I actually just wrote an article about this: The Seed Of All Success)

5. Make a goal list

It’s really easy to fall of course when we make a mental list of our tasks and don’t write things down. It may seem possible at first, but eventually, things pile up and you forget one or two things here or there, and the next thing you know, you’ve missed something major and fallen off track. Write down your goals for the month. If you already had done so before Ramadan began, take this as an opportunity to revise and renew those goals. This first week was the trial run – your beta phase. Reflect on the last week, think about what you’ve done, what you can do to become better, write down tasks to make it more clear, and then take action and make your goals a reality.

6. Keep a journal

This can do wonders for you when you’re working towards growth in any aspect of life. Keep a journal for each separate goal – one for working out, your career, your Deen, etc. This is a great approach to keeping yourself on track and building motivation to maintaining your goals and aspirations.

7. Give back

One of the best ways to cleanse your mind and soul, and to feel good about yourself is to help others and give back to the community. This is a great way to bring to light one of the main reasons behind why we fast: to understand and recognize that we have so much to be grateful for in our lives. When you are more aware of how privileged we are with all of the things Allah has blessed us with, we are less greedy, more calm and collected, and more patient in dealing with the struggles of life, along with the many other benefits of helping others. And personally, I also believe that giving back is one of the best ways to increase your success and gain more out of what you aspire towards.

8. Learn something new daily

Seeking knowledge is an integral part of Islamic teachings, and it would be unwise to not take advantage of this month as a time to secure a routine or habit of making an effort to learn more on a daily basis. Take out some time every day to watch or listen to a new lecture on Islam or any other beneficial topic, go to your local Masjid, have discussions with your fellow Muslim friends about different topics in Islam, read the Tafseer of the Quran, study Islamic history books, etc. Just do something to learn about your Deen and about other things that will benefit you in this life and in the Next.

9. Take time to meditate

It actually bothers me when people say that Salah is enough meditation for Muslims. It’s one of many ways we can meditate and find a center point. Take up yoga, go for a walk, go fishing, do something that is calming and takes you away from the stresses of every day life. Your faith is one thing, and taking care of your mental clarity and calm is another. They may overlap, but they are two very different things.

10. Stay close to positive friends

“You are the company you keep.” This is amongst the few phrases that holds true in every circumstance. Who and what you keep company with influences and impacts your own character, habits, and interests. Keeping yourself surrounded by those who are beneficial towards your growth as a person and as a Muslim is key to finding success in this life and the Next. It gives us the support, base of knowledge and structure, and all else we could gain from being around positive influences. Alhamdulillah, my best friend has always been by my side and it has helped immensely in shaping my character and faith.

11. BONUS: Look sharp

This is one of those things where my opinion takes lead and forces itself on to my tasks, making me go against the rules and add another tip to this list. Keep a strong image through your character, looking good while maintaining the halal and Sunnah, and staying clean and fresh are key components of what makes Islam and Muslims so amazing. Here’s the truth: because Islam is a way of life, Muslims represent it at every turn. While we are open to flaws and mistakes due to us being human, we are still capable of doing our best to look our best, holding character in our personalities and sense of style. So, take a second, read up on style, check out fashion houses and their artistic appeal, and create your own personal style (while sticking to the Sunnah as much as possible – constantly trying to grow in faith).

To Be Happy
To Be Happy 4000 1160 Nadir Keval

I believe that when we are born, we are all blessed with a natural disposition towards the pursuit of happiness. It is only due to the environments we are raised in that we end up losing that desire for it. Sure, many of us spend a good portion of our lives striving towards having a stable and secure income, the perfect spouse, that ideal family, enjoyment of all types of foods, and a body that would make Greek mythology seem reflective of the average physique. Is all of that possible? Of course it is, but it takes immense amounts of hard work, ambition, self-esteem, patience, and faith – things very few of us are willing to apply to our lives.

What we acquire in life, and how successful we are is often judged based on our bank balances, the size of our houses, the brands of our clothes, and the price tag of our cars. Notice how it’s all related to money? We have become slaves to the things we have created – paper with ink on it, which we claim to be of value because of some sort of signature on it that makes it unique. Money is the largest and longest running ad campaign in human history. We have been convinced and conditioned to make something so worthless into something considered priceless at times. How’s that? Consider being in a situation where law requires you to pay for anything you eat, and that the clerk selling you food must take money from you in order to make the transaction and avoid penalties.  Add to this the fact that you have not eaten for days and have no money with which to purchase food. Other than doing something that could result in you being punished by law, in some cases, to the point of death, you really have no choice but to move forward without nourishment. That mere dollar or two would thus become priceless to you because it is a matter of life and death. This example may seem a little farfetched, but sadly, it’s a truth to thousands of people around the world who live in impoverished places and have nothing to eat or drink. (We must put forth our utmost effort to help those in need, be it as close as home or in places where their basic necessities have become luxuries. I have chosen not to speak further on the importance of helping others in this article, as it takes away from the core of what I am trying to get across. I will, however, speak on the topic in the near future, as it is something I am very passionate and concerned with.)

Yet, look at those people, and you will find that they live out their lives, though often shortened by their unfortunate conditions, with happiness, contentment, and a sincere sense of peace in their hearts. They no longer have attachments to material gains, but rather, attach themselves to faith, family, and hope. We, however, live privileged lives. While others around the world are in conditions where their bare necessities are turned to luxuries, we are living with major luxuries being considered necessities – “Oh, you can’t do much unless you have a cell phone,” “I’m not going to buy those shoes! I want those [insert major brand name here]!” “But what am I supposed to do all day if the TV is out??” We are spoiled. We are pathetic.

Take a look at your life, and ask yourself how much of your time you spend being active? Is your faith the core of your lifestyle? Do you eat to nourish yourself, or to deal with emotions or addictions? Why are you still at your current job? Are you pursuing a passion in at least one component of your life? Ultimately, are you happy? Questions like these are ones that we must ask ourselves often to keep ourselves in check.

For years, I worried about the intangible things, like wealth, careers, food, etc. When I changed my mindset towards focusing around my faith, I found peace. That doesn’t in any way suggest that I don’t have struggles or issues of my own to deal with on a daily basis. That doesn’t mean that I am perfect and completely practice what I’ve written about here, without flaws or errors. What it means is that I no longer felt an attachment to things that I knew would pass. It also means that I am more satisfied and content with my life, and am more open and flexible when it comes to change. I used to think that things had to be done a certain way, and that without pursuing things in that same path, I would be guaranteeing myself a sense of failure and loss. But now, I live with fluidity and flexibility, and am able to adjust to situations with much more ease. I have my affections and attachments, but if they are lost from my life, I no longer feel the need to mope around or be depressed about it, Alhamdulillah.

Life is filled with expectations and norms, but that does not necessarily mean that it’s what best for you. Hold your own goals, work hard, and commit to your dreams and ambitions, but practice fluidity and flexibility through attachment to faith in order to transition smoothly through the turbulence of life. Find a passion, and make an effort to pursue what makes you happiest. Forget the rules of anything but morality and faith, and focus on pursuing happiness as a child without fear and full of imagination. And always, ALWAYS remember to give back and help others, because that is the fastest route to happiness and gaining more true success.

The Seed Of All Success
The Seed Of All Success 2560 1600 Nadir Keval

Find the right seed, take care of it, and you will see your dreams begin to blossom. – Nadir Keval

This mindset towards success is what helps me to continue moving forward in accomplishing my goals, despite the several setbacks that come my way. Throughout the years, I have tried time and time again to experiment and find the right seed in order to see results I sought, but it wasn’t until I recognized that seed to be faith that I actually saw and felt success.

Just as a seed sprouts the roots of a tree, which then grows to have its own branches, such does the impact of faith have on your life when you make it the seed of your success. Take into consideration the different aspects of your life, be it your career, your family, your health, your education, and any and everything else that makes you who you are. All of these components of your life can be connected directly to your faith, and if this is done, your intentions change, and thus, your focus becomes more clear and you are more determined to make your dreams a successful reality.

Let’s consider some of the different components of our lives:

  • Career – Build a career to fulfill your rights upon yourself by fulfilling your dreams and vision. Use it as a source through which you can provide for your family. To give yourself your rights and to provide for your family is an obligation upon almost every Muslim, and so, with this as your root purpose, you will gain reward in this life and the Next for all of the work and effort you put in towards your career.
  • Family – Taking care of your family, and building a safe haven of happiness and support is of immense importance if one wants to fulfill their obligation and responsibility towards their family, and if futures are hoped to be established successfully. This is a responsibility and obligation that Allah has placed upon all Muslims, and so, through giving our families their rights, we are able to gain Allah’s Support and Reward in this life and the Next.
  • Health – Our bodies are gifts from Allah, and just as we are responsible for providing ourselves with the mental and spiritual needs of life, we must also take care of ourselves with the right kinds and amounts of nourishment and fuel for our bodies, and with the right training and exercise to condition our bodies to be at the top of their potential. Take the responsibility of giving your body, mind, and spirit the rights it deserves and you will see that with this new mindset, you’ll be stronger, wiser, and more disciplined in the different experiences of life.
  • Education – We know that knowledge is power. But very few of us act on this, and aspire towards gaining this power that is so readily available to us, especially in the world we live in today. So, make a change and start acting on gaining an education, be it from getting a university or college degree, from reading books and self-teaching, through living life to the fullest and learning through experience and apprenticeship, or ideally, a combination of all three. Do this with the intention of fulfilling the command from Allah to gain knowledge, and through recognition of the fact that Islam is a religion for the people of understanding, as it is mentioned time and time again throughout the Quran. With this mindset, you will find joy and passion in seeking knowledge, and it will be a venue through which you will become more worldly and aware of how to face the daily challenges we all experience. And once again, you will gain the rewards of this life and the Hereafter through changing your intentions behind gaining an education and knowledge for the sake of Allah.

See how easy it is to look at it with faith as the seed of success? Though the examples I’ve mentioned above are reflective of the Islamic faith, it can be related to almost any faith. I chose to use Islam as an example because it is the faith I follow, and thus, the examples are relative to my own life. These examples act as the roots through which the tree of success is grown. Through that, you will find branches and flowers/fruits expand and become greater parts of what make you who you are. And just as God brings back to life the flowers and trees that die every year due to the harshness of the weather they experience, He brings back to life and rejuvenates the inspirations that sparked your aspirations in the first place. With God as the source of your seed’s nourishment and fuel, the possibilities of how successful you can be are endless.

Take a moment and reflect on the different components of your life that make it what it is. Look at what you work towards, what you aspire for, and what you stand for. Reshape your intentions in all aspects to reflect your faith, and watch how everything becomes more focused, clear, and “pure”. Live your life with your faith as the seed of every action, and experience rewards and success in this life and the Next. What more could we ask for, really? I pray that we all find that focus, clarity, and purity.

Ramadan 2013 – Reflections and Changes
Ramadan 2013 – Reflections and Changes 1920 1047 Nadir Keval

Ramadan last year was…different. To be honest, I don’t think there’s any other way to describe it. There was so much going on in my life, and it was all stuff that was overwhelming, stressful, and confusing. Looking back, it wasn’t a time of much clarity for me. I went through a dark time, and was quite unhappy, making it very difficult for me to focus on my faith. Through the help and support of friends, I was able to push myself towards moving forward from the things that ailed me, and found myself in a new place, where I recognized that I had the ability to achieve anything. It was as though life had thrown me to the wind, and instead of being blown away, I was left standing while the wind cleansed my life of the clutter and negativity. Alhamdulillah.

Throughout this last year, I have grown greatly, Alhamdulillah. I have been able to refine the things that I was always so passionate about, and through this process, I have found a new level of peace and clarity within my personal faith. I knew that there was a need for me to grow closer to God, and so I began working on my relationship with Him. It was difficult, and it made what would usually be considered easy and simple become overwhelmingly difficult.

Without going into details of my personal sins, I will share some of the points I grew to recognize as being the key aspects of what helped me find peace and happiness:

  • Be optimistic: It’s so easy to be pessimistic about things, and to expect the worst. It’s so easy to think that everything is just not going to work out, and expect people to always be out to get you, or to make it seem like there’s no point in trying harder to become better. What’s difficult is to be at peace with life, no matter what comes your way. That comes through being optimistic and recognizing that everything that happens in life is part of His Plan. Sure, it’s more difficult, but once you learn to trust Allah, this becomes the secret ingredient to happiness in life. I’ll be writing a separate article about this topic later this week, so be sure to stay tuned for that!
  • Seek progression, not perfection: Many of us get down on ourselves when we find that we’re struggling with living up to the expectations of trying to be perfect in what we do. Well, at least, that’s something I went through. Upon realizing that I shouldn’t worry about the results, and instead should just focus on trying to be the best I could be as possible, life became much more peaceful.
  • Understand that you’re human: We all make mistakes, and beating ourselves up about it won’t do us any good. Instead, recognize that you’re human and part of being human is going through ups and downs in almost every aspect of life. What matters is the next thing in this list…
  • Never give up: Life is a series of tests and struggles, in which we focus on trying to accomplish goals in order to survive and thrive. The problem with this can sometimes be that things don’t always go our way. When this happens, it’s of utmost importance that we refuse to give up and continuously strive towards accomplishing our goals. Roll with the punches, and make the most of what life brings your way, but be patient and relentless in making your dreams a reality.

This Ramadan, let’s take in all we can from the lessons we learned over the past year, set some new goals, and try to make some changes. As a method of following through with this initiative, I’m challenging all of you to do things this Ramadan that are your own personal ways of making a change, be it through praying more, reading Quran more often, going out and volunteering somewhere, helping someone, giving Da’wah, etc. During the month, take pictures, record videos, write blog posts, etc. and hashtag them with #nkmakeachange. Let’s inspire each other to build on helping people as much as we can, and share our experiences. Make the most of this Ramadan, insha Allah! I pray that Allah helps and guides all of us towards making positive changes during this month, and that He gives us the strength, discipline, passion, and commitment to carry on with our changes after Ramadan as well. Ameen!

When My Patience Wears Thin
When My Patience Wears Thin 1701 1129 Nadir Keval

We all go through times when our patience is tested. We’re pushed to the edge, either by others or through our own overthinking, and it’s at that point that we find our patience wears thin. When this happens to me, I become anxious, annoyed, and irritable. I begin to fall into a daze, where I find myself not caring about anything or anyone, and focusing solely on myself. Focusing on oneself isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it can be destructive if it isn’t balanced with giving back in some way or another. So, when I find myself in predicaments like these, I first turn to Allah. I pray two rakah (segments) of prayer, and supplicate while in prostration, asking Him to give me peace, calm, and serenity. It’s far too easy to fall prey to the stresses and hopes of this world, which can be scary and fatal, especially when it leads to us distancing ourselves from the hopes and aspirations of the Hereafter. Just the other, I was speaking to a friend about this. We discussed how in the past, during the time of the Prophet (SAW), he and his companions would have such a strong focus on their Hereafter, that this life was like a simple pit stop towards their ultimate goal of Paradise.

“Live in this world as a traveler or a stranger.” – Prophet Muhammad (SAW) [Bukhari and Tirmidhi]

This life we’re leading is something we should really consider as being a mere tool with which we can prepare ourselves for the Hereafter. That relates to so many matters of life, but to focus on the topic at hand, I’ll speak on how this relates to patience. We all live these rushed lives, trying to constantly get something done to fulfill our need for instant gratification. We become obsessed with how others are leading their lives, and feel the need to follow their examples without a moment’s consideration as to whether or not what they’re doing is right or wrong, beneficial or harmful. We live based on our desires and feel that we must embrace those desires in order to live well, forgetting that what makes us different from other creatures in this world is that we have been given the intellect to make sound judgments and moral decisions. These blessings make it possible for us to live within guidelines and boundaries we have set up based on morals and beliefs. What kind of a life are we leading if we focus on what is temporary instead of what is eternal and everlasting? That’s like accepting pennies when you could earn millions by putting in the same effort, but just readjusting your priorities. I know it’s much easier said than done, because we have been created to have emotions, desires, and wants, but everything must be maintained within reason and moderation. I believe in letting our imaginations soar, and to never accept anything less than the best, but what is beautiful about that is that a good portion of that is reliant upon Allah’s Wisdom and Decree. When we want something or strive towards achieving something, it’s important to remember that the results of our efforts are in the Hands of God, and that everything that happens to us is what is best for us, even if we don’t see it then. Reevaluate and readjust your priorities. Be content with what life throws your way, but never be satisfied with it, because there is always hope for more. There are no limits to how far we can go when we put our hearts and faith, and ambition and effort towards what we want. But, there are also times when what we want isn’t really what’s best for us, and so, we don’t get what we want, or are left to learn the hard way. Either way, what comes is for our benefit, and we just need to keep moving forward. I’ve done it, and so I’m sure any of you can. Sure, life has beaten me to the ground time and time again in the past, but I know that I will never face anything I can’t handle, and so, I get back up, regardless of how hard it is or how long it takes, and keep moving forward.

“Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity. It will have [the consequence of] what [good] it has gained, and it will bear [the consequence of] what [evil] it has earned.” – Quran (2:286)

Here are some tips based on what I’ve learned to do when my patience has been tested:

  • Take a break – This can be something as simple as putting down your phone, headphones, and everything else you may be carrying and just going for a walk – you, yourself, and God. Or, it can be something like taking a day or two off. Don’t worry, you’re not wasting time, or losing money (refer to the stupid saying, “Time is money.”). You’re recuperating. You’re recharging yourself so that you can be better, stronger, and more driven. You weren’t created to constantly be working. You were created to live a balanced life, so find balance, damnit!
  • Increase worship – Your connection with God is something that will change your complete outlook towards life. When a distance has grown between us and God, we begin to question everything with ignorance, and lose faith and hope that everything will be okay. Your relationship with God is your greatest weapon against insanity, so embrace it, develop it, nourish it, and thank God for being your greatest friend and supporter. Whenever you can, take a second and supplicate or pray, just to get that reconnect with God. Think about it: since having cell phones and social media, how many times do we talk to our friends in a day? God has been there all this time, and staying in touch with him doesn’t cost you a three-year contract and a monthly bill. In fact, HE rewards you when you keep up with Him. How awesome is that?!
  • Go fishing – Okay, so maybe you don’t HAVE to choose fishing as your activity, but do something that’s relaxing and doesn’t require much effort, but also gives you a chance to be productive and grow. I personally like fishing because it forces me to be patient. You spend a lot of time trying to catch something, and it really makes you have to be quiet and patient as you wait for the sudden and often subtle movements of the line to know if you’re getting a bite. Sometimes, that leads to catching something, and sometimes it doesn’t. When you do catch something, it’s a great sense of accomplishment, not because of a physical feat, but because you’ve overcome impatience and achieved something that has been done for centuries throughout history. When you don’t catch something, it’s an opportunity for building humility, because you’re reminded that not everything goes your way all the time, and that it was written for you today.
  • Take care of YOU – This can involve so many things from meditation, exercising, eating well, hanging out with close friends, etc. The main point is to remember that you have to take care of yourself in order for you to make the most of life and be as successful as possible. Life’s not running away from you. What’s written for you will be yours, and what isn’t, wont. BUT, what you have to do is make the most of every moment, which includes you working hard at some times and taking breaks at others, eating clean and healthy most of the time and indulging in your favourite treat sometimes, etc. And all of this is stuff you should do without feeling guilty. Don’t call it a cheat meal, call it a treat meal. Don’t call it a lazy Sunday, call it a recharge Sunday. Get what I’m saying?

When things get overwhelming and our patience with ourselves or with others begins to wear thin, I find that it’s often a signal our body is sending us to take a moment to ourselves and come back to our centre point. Don’t let patience become your enemy, but instead, consider it that friend that calls you out when you’re in need of some tough love. Take some time out to take care of you, and remember that it’s okay to put things off for a day (don’t make this a habit though – that’s how procrastination is born), as long as you maintain balance and come back with stronger ambition, passion, and drive. Now, go out there and patiently persevere and make your dreams a reality!

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