Faith

Ever had that feeling, like the weight of the entire world is on your shoulders, for every individual decision and task in front of you?

It’s overwhelming, frustrating, and often easier to just push aside. I know, because I feel it almost every day. With working on building my career and dreams, trying to stay on the ball with my deen, maintaining a healthy lifestyle of working out and eating right, fulfilling my commitments and responsibilities towards my family, fighting my own personal struggles, and still trying to find a little time to myself, overwhelming is a part of my default condition. But, to that, I still say Alhamdulillah, because there are so many people in the world that have it worse than I do, and whatever struggles I face are ones that Allah has guaranteed to be a method of purification and expiation of sins.

Narrated Abu Sa’id Al-Khudri and Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, “No fatigue, nor disease, nor sorrow, nor sadness, nor hurt, nor distress befalls a Muslim, even if it were the prick he receives from a thorn, but that Allah expiates some of his sins for that.”

That’s an amazing blessing and definitely eases the heart! Alhamdulillah! But, it doesn’t solve the matter of being overwhelmed. Often, fear of failure, or the possible resulting stress from tackling our issues, holds us back from moving forward. I’ve personally found that these fears then lead many to push aside dealing with something that’s on their minds, in hopes that it will pass on its own, or that it’ll fade in its importance to a person over time. Of all the times I have seen people do this, not once have I seen things pass or fade over time. Instead, the opposite happens and emotions, thoughts, and that weight I mentioned earlier, start to push down on a person’s mind and heart. Eventually, it becomes too much, and the weight becomes even more overwhelming than before. Obviously, that’s the opposite of what we want to see. We want to overcome our struggles. We want to control and remove our feelings of being overwhelmed.

The best solution I’ve found to overcoming this feeling is:

1. Step away from everything for a moment and clear your mind
2. Pray Salatul-Isthikhaarah
3. Figure out the pros and cons of the decision you are facing (do this for each matter individually)
4. Do your research about the matter – whether you’re deciding on a school to go to, on a career to pursue, on a person to marry, on what you should cook for the family dinner, etc. – whatever it is, do your research and ask around if needed (getting a second opinion or some advice isn’t a bad idea either)
5. Clear your mind again, and make dua asking Allah to guide you
6. Ask your heart what it’s more inclined to, and make a decision towards that

It sounds simple. That’s because it is. When facing something that’s overwhelming, the best thing to do is to break it down to its basic components. This way, you get a fresh start and an opportunity to really think things through clearly, without all the muddy waters of the experiences you’ve faced as you came to your overwhelming position.

Making dua is something that I want to really put emphasis on because it truly is the core of our success. Remembering Allah in our daily lives, seeking repentance, and having complete and clear certainty, optimism, and clarity in Allah answering your dua are all keys to finding success and reducing the stress we so often become overwhelmed with.

To feel overwhelmed is normal and happens more often than we’d like. It’s inevitable. But, with matters like this, that are inevitable, I believe it’s important to find a strength and balance through achieving control in our situations. Control often implies a restriction in something, but in this case, it means to be at peace with your life, to work your hardest towards your goals, and to, all the while, be content with Allah’s plans for you.

Remember, anything is possible. All that’s needed is faith, dedication, commitment, hard work, and patience.

I’m not sure if any of you have noticed this, but I certainly have: people gossiping, backbiting and slandering others, as though they have the right to judge them. It’s a sad reality, and is very scary, especially when I see Muslims doing it despite the warnings given in Islam about it.

A friend of mine posted this reminder, which I just so happened to see after I had become infuriated and annoyed by someone gossiping and being judgmental of others:

Prophet Muhammad (SAW) said, “Do you know what backbiting is?” They said, “Allah and His Messenger know best.” He (SAW) then said, “It is to say something about your brother that he would dislike.” Someone asked him, “But what if what I say is true?” The Messenger of Allah (SAW) replied, “If what you say about him is true, you are backbiting him, but if it is not true then you have slandered him.” (Muslim)

This gives you a basic idea of what backbiting and slandering entails. If we take a moment to reflect, we’ll find that we do things like this so often without realizing it. It’s definitely a wake up call towards seeking repentance and making changes. This isn’t merely a reminder to Muslims, but a reminder to all people that we should be more aware of our words, so as to ensure that we are not doing things like this.

It’s just something to talk about.

The ingredients needed to create this habit within ourselves is startling to say the least. It opens our eyes to recognize how much we need to work on to become better people, if not for ourselves and our own Hereafters, then at least for our children and the generations to come after them. When we gossip, we are often saying something out of arrogance (“He went ahead and married some insert different race/culture/nationality here girl! What a disgrace!”), jealousy (“She thinks she’s all that with her degree and job. Ugh! So full of herself!”), or sometimes just sheer ignorance (“Why should she take care of his son from a past marriage? It’s not hers, so it’s not her responsibility!”). Arrogance, jealousy, and ignorance; three traits that are considered amongst the worst characteristics by Islamic standards, and in civilized society altogether. Yet, these are also perhaps the most rampantly flooding traits in people today. It’s human, yes; we all fall into these things every once in a while, but I felt it important to share the reminder with all of you, as being reminded opened my eyes again as well.

What’s the harm?

“O you who have believed, avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin. And do not spy or backbite each other. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his brother when dead? You would detest it. And fear Allah; indeed, Allah is Accepting of repentance and Merciful.” – Quran (49:12)

Take a second, close your eyes, and picture that. It’s a horrific thought. Allah makes it clear in the Quran that these actions are equivalent to eating the flesh of your dead brother! So, why do we do these things?

Often, we need some form of rectification for our actions or thoughts, and feel that putting down someone else will take the spotlight off of us. Sometimes, we just seem to need something to talk about, and so we indulge in idle talk like this. And sometimes, we just feel that the only way to gain acceptance is to collectively bash someone else.

Judgement is something that can only be valid when expressed by someone that has reached the state of perfection. And the ONLY One that is perfect is Allah, and so, judgment lies with Allah, Alone.

There’s nothing more to it. We are all full of sin. We are all forgetful of what is right and what is wrong. We constantly go through a roller-coaster of  faith and morality. It’s human. It’s how Allah has created us. But, what He has also given us is intellect and the ability to make conscious choices. Having the ability to do something doesn’t validate doing it. The extremity of the examples to be given with this are high, as we can relate back to the verse, and express how just as we may be able to eat the flesh of our dead brothers, it doesn’t make it acceptable for us to actually do it. In the same way, to judge, backbite, slander, and gossip are abilities we all have, but that does NOT validate them.

How To Make A Change

“Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change that which is within themselves.” – Quran (13:11)

We are living in a world where what is immoral, unethical, disrespectful, and ignorant is considered normal. To act otherwise is found to be backwards, barbaric, and just plain unheard of. The above verse holds so much weight, because we must realize our mistakes and change as individuals so as to see not only our personal conditions become better, but to see society as a whole change for the better as well. Good is contagious. If we stand as individual examples, goodness will begin to rub off on those around us, and the benefits will quickly flow and reveal themselves.

During this process of bettering ourselves, if we find others not making changes as quickly as we did, or not making any changes at all for that matter, then we should be careful as to not fall into judgment or slandering again. Too often, when we get excited about an idea, we begin to rush towards it, and after sharing our epiphanies with others, expect them to feel the same rush of ambition towards that change. That isn’t always the case. All people take their own time to learn their own individual lessons. When the time is right, those lessons help them take their steps towards new phases of life. When you are struggling to accept someone else’s lack of ambition compared to yours, ask yourself how you would feel if someone tried to force you to make a change you just weren’t ready for yet. Do your part, and remind them of it once. After that, leave it aside, and make dua for them. They heard you. Allah just has to give them your message when the time is best for them. And only He knows when that is.

As for habits of gossip, backbiting, and slandering, approach them just as you would any other habit you hope to change. Watch yourself as you face the day, and try to catch yourself if you feel you might be saying or doing something wrong. If that leaves you silent throughout most of the day, then so be it. That only allows you the opportunity to remove the negative from your speech, so you have more space to fill it with positive speech, or even silence (which is sometimes even better than words).

Look at it this way: Why carry a basket of 1 good apple and 19 rotten apples? The rotten ones will make the good one rot. Instead, carry only good apples, even if they are few. This way, you may have less in quantity, but the apples you carry won’t rot.

Look at your thoughts and speech in the same way. Remove the negative thoughts and words, and replace them with positive ones. An ounce of negativity could spoil a ton of positivity. If you’re still left with space in your thoughts or speech, add more positivity, or just leave it open and free, as this will allow the opportunity for meditation, pondering, and more beneficial things (in moderation).

All in all, change is possible. Making changes in matters like these are crucial to a person’s well-being in this life and the Next, and are helpful in developing better habits and better futures. May Allah help us all in changing ourselves for the better, so that our conditions may change in the same way. Our Ummah needs it. Ameen!

“When Allah loves someone, He will put him in difficulties.” – Prophet Muhammad (SAW)

Reading that quote sent shivers down my spine as it is so short and simple, but so powerful and full of meaning. To the one who looks at things from what they are on the surface without pondering over them, this would seem like a confusing Hadith, as it would appear as though Allah punishes someone He loves. Of course, that isn’t the case, as this religion is one filled with signs and teachings for “people of understanding.”

What I got from this beautiful Hadith is that Allah loves to help those whom He loves grow into better people, slaves, and Muslims. Here are some of the thoughts that arose in my mind:

1. We grow closer to Him – As Allah places us in difficulties, it causes us to run back to Him for help, making us grow closer to Him. We seek His Help, because He alone is the Owner and Facilitator of our affairs.
2. We are humbled – To be placed into difficulties humbles us, making us recognize that we are no more than slaves in comparison to Allah, so we are inclined towards clinging tightly to Him, knowing that we are incapable of succeeding or growing without Him on our side.
3. Blessings in disguise – We’ve all heard of blessings in disguise, and this is in fact the epitome of that phrase. There is a Hadith (a personal favourite, actually), where the Prophet (SAW) says that there is no calamity that strikes a believer, even if it as small as the prick of a thorn, except that it removes the sins of that believer. So, by placing us in difficulty, Allah is giving us the opportunity to strengthen our faith and to have our sins expiated, so that we may grow stronger as Muslims and may better our chances of getting into Jannah (Paradise).
4. We are challenged towards greatness – As in anything we endeavour towards, we find a need to challenge ourselves in order to grow and progress in that endeavour. In Islam, the ultimate goal is Jannah, so these difficulties are in fact tests and opportunities Allah gives us to grow. Look at it as this: when you try to get in shape, you’re hoping to build a healthier lifestyle. Whether it be losing weight or gaining muscle, you have to challenge yourself beyond what you’re comfortable with in order for you to grow and progress. That is what these difficulties are like. They are ways in which Allah gives us the opportunity to challenge ourselves so that we may reach Jannah. Think back to some of the challenges you used to face and no longer find difficulty in. Looking back at them, you might notice that what used to seem incredibly challenging no longer is. That’s growth right there!

These are just a few thoughts that entered my mind, and to be completely honest, I’m sure that this is just the tip of the iceberg. Still, I wanted to share these thoughts and ideas with all of you, as this is how we can learn and increase our knowledge. May Allah guide us all and help us towards becoming better Muslims, slaves of Allah, and better members of society. I’d love your input and thoughts on the topic, so if you’ve got anything positive to share, please comment below, and we’ll start up a discussion, insha Allah 🙂