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Nadir Keval

Poem: Eternal Effort
Poem: Eternal Effort 1024 819 Nadir Keval

To be honest,
I thank Allah every day
and wonder how a woman as stunning as her could love me.
Still, I am thankful.
Thankful for Allah placing a love for her in my heart,
because this love makes me want to be more grateful,
and better overall,
as a Muslim and a man,
just to try to make it up to Allah for placing her in my heart.

If she were to stop loving me, I would still be thankful…
If she were to forget me, I would still be thankful…
If she were to leave me, I would still be thankful…
only because having the chance to have spent
even one moment in her heart
is enough to keep me happy in this life and the Next.

But, I believe, without a doubt,
that my fate will be better,
as I mention her in every prayer,
pray for her,
and for her.
I ask that Allah gives me two lifetimes with her,
because this life would not be enough,
but an eternal Hereafter in Jannah will do,
as enough time for me to show Him my gratitude
for her and all that she has brought and will bring.

I await patiently for the arrival
to the answer to my prayers,
so that I may be forever grateful.
Her return will be a gift from Him,
my very own miracle,
when she no longer remains only in my every dream and every thought,
but becomes the wife I’ve wanted for so long, to love and to hold.

Copyright © Nadir Keval

Poem: Brush Strokes
Poem: Brush Strokes 2904 1936 Nadir Keval

Brush strokes
smear the paint of moments across the canvas of life.
Every strike begins full and slowly dissipates,
as it grows weak and loses its color.
Towards the end, every brush is left light.
The weight of the moment has left it and become one with the canvas.

Dipped again into the mounds of vibrance,
hoping for another opportunity,
another lift in confidence;
the artist looks down at the palette,
and sees that no matter the options of colors,
only one works.

Lifting the brush to the canvas takes a toll in itself.
Holding all the tools in hand,
the artist still fears the color might not be right.
What if this color ruins the painting?
What if this choice ruins my life?
Every color and every stroke
a step towards finding what one sought.

Ah, but in the question lies the answer.
The beauty of color is that it molds and changes.
It adjusts to its surroundings,
creating a newfound vision
the artist had never imagined.
Despite the overwhelming doubt,
the color worked.

Stumbling upon an epiphany,
the artist found strength.
Now, it was understood.
The paint and the brush may have been in hand,
but the painting’s destiny lay in the future.
The artist’s vision may have been one,
but the final image was in the Hands of Another.

Copyright © Nadir Keval

“Am I Doing Enough?”
“Am I Doing Enough?” 1280 800 Nadir Keval

This weekend was quite the experience, to say the least.

Over the last month and a half or so, since around the beginning of Ramadan, I’ve been making a lot of dua (supplication) for pretty much everything important to me, including the things I’m hoping to accomplish with my life and Aakhirah, and making dua for those I love, from here in Vancouver, to Texas, all the way to Madinah. Alhamdulillah (Praise be to Allah), I began to notice a lot of these supplications being answered, as I would see people that were struggling with some major steps and phases in their lives overcome these difficulties and find peace. In fact, just the other day, a dua that I had not even said out loud, but was merely a whisper from my heart to my soul, was accepted, Alhamdulillah! It was an incredible feeling!

Then, these last few days, I began to really plummet with my own faith, and began to stress out. I began to worry about things that I never worried about before because I had recognized that I could only do my best towards them and then leave them to Allah. All this time, I believed that “my best” meant to merely make dua and keep up with the basic essentials of Islamic obligations, such as Salah (prayer), Dua, and maintaining a decent level of good character.

Boy, was I wrong.

You know how sometimes, no matter how much you know something and its value, you don’t recognize it until you have somewhat of an epiphany and are completely taken aback with it? Yeah, that was me and my deen this weekend.

On Saturday, I was practically knocked out, metaphorically speaking. And, alhamdulillah for that. I realized that I wasn’t really applying everything I knew I could in regards to my Deen (religion). I realized that my Imaan (faith) had been very weak recently, which was making me stress over trivial things. So, I took the rest of the weekend, whenever I had some time away from family or work obligations, to reflect and really think about what I’ve been doing, and how I can do more, so that Allah would grant me what I’m seeking, would answer my dua, and would enter me into Jannah with ease one day, insha Allah (God-willing). I recognized some lifestyle changes I could/should make, and started to apply them, and alhamdulillah, it’s been going well so far. My taqwa (roughly translated as a deep and complete awareness of Allah) was weak, and that needed to change. I remembered how my close friend and cousin would often tell me, “If you’re not willing to do whatever it takes to make a change or to get what you want, then you really don’t want that thing or that change as much as you say you do. So, evaluate your sincerity, strengthen it, and then bolt towards taking the steps needed to get what you want.” (That was paraphrased to reflect the lesson I learned from it.) Then, I remembered this verse, and it all came together:

And whoever fears Allah – He will make for him a way out. And will provide for him from where he does not expect. And whoever relies upon Allah – then He is sufficient for him. Indeed, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Allah has already set for everything a (decreed) extent. – Quran (65: 2-3)

That changed everything for me. I realized that if I wanted the marriage, the career success, the academic success, and the health and fitness condition, that I’ve been seeking, I’d have to work harder. But much more importantly, if I wanted any of those things, alongside even the slightest chance at an entrance into Heaven, I’d have to push myself towards being a better Muslim. We take for granted the ONE CHANCE Allah has given us to do right by Him and to prove to Him that we deserve Jannah (Paradise/Heaven). We act as if we have an eternity to earn that key into Jannah, when in truth, none of us know if we’ll even last for another minute, let alone another 20-30 years. When opportunities come our way, when we feel inspired, or if we have a chance to change our lives, we should jump at those opportunities. We should take the leap (as discussed in a previous post – Find Your SELF!) and trust in Allah, on the condition that our intentions are sincere. He will show us the way. I can say that with confidence not only because of the truth of Islam, but I can say that because I just experienced it, Alhamdulillah, as you can see.

Many of us fear the future because we have no concrete control over it, and we fear pain, hurt, difficulty, and struggle. But, we should recognize that the future is in the care of the Almighty, Most Compassionate, and Loving, Allah. He gives us opportunities for a reason: to bless us and to test our faith in Him. Opportunities lie in both good and not-so-great times. If you go through a struggle, be thankful to Allah, because He is testing you with an opportunity to prove to Him that you have faith in Him and rely on Him. If you go through an experience of success, be thankful to Allah because He is testing you with an opportunity to prove to Him that you have faith in Him and rely on Him. Both situations result in similar tests. Think about that.

Ultimately, my lesson was that success and the answers to our prayers will ONLY come when we submit completely to Him, and when we put our acts of worship above everything else. EVERYTHING we do in life is an act of worship if done with the right intentions, and as long as it’s halal (permissible).

Reevaluate your lives, my friends. Run them through the filter of Islam. Build a love for Jannah and a hatred towards Jahannam (Hell). And ask yourselves: “Am I doing enough to get into Jannah?”

Poem: “I Have Been Given Her Love”
Poem: “I Have Been Given Her Love” 1600 1200 Nadir Keval

As long as the sun shines, I will love you.
As long as there is air, I will love you.
As long as the flowers bloom, I will love you.

And if ever those things are lost,
I will remain strong, and put my trust in God.
As He will guide me, and give me strength,
to see that you are one He has sent me to uplift my faith.

When my hope begins to stagger,
He shows me a sign.
When my faith begins to weaken,
He sends me a reminder.

And with you, I have asked Him to make things clear…
To remove you from my heart, if I am not meant to hold you dear.
But, as I ponder, as I pray,
for a love,
I remember in my prayers
asking for a wife that’ll please my Most Beloved.
I ask for a Khadijah or an Aisha,
And I beg Him to make me like Muhammad (SAW) or one of the Sahabah.
I ask Him to guide me, to make me worthy of this answer.
And when I close my eyes, dream or think,
I feel inclined,
To remember the words of the Prophet (SAW) when his Khadijah came to mind:
“This is something from Allah; I have been given her love.”
And when I ask my faith and heart about you, I hear these same words.

I will make you my sun, my air, and my flowers,
For whatever I gain from them will be nothing, unless it is ours.
We will be one, God-willing, some day.
We will be together in Heaven, God-willing, some day.
To you, I will continue to strive in my sincere and loving devotion,
as I believe you have been etched into my heart and fate by the Master of creation.

Copyright © Nadir Keval

Find Your SELF!
Find Your SELF! 1094 723 Nadir Keval

No, that’s not a typo.

I was discussing the concept of self-identity with a close friend this morning, and it got me thinking about how so many of us are stuck in this whirlwind of personalities, but are never fully focused on ourselves. See, we live our lives with the expectations of others being at the forefront of our minds. Well, not all of us do that, but many do, from what I’ve seen. That can be really detrimental to our self-confidence and self-worth. It’s important to know who you are. I’m sure we’ve all heard it before, about how someone goes to college or travels the world to “find themselves”? Well, those can be expensive options! There are other ways to truly journey the path to finding yourself and figuring out who you want to be and what you want to do with your life, without having to invest thousands, or even hundreds of dollars! Shoot, this probably won’t cost you a cent!

Alright, so there are a few steps that I’ve broken down as the process to finding yourself:

Step 1: Lose Yourself

You’re probably thinking, “Umm..what?! Isn’t that the opposite of what I want??” Well, hear me out. When I say, “Lose yourself,” I’m suggesting that you detach yourself from everything that you are doing or thinking right now. Detach yourself from all of your expectations, and hold strong to nothing except for your faith. Always let your faith be your priority and guiding light.

Step 2: Ask Yourself…

Ask yourself some simple questions to identify what is important in your life. Write these down, if you’d like (I’d recommend it).

  • What are the different components of my life?
  • What impact do I want to make on the world?
  • What kind of person do I want to remembered as?
  • Most importantly, where do I want to go after I die (i.e. Heaven of Hell)?

Asking yourself these questions will not be easy. If you seriously think about them, by digging into the depths of your heart and soul, you’ll find that there is a lot about you that you didn’t know. After you have answered these questions, ask yourself what it is that inclines you towards those answers, and then revise your answers. Your answers may change or may stay the same. But, it’s smart to double-check.

Step 3: Lay Things Out

After you’ve asked yourself the above questions, set up a basic layout of the components of your life. Then, for each component, write down short-term and long-term goals.

Example (I’ve only included details for a couple of the components, to give you an idea):

Components and Goals (Short-Term and Long-Term)

  • Faith
    • (ST) Ensure that I pray every Salah as soon as the Adhan is called (i.e. don’t procrastinate for any reason)
    • (ST) Read one hizb of Quran after every Salah
    • (ST) Read something new about Islam every day, and apply it to my life
    • (LT) Memorize Surah Al-Baqarah
    • (LT) Complete recitation of Quran
    • (LT) Write notes on Tafseer of Quran
  • Family
    • (ST) Spend at least an hour with the family every day without any interruptions from work or friends
    • (ST) Spend more time with my baby sister
    • (LT) Take my sisters out once every 1-2 weeks
    • (LT) Go on family vacation once a year
  • Health
  • Career
  • Seeking Knowledge
  • Community

Step 4: Implementation

You’ve lost yourself, you’ve revised the things that make you who you are and who you want to be, and you’ve set some short-term and long-term goals. Now, it’s time to write out HOW you’re going to reach those goals. So, for example, for my goal to pray once the Adhan is made, I’ve decided to set alarms on my cell phone for Salah times.

A reality that we often don’t recognize is that these reminders and things like that aren’t enough. Without the determination and desire to get up and pray, the alarm will be no more than a sound. So, you have to ask yourself how badly you want to make this change and reach your goal, and must then remind yourself of that every time your alarm rings. If you don’t want it enough, but know that it’s a goal you’d ultimately want, then push yourself to want it more. Push forward, push hard. Keep striving towards these goals.

“Wait…I haven’t found myself yet…”

Patience, young jedi. No, seriously, it really is a matter of patience. No true, long-term growth comes with short-term efforts. As you take these steps, and work hard towards constantly revising and building on these goals, you will begin to discover yourself.

Here’s a little secret I’ll share with you, though: You will never completely find yourself.

The reason is a good one, so don’t panic. I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “Life is a journey.” Consider that saying and recognize that you will continue your life finding yourself and learning new things about yourself, because you will always be changing and growing. If ever you find yourself believing that you’ve found yourself, lose yourself again, because you probably miscalculated a step in your journey.

Life is filled with ups and downs, and often, you will find yourself afraid or unsure of decisions or steps. But, THAT is when you must take a leap of faith. Seriously! JUMP! Have faith that God will give you the wings to fly. I say this ALL the time, solely because one of the greatest lessons AND challenges I’ve faced in my life has been to realize that I can’t worry about the future. All I can do is work towards it today, and trust that God will show me the rest of the way. Yeah, that rhymed.

As you strive towards finding yourself, and you take that leap of faith, you may worry that you’re leaping towards something that isn’t good for you. When those thoughts come to mind, STOP. Think back to the first thing I said to do in this process. What was left behind when you lost yourself? Your faith. So, have faith as you take your leap, and know that God will guide you towards whatever is best for you. What’s “best” for you doesn’t necessarily include what you want, but instead, includes what you NEED.

Are you working towards a career, but don’t know if it’s right for you? Take the leap, and God will incline you towards the career that’s really best for you (which could be what you always wanted, or something else that you had never even thought of).

Wanting to get married, but are unsure about the person being right for you even though they make you happy and hold all the things you’re looking for in a spouse? Take the leap, and God will lead you towards that person or someone better. And if He leads you to a person, and that marriage leads to divorce, RECOGNIZE that God knew you needed that divorce as part of your path towards reaching your greatest potential.

Struggling with a major step in your life, like moving to a new place that you love and feel would be better for you, but are afraid of hardships that could arise from it? Take the leap, and watch how God protects you and guides you towards what truly is best for you.

But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not. – Quran (2:216)

It’s all part of His Plan. We may like some things, and dislikes others, but in truth, we should find peace in accepting that He is the Most Wise and the Most Compassionate, and that He will never lead us astray as long as we hold strong to Him.

And, holding strong to Him is the most important key to finding your self.

Poem: In Her Heart
Poem: In Her Heart 1280 1024 Nadir Keval

I wish I could peek into her heart to see what she is feeling, and to embrace her every smile and her every struggle, as though it were my own, only so that we may become stronger as we become one entity, two beings, one immensely strong heart.

Poem: Reasons for Love
Poem: Reasons for Love 1024 768 Nadir Keval

Where there is love, there is her name.
Where there is peace, there is her heart.
Where there is happiness, there is her smile.
Where there is hope, there is her spirit.
Where there is awe, there is her soul.
Where there is confusion, there is her fight.
Where there is conviction, there is her faith.

All that she is and all that I am is because of Him.
He has put us through success together, and through sin.
He has shown us our hopes for happiness,
He has shown us our faith through doubtfulness.
He has covered us when Shaitaan has attacked us,
and has sometimes let us fight, so that we may reflect on “us”.
He has put us through ups and downs,
He has given us reasons to smile and frown.

Through all this, He has given us…
Opportunities to run back to Him,
Weapons for when we’d let Shaitaan in,
Guidance if we really sought it,
Peace, unless we fought it.
Being patient and having certainty has been our focus,
but sometimes we get jaded because of those around us.
Let us have faith, and take our leap,
and trust that He will give us wings to fly together to our peace.

When her name is there, it is because of Him.
When her heart is there, it is because of Him.
When her smile is there, it is because of Him.
When her spirit is there, it is because of Him.
When her soul is there, it is because of Him.
When her fight is there, it is because of Him.
When her faith is there, it is because of Him.

And when my love is there, it is because of Him.

Poem: I want to marry her…
Poem: I want to marry her… 1920 1200 Nadir Keval

I want to marry her so that I may enter Paradise with her.

I want to marry her so we can grow together into the best we can be as individuals and as Muslims.

I want to marry her because I believe she will be a phenomenal mother, insha Allah.

I want to marry her so I can prove to Allah and to her, every day, that I am worthy of her as my blessing.

I want to marry her so that we can be covers for one another against the trials of this world.

I may sound selfish, but what can I say,

Marrying her will cause all of my sorrows to stray.

And what do we seek in this life,

other than happiness and a relief from strife.

So, I know that she will bring my life joy,

And with every moment together, Shaitaan’s efforts against us will be destroyed.

Oh Allah, please make her my wife and I her husband,

so that we may please You and through that, please each other.

Ameen.

Might have gone a lil too far…
Might have gone a lil too far… 1698 1131 Nadir Keval

So, when I was in high school, I was nicknamed BFG (Big Friendly Giant). Over the years, I continued getting similar nicknames, and eventually, I just adjusted to it, and figured that I must be a pretty big guy in the eyes of others. When I walk around and see others, it’s honestly really rare for me to notice the height or size difference. I guess I’ve gotten used to it, and it’s not noticeable to me anymore. That was the case, until I was looking through some old pictures and saw a picture of me standing beside my dad, looking like I was Sasquatch and he was the tourist  taking a picture with the beast. Not a good feeling. As time progressed, I began to fall into somewhat of a self-diagnosed, self-imposed, nonchalant depression. What’s that mean? Well, I was so down on myself at how big I had gotten (we’re talking weight here now, not height), that I stopped caring and just stopped taking care of myself. That led to more weight gain, and it just completely knocked me out. Eventually, I had gained about 65 lbs, and was so overweight, I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror, and became ashamed to be in pictures with people. Yeah. It was bad.

Anyways, to avoid making this sound like some sob story of me seeking out attention, I’ll get to the point. I had had enough of this nonsense, and wanted to make a change. So, a few months ago, I began to watch what I ate, as I had learned over the years that what you eat is 70-80% of the formula for weight loss (that number changes from person to person, ’cause everyone’s an expert once they start dieting, so I just went for a ballpark figure). I’m not one for tracking things, because if something becomes tedious, I get bored and annoyed, and thus, stop bothering with it. So, I just made sure that before eating something, I took into account whether or not it was me eating out of sincere hunger, or out of the desire to merely eat because I could.

My dietary choices weren’t all that bad in the first place, so eating the right foods wasn’t as much of a challenge as was eating at the right times and for the right reasons. You’ll probably see a lot of pictures posted by me on here or on my instagram (nadirkeval) of food, so you’ll see that I like to eat haha. THAT won’t change. I decided to continue to eat, but to savour my food, and to be cautious of the times and reasons for my eating. I allow myself to do so, on the condition that I exercise to balance it out. In trying to lose weight, I try to limit my food to what’s necessary, and focus on proteins, fibre, and good fats and carbs. Insha Allah, this sticks.

As for my exercise plans, I will be going full throttle in the coming week, and will begin my regimen to shred weight, and gain and tone muscle in the most beneficial and quickest way (while maintaining healthy steps to achieve these goals). A friend of mine gave me his copy of the Insanity Workout, and a cousin gave me his workout from when he pursued a similar goal to mine. These are the two workout regimens I will be using, insha Allah, as well as the basic body weight exercises for the days I will be fasting.

My ideal shape:

I’m not putting a timeline on reaching this goal (obviously, it will be this, customized to my body type), but I refuse to quit until I get to this point, insha Allah. If it takes 1 year or it takes 5 years, I won’t quit, insha Allah!

So, those are my plans, those are my goals, and insha Allah, I will be keeping you all up to date at least once a week with my progress. I will post updates at the top of each of my updates that look like this:

As of August 30th, 2012…

Weight lost:

Body fat decrease:

Updated: August 30th, 2012

I hope you guys can join me on my journey, and if any of you have some beneficial and positive tips, comments, etc., please let me know! Looking forward to making this dream a reality, insha Allah! 😀

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