They tell me I should keep myself busy.
I don’t want to run from my troubles. I don’t want to have to hate myself for having thoughts, emotions, or opinions. I don’t want to have to believe that by relaxing, I am wasting time. I don’t want to believe that I need to follow societal rules and expectations to be “normal” or “accepted” to succeed. I don’t want to throw away my freedom to be imaginative and creative, just so that I can have a “secure” lifestyle.
I don’t want any of that.
What I want is to just live.
To face my troubles and embrace my thoughts, emotions, and opinions. I want to love to relax because it helps me to focus in on and enjoy my goals and aspirations. I want to follow morality and sincerity, and be my own person. I want to let my mind and heart take flight together, and focus more on my happiness than on paying bills – as long as I work hard at what I love, God will take care of me. Why? Because we have been created to live – not to survive, but to thrive; not to constantly be keeping “busy”, but to live a balanced life; not to worry about the judgments of others when making our decisions, but to worry about our own happiness and the Judgment of the One.
They can go on and keep themselves busy.
I, in the meantime, will live.