world

The Average
The Average 1920 1200 Nadir Keval

It’s no surprise that people today are at either end of the spectrum, extremely “normal” or extremely “abnormal”. What I mean by that is that if you look at the majority of the world, people spend most of their time living like robots, systematically designed to follow a particular path towards supposed success, while there are the other few, a smaller percentage of today’s population that are so far out there that they catch the attention of the public and are recognized for their “outlandish behavior” because they choose to pursue their own paths and want to be seen doing it.

Strike a Balance

To be more than average requires us to find a balance between the two extremes. To recognize that there are some aspects of life that require us to maintain submission or embracement of the rules and the norms, while also pursuing what pleases us and fulfills our passions, despite the expectations or opinions of others. I say others instead of society because we don’t often concern ourselves with society as a whole, but rather, concern ourselves with the “others” that surround us every day.  This balance isn’t one that is easy to come by because of the overwhelming temptation and pressure of succumbing to what is easier and more readily available and laid out for us to pursue. Why go through the forest without a map if a path has already been made, proven as being “correct”, and is what everybody else is taking to get to the proverbial “treasure chest”? Well, that brings me to my next point…

Be You

It sounds cliché, but it’s a reality that needs to be accepted and embraced by everyone. It’s definitely not easy to attain, but being yourself requires recognizing that there are some aspects of your life, including faith, societal laws, and a basic moral code that should abide by an understood and laid out plan to maintain humanity. Without those particular rules not only in existence but in practice as well, individuals and society as a whole would run amuck, with people harming, if not killing others out of sheer idiocy, ignorance, or personal agendas, or with people doing whatever they please without having to hold any accountability for their actions. Yet, these rules and guidelines should not define you in your entirety. You are an individual, which means you have traits that make you unique. That said, it is on you to make sure that you pursue those traits and make the most of them, because ultimately, we live in a self-serving society, and not many are willing to let others stand out if it means that they themselves will be left behind. This sounds cynical, but I believe it to be optimistic realism instead. The reason I say this is because it is human nature to do what is necessary to survive, and to survive in today’s world often compels people to push even those closest to them under the bus. Yet, there is hope, because by being yourself, you no longer have to worry about competing with others because you are too busy competing with your past self. When you focus on establishing your own identity, independent of the expectations or opinions of others, you become an elite in your category because you become your own category of personality. There is no one that will be able to completely emulate you, and although there will be attempts to do so, because you pursuing your own self-made identity is admirable, and thus desirable to those who follow rather than lead, no one will ever be you.

This leads to that question of why one would enter a forest without a map or path to follow, when it is proven path to success. Simply put, I would much rather enjoy the experience of running through the forest, making mistakes, getting lost and finding my way, tripping over branches, feeling the cracking of twigs and the mushing of moss below my feet, and hearing the gusts of the wind and the nature’s song through the chirps of birds, than to walk a dead, quiet, and boring path towards so-called success and happiness. Success and happiness are two things I believe to be relative and unique to each individual, so if we all follow the same path, what will be all that exciting about our ultimate “success” and “happiness”?

Push Beyond Limits

This is where you stand out most. I think I’ve made my point of the importance of doing things in your own way, while following base rules and guidelines on the aspects of life that structure our minds. But, that simply makes us different. What makes us stand out is our efforts and attempts to go above and beyond to do what it takes to be our best. That means that if you’re trying to become a painter, you do more than you did yesterday in an effort to strengthen your craft. If you want to become a doctor, lawyer, engineer, accountant, or anything else that requires a formal education, don’t just learn from what’s given to you. Go find books, fall in love with the library, volunteer at different places, and ultimately strengthen your knowledge in your field. THIS is what will make you stand out amongst the crowd. That said, if in this process, you compare yourself to others, you will always be left behind someone at some point. Rather, if you simply make your past self your only competition, you will pursue knowledge, application, and overall betterment for the sake of your love for it, and not for rankings in some tally of individuals unknowingly becoming robotic stats on a sheet.

Ultimately, my point is this: Strike a balance of following rules and guidelines with finding your own path towards your pursuits. Don’t let the expectations, opinions, or experiences of others pull or tempt you towards taking a certain path, but instead, make your own path. And finally, push beyond your limits and do what is necessary for you to reach the heights of success by being better than your past you. These are my steps towards success, and although the journey is bumpier, more dangerous, and takes longer, it has and will continue to leave me content and in love with life, insha Allah (God-willing).

Question: Seen enough of what the world has to offer. What do I do?
Question: Seen enough of what the world has to offer. What do I do? 1920 1080 Nadir Keval

Question:

Brother Nadir, I wanted to ask your perception on a certain idea. I feel that Allah has shown me enough of what this limited world has to offer. I don’t think the world can get any more badder from personal experience and observation of others life, and Allah has given us so much things to be grateful for, that it makes me feel guilty of even being a part of this world. Because surely I cannot return. So what would you do? Does it makes sense? :/

Answer:

Assalaamu alaikum,

Ramadan Mubarak!

I think I understand what you’re asking, and there are a few points that cross my mind. Your message sparked many thoughts into my mind, the strongest of which was that if you feel that Allah has shown you enough, then make an effort and make dua. If you feel that He has shown you enough good, ask for more. If you feel that He has shown you enough bad, ask for less, ask for strength and guidance, and ask Him to make you grateful. Also, because you have not yet seen what the future has to hold, you don’t really know what is out there.

Look at it this way: as a child, you would look at up the kitchen countertop and wonder what it would be like to see the top of the counter. You would ask your parents to show it to you, so they would lift you up to see, and you would be grateful. Eventually, you grew up, and that countertop was easily accessible to you, so you forgot about how great it was when you got to see it as a child. It became a norm, a thing of no significance. Still, you would go walking in downtown and would see tall buildings, wondering what was in them. Then, you grow up, get a job, and are working in a tall building as well. Eventually, going to work and being in that building would become a norm and routine for you, and if you didn’t enjoy your job, you may even dread going to that tall building you once dreamt about. So, you would begin to wonder what it would be like to be on the top floor of the building, to live life as the boss. So, you’d work hard and eventually would reach the top of the building. There, you would face the challenges of running a business, the responsibilities of leading a balanced life, and trying to continue to build the business. It will have its days of being overwhelming and difficult, and if you were to let those things get to you, you’d begin to dread being the boss, and would hate being at the top of the building, dreaming of going back to your old job as a worker in the middle of the tall building. You may then even tell yourself that you’ve had enough of this life and that want to die. Then, eventually, when it is written for you, you pass away. As you lay in the grave, your soul being asked its questions, you will wish you were alive again, so that you could be grateful for all that Allah gave you. You would wish you were at the top of the building again, so you could take the opportunity to help as many people as you could because you had been blessed with so much. You would try to make life easier for the people that worked below you, because you were once in their position and know what kinds of things would benefit them. Then, you would realize how blessed you were as that teen, where Allah gave you the resources, support, and guidance to do well in your pursuits and get a job in a tall building as you had once dreamed. And you would be thankful to Allah for giving you that sense of curiousity and ambition as a child that lead to you want to always see more. But alas, you will find yourself laying in the grave, no chance of going back to ask Allah for forgiveness or to show Him your gratitude for all that He blessed you with.

So, consider some lessons from this story:

  • There is always more that we have left to see in this world, and there will never come a time when things will be perfect. Instead of being sad over the fact that you feel the world can’t get any worse in your personal life or around the world, step out of sadness and step up into action and start making changes to help yourself and others lead better lives. Don’t be amongst those who complain and fall into depressed solitude when facing struggle. Instead, be amongst those who recognize that Allah has promised us that “Allah does not change the condition of a people until they change that which is within themselves.” (Quran 13:11) Make a change in your own life, and then work towards helping others do the same, while being kind, understanding, and patient.
  • No matter how far you get in life, always look back at how things once were and find lessons and reminders to keep you on track and grateful.
  • Always thank Allah and ask Him for forgiveness, because there is no limit to how much we have to be grateful for, and there is no knowing how much we need to seek forgiveness for.
  • If you are unsatisfied with how things are in life, always remember to make dua and to ask Allah for guidance and help. He is capable of all things, so don’t hesitate and don’t be ashamed to ask Him when you’re down or scattered in thought.
  • Our purpose in life is to worship Allah. This is to be done through prayer and supplication, as well as through our careers, seeking knowledge, building relationships, being a part of charitable pursuits, and more. We don’t know how long it will take for us to fulfill our individual roles in this purpose (i.e. we don’t know long we’re meant to live), but it is on us to take advantage of the time we have been given to fulfill our purpose to the best of our abilities until ALLAH sees fit that we no longer continue. And when that will be is not in our knowledge, so it’s always best to not dwell on that, and to instead, place our focus on worshiping Allah through everything we do.

Also, there is no need for you to feel guilty for what Allah has blessed you with. You wouldn’t have it if you weren’t worthy of it. But, what matters now is how you pass this test…will you be grateful, or will you ignore the blessing of Allah has given you?

Ultimately, our lives are gifts from Allah and it’s on us to make the most of life. If you feel as though Allah has shown you enough good, then spend the rest of the time Allah has given you in this life showing Him gratitude by worshiping Him, thanking Him, and striving to live for the sake of goodness of humanity through following the example of the Prophet (SAW). If you feel as though Allah has shown you enough bad in this life, stop being sad about it and make a change towards growth and betterment. Complaining or feeling bad about it won’t make things better. Taking action will.

Allah knows best.

I pray that Allah guides all of us towards being more grateful, patient, and driven, and that this message reaches you in the best of health and Imaan (faith). Take care.

Wassalaamu alaikum,

Nadir Keval (www.nadirkeval.com)

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