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10 Tips for Daily Happiness
10 Tips for Daily Happiness 2560 1532 Nadir Keval

In the world we live in, it’s very easy for us to become overwhelmed or sidetracked by the smallest of things. Still, that is no reason for us to allow our circumstances or the words or actions of others deter us from being happy. Life is a roller coaster of ups and downs, as I mentioned in my video a few months back (The Roller Coaster of Life – Nadir Keval), but the thrilling results are worth the struggling climb.

Throughout my journey in entrepreneurship, faith, health, and the other aspects of my life, I’ve found that there are certain things that are great ways to strengthen our relationships with our own selves. Here are 10 tips I’ve come up with over the years:

1. Keep it simple

When you’re ambitious, or have a lot of things on your plate, it’s fairly easy to overfill our daily to-do list. I did this for years, before I realized that the saying, “Slow and steady wins the race,” is one of the wisest things ever said, especially for one who leads a life in need of self-discipline and unrelenting drive. My suggestion would be to stick to no more than 3-5 things on your daily list of tasks. I guarantee, that will be enough to keep you busy, because in a day, things are bound to come up that are out of your control, and keeping a semi-short list of tasks will help you accomplish your daily goals, while also not leaving you feeling overwhelmed or unaccomplished at the end of the day. If you finish those things, you can always add more things, one by one.

2. Pray

A relationship with God is one of the greatest blessings one can have. It is something that is available to all of us. All that’s required of us is that we reach out for it and respect it. Every person has their own faith, but I can only speak of my own experiences as a Muslim. Amongst the things I love most about my faith is the beauty of prayer and supplication. Through five daily prayers, I am blessed with 5 short vacations, where I can detach from my struggles and goals, and connect with Allah and with my self. Through supplication, I always have someone to speak to when I feel overwhelmed or need help in coming to a decision. The beauty of whom I speak to when supplicating is that He, Allah, is capable of all things and wants what is best for me. How beautiful a feeling it is, to know for certain that I will be okay, and will never be alone, as long as I have faith and prayer.

3. Eat

We live in a world that confuses me. Either we eat too much or we eat too little. Personally, I consider food to be the artistic tools God has given us, with which we can create pieces of art to not only enjoy through vision, but can enjoy as nourishment. Some of these artistic pieces God has given us are art in themselves (try a cold mango on a hot day, and you’ll see what I mean)! My advice: eat well, eat often, and eat pure. Strike balance in your meals and in your day. As the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) said, “The vessels the children of Adam (AS) mistreat most is the stomach. Eat as though your stomach is in three parts. One part for food, one part for water, and one part for air.” (paraphrased)

4. Stay Active

To love food is a great adventure, but just as important as it is for us to enjoy the food that nourishes us, it’s just as important for us to stay active and take care of the body we’re nourishing. Even if it means doing something active for 30 minutes a day, or taking the stairs instead of the elevator or escalator. Start small, and keep moving forward. Do this for you. For some ideas, and more to come, check out my food adventures!

5. Reflect

We live in a day and age that’s all about constantly being on the go, constantly doing “productive” things in order to stay afloat in this world of constant competition. What only the successful realize is that there is a huge amount of benefit to simply taking a few moments for you every day. Turn off all of your electronics, wear something comfortable, and do simply sit and relax. Think about your life, your experiences, your goals, your heart, and your faith. Just think, and find the good in all aspects of your life, especially the things that seem bad, all in order to find peace within.

6. Me-time

I can’t express enough how important it is to do something every day that is just for you. It makes all the difference in your life, in your mental health, in your happiness, in your success, in your peace. Designate one hour per day, without fail, towards doing something just for you. The pressure of the world and of life and those who surround you will make this a difficult task, but do it for you. It’s of the utmost importance.

7. Interact

Solitude is sometimes a phenomenally beneficial thing, and I can attest to how much it’s helped me get things done in my journey towards the fulfillment of my dreams. That said, at times, it could also result in loneliness. We are creatures of companionship. Interacting with others helps us feel and stay connected. It helps us come up with new ideas, and new understandings of the world and the people in it. As I mentioned before, life is about balance, and in the matter of interacting with others, this balancing concept is very important. Spend time on your own, take time to take care of yourself, but be sure to interact with others, to make friends, and to spend time with those who make you happy and inspire positivity in your life.

8. Write

Growing up, we would always hear about girls keeping diaries or journals, and if a boy were to do it, he would be teased for being girly – absolutely nonsensical and childish behavior. Some of the most successful people in the world, men and women, have kept journals as they strived towards achieving their goals. Begin writing. It’s a therapeutic way to keep your self focused, disciplined, and of clear mind. If it were not for my starting to write, by the will of Allah, I probably wouldn’t be where I am today. Though I still have a long way to go, I hope to one day be the owner of a library full of my journals, insha Allah.

9. Sleep

We’ve heard about the importance since we were children. They say you must get 8-10 hours of sleep every night for the sake of your body, mind, and soul. There are many benefits to sleeping well, and that involves more than just the amount of time you spend sleeping. It also includes your conditions of your environment (a hot or cold room, lights being on, your computer buzzing away, etc), what you sleep on, whether or not you go to bed refreshed and calm, and so much more. Be sure to sleep well, and listen to your body. You may be early bird or a night owl. Regardless of which one you are, listen to your body.

10. Smile!

Sometimes, one of the best things we can do when we’re feeling down is force a smile. It can act as inspiration for a real smile 🙂 A smile is one of the things in life that can alleviate pain and sorrow at times when we feel like there is no reason to smile. Not only that, the Prophet (SAW) said that a smile is a form of charity. I’m not sure of how it is in other parts of the world, but I often try to smile at everyone I meet or cross eyes with, and the return of those smiles and the happiness it brings is indescribable. Smile, you’ll change lives…if not the lives of others, it’ll change your own life.

Now, I’d like to hear from all of you! Do you have any ideas or tips of your own as to how to bring about daily happiness? Leave a comment below and get the discussion started :)!

Do Unto Others…
Do Unto Others… 2000 1000 Nadir Keval

Most of us have heard it before, be it through our religious teachings or through every day interactions with others:

“Do unto others as you would want done unto you.”

At first glance, this seems like a great mindset, and definitely something to make a part of our lives. But, what often happens is that we forget to consider the other person carefully. It’s about more than just what they’re going through, but it’s also about the person’s character, likes, and dislikes. For example, I am a person who benefits more from “positive reinforcement”, while the person I may be trying to motivate or encourage could be more inclined towards “negative reinforcement”. If the person gets a grade of 97% on an exam, he may need to hear, “Great job, but where’s the other 3%??” while I am the type to need to hear, “Great job! 97% is an awesome grade!”

Sounds like a pretty similar approach, but the difference comes through understanding what works for the person you’re talking to. When we try to help others, it’s important that we take out the time to make sure we understand the person and their specific needs, not only in what needs to be said or done, but in how action is taken as well.

In most cases where this quote comes into play, it’s a quick back and forth with a person, and we jump to give advice instead of taking a moment to withhold our tongues and to think of what we’re saying and whom we’re saying it to. In times like those, it’s important to always keep in mind that we are all different and all have our own daily struggles, so we must always tread lightly. You never know what a person might be going through.

Every situation is different, but there are some basic steps to start with when trying to help someone out or when giving advice. Check out these steps and use them the next time you’re in a position to help and treat people well:

1. Build a comfort zone

When you know a person, it’s easier to build a comfort zone using your past experiences with them, your relationship overall, and what you know makes them happy. For example, I have a friend who loves anime, so when advising him, I would ask him about a show he may have mentioned in the past and spoken passionately about. After creating a comfort zone, take the next step.

2. Ask the right questions

Once the comfort zone is there, it’s time to ask questions that help slowly bring out the concerns the person is having. Start with open-ended questions, and then work your way to the details. You’ll see that if the person is willing or wanting to talk, the details will slowly work their way into the discussion.

3. Maintenance and Reminders

The key when talking to someone and advising them is to maintain the comfort zone by letting them complete all of their thoughts and say whatever is on their minds, without interruption. In addition to that, reminders of being there for them and caring about them helps in helping them feel that they aren’t alone in their struggle and that they can pull through.

Keep in mind that these are simply guidelines. Ultimately, each case is different, as I mentioned earlier, but it’s always really important to keep the other person’s personality and needs in mind when giving advice. In fact, it’s important to remember to remember those things when interacting with anyone for any reason. Speak to others with kindness, listen, be patient, and speak the truth with wisdom and sincerity.

Question: I want to make a change and get closer to God, but I’m struggling. What can I do?
Question: I want to make a change and get closer to God, but I’m struggling. What can I do? 1920 1200 Nadir Keval

I was anonymously asked a question by a brave sister on Tumblr about a matter that many in the Muslim community, young and old face. It includes matters that are often considered taboo, and aren’t addressed for that same reason, or because people are too shy to approach Muslim scholars and counselors about the matter. So, I felt it would be wise to share my response to the sister with all of you. Be sure to share this article with your friends and family, as it is something many may not admit to struggle with, but would eagerly read in hopes of finding at least the first step to overcoming their internal struggle.

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Wa alaikum assalaam sister,

The situation you’re in is definitely a difficult one, but it is also very common. I talk to individuals about things like this more often than most would be willing to accept. So, don’t feel like this is an impossible thing to work on. It’s human nature, and will take your dedication and hard work to move forward from it, insha Allah. Trust me, you can get through this and become the person you’re aspiring to be, be-idhnillah.

No matter what the thing we’re struggling with is, the first step is almost always to first work on increasing the faith-related matters in our lives. Here are a few things you can do to get started:

  • Salah: Work on increasing your Salah, praying on time, and focusing while in Salah.
  • Dua: Make more dua, sincere dua. Learn about the etiquette of dua, and focus on composing your dua correctly.
  • Company: Surround yourself with people who inspire you to increase your Imaan. That could include going to sister’s halaqas, spending more time at the masjid, etc. The Prophet (SAW) said that we are a reflection of the company we keep. Remember that when you feel uncomfortable or out of place in the company of people you don’t usually hang around.
  • Quran: Read the Quran more often, 10 verses at a time. Study those 10 verses, memorize them, understand them, apply them to your life, and then move to the next 10 verses.

Take these things on one at a time, and slowly move towards betterment. It’s better to take small steps forward and to keep moving, than to take leaps and bounds only to fall back three times as far as you leapt forward.

I’ll try to address the specific things you mentioned in your message, to the best of my abilities. When approaching

  • Music: This is something I struggled with a lot growing up, so I can understand how difficult it can be. Some believe that it’s not haram, others believe it is. I choose to play it safe, considering this is my Hereafter I’m putting on the line, and just avoid music. That said, it’s a process to overcome. To start, when you want to listen to music, begin with listening to Muslim HipHop and things like that. There are other genres, but yeah. Then, slowly move towards listening to nasheeds with music in the background. Then, slowly to nasheeds without music, and finally, towards listening to Quran and seminars. It will take time, and everyone has their own pace, but you’ll get there, insha Allah.
  • Not covering up: In our Deen, both men and women have been prescribed guidelines as to what is Islamically sound and what isn’t when it comes to the matters of maintaining our modesty and appearance. It’s not my place to speak on hijab, so I won’t. But, I can speak on the benefits that covering up have had on my life. There is something about covering up that results in a greater level of confidence, power, and conviction in all that I do. On top of this, I have this sense of privacy, because of which I find it difficult to feel any sense of comfort if something as small as a bit of my back showing when I go into sujood (prostration) during Salah. That has come through an appreciation and love for humility and modesty. I know those two words (humility and modesty) get thrown around alot, making them lose the weight they carry, but honestly, I believe that what differentiates many of us is how sincere we are in the genuine aspects of human nature that make us different from those who have forgotten those sincere aspects, regardless of who they are or what they stand for. Finally, we strive to live our lives in a way that is an emulation of the Prophet (SAW) and his companions (RA). Ask yourself what they would’ve done, and try to emulate that. Oh, and one more thing that always inspired me to cover up is that Musa (AS) had a physique and overall appearance that was amongst the best, but he would always remain covered out of shyness. A man like him, so strong, wise, and genuine in his leadership qualities, was shy. That shows me that shyness is a good quality to have, and one that I hope to possess myself, insha Allah.
  • Pornography: The world we live in today makes access to pornography as easy as, well, using google. That’s a scary thought, but it’s something that simply needs to be battled within our hearts and souls, through filling our time with other matters that are more beneficial to us. What I have recommended to others in the past (that has worked for them, alhamdulillah), is to avoid using computers for any more reason than is necessary for work or school. Turn your phone or tablets, or any of that stuff off once you come home from school/work. Head to bed early. Wake up early. Take up working out, martial arts classes, a women’s only gym class or sessions, etc. Start going to those halaqas at sister’s groups or at the masjid. Find a new hobby (one that doesn’t involve too much interaction with men). Set goals and work towards them every day, and track your progress. Buy/Make a calendar, and for every day you indulge in pornography or masturbate or anything like that, put a black or red mark on the calendar date you do any of those things on. Don’t put any other labels on it, to maintain your privacy. Just a simple calendar with marks on it. If anyone asks, say that you’re just working on a habit you’re trying to form (which is to live without pornography – but don’t tell them this detail). Try to reduce the markings as much as possible until you’re left with a clean calendar for at least 3 weeks straight (studies have shown that it takes 21 days to make or break a habit). Only look at the calendar if you indulge, otherwise, leave it aside in a private place. This builds on “out of sight, out of mind”. Reminding yourself of it often will make it difficult to fully move forward. Take your time with this, don’t give up no matter how difficult it becomes, hold yourself accountable for your actions, but don’t let that depress you. Instead, let it motivate you to fight to remove this addiction from your heart and life.
  • Partying with boys: Alhamdulillah, this is one of those things that’s easier to work on. From my own experiences, I spent most of my life surrounded by women. Most of my relatives are women, and my home includes my dad and I along with my grandmother, mother, and three sisters. So, I found more comfort and belonging amongst women. That meant that growing up, a lot of my friends would be women, I would rarely interact with guys to the extent of having them be my close friends, etc. Then, as I began learning more about Islam, and began applying what I learned to my life, I reduced my interaction with women significantly, striving to maintain it within the bounds of the teachings of Islam, alhamdulillah. The reason I bring up my own story is because the advice I gave you about making the Deen a bigger part of your life through Salah, Dua, reading Quran, and surrounding yourself around fellow sisters that inspire you towards becoming a better Muslim, is a reflection of the same things I did to overcome this matter. It took it’s time, but alhamdulillah, it worked. Fill your time with other things that are beneficial for you in this life and the Next, limit your interaction with guys (that aren’t your mahram) to only what is necessary to conduct business (i.e. school projects, work, etc.), and whenever you’re invited or have the urge to go out and party, pray 2 rakah of voluntary salah, or make dua, and ask yourself, “Is this something Allah would be pleased with? If I die, would I be able to face Allah about this?” If you’re answer is yes, then move forward. If it isn’t, then leave the matter for the sake of Allah, and trust Him to reward you and to replace what you left with something that’s better for you in this life and the Next. We live in a time where peer pressure is immensely strong in matters like these, where people take the matter of interaction with opposite gender too lightly. It’s a matter that should be taken more seriously, and should be recognized as a source of temptation towards other things, like the things you mentioned you struggle with. Run everything you do through the filter of Islam, and if you find that there’s even the slightest doubt of what you’re considering to be something that Allah and His Messenger (SAW) would be pleased with, leave it. It’ll be hard at first, but it will pay off.

Everything I’ve mentioned in response to your question comes with the understanding that you will have to work hard to overcome these struggles, and that the journey will not be easy. But, as they say, “Nothing worth having comes easy,” you know that your reward in this life and the Next will be worth the efforts. I pray that Allah grants you ease and success as you take on this inner battle, and that He rewards you immensely throughout this life and the Hereafter, so that your Imaan and love for Allah will continue to increase exponentially throughout your life, insha Allah. Ameen. If you have any more questions, you’re more than welcome to email me to book an appointment to discuss things further, insha Allah, either over video counseling or chat counseling. My email address is mail@nadirkeval.com. Take care!

Wassalaamu alaikum,

– Nadir Keval (www.nadirkeval.com)

Question: Why are some people tested more than others?
Question: Why are some people tested more than others? 1681 1189 Nadir Keval

Question:

It seems unfair at times as you seem to have it all. May Allah bless you with more inshaAllah, but at times I find it all too much as you really seem to have a great life. A great family, good food, great job… Why are some people tested more than the others. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t envy you but can’t help but wonder. Why you, why not me?

Answer:

Assalaamu alaikum,

Ramadan Mubarak! May Allah grant you contentment and satisfaction with Allah, His Decree, and His Provision, and bless you with the heights of happiness and success in this life and the Next. Ameen.

Alhamdulillah, I do have a great life, but this should not be misconstrued as being a life without struggle, strife, and challenges. I have experienced many different phases in my life, including health scares, desperation for enough food to eat in a day, heartbreak, family discourse, and more. For all of it, I say, with all sincerity, Alhamdulillah.

What makes my life seem so great is the approach I take towards it, wa lillahil hamd. I believe in being grateful for all that we have and recognizing that there may be some things that happen in our lives that we don’t necessarily want or expect, but those are often the same things we later learn to be amongst the most beneficial towards our growth and happiness.

The question of why some are tested more than others is often asked, and has many responses based on wisdom. The first thing to understand though, before addressing that question, is that tests come in different forms. Just because a person gains wealth, does not mean that they are not being tested. Their test comes in how they use that wealth, and whether or not they show gratitude for what Allah has blessed them with. Just because a person’s life seems to be in order, doesn’t mean that they aren’t being tested in their own capacity.

Some of the many reasons for some people being “tested” more than others include:

  • Allah is protecting you from something. For years, I have wanted to get married, but things haven’t panned out, and often I’ve been left hurt, betrayed, and changed. In situations like that, I am getting tested, and being saved. The test comes in how I deal with the situation, and being saved comes from the fact that I look back at the experiences I had with those individuals, or look at where they are now, and recognize that I have been blessed to have not gotten married to them because of who they truly were then or who they are now.
  • The time for your success is not ideal yet, and Allah is preparing you for that time. It took me many years to see my businesses reach any level of success. During that proves, I was tested with patience, perseverance, and reliance on Allah. It was a trying time, and after hard work and a lot of time spent in prayer and supplication, weeping and seeking the help of Allah, I got what I was looking for. The difference though was that I got what I needed and not necessarily what I wanted, and for that, I am eternally grateful.
  • You are being strengthened. It often takes years for most people before they see success. During this time, they are given the option of becoming stronger or giving up. Those who choose to become stronger begin to work harder, build their patience, and increase their threshold for struggle. Betterment is always a blessing, so it’d be wise to make the most of it.
  • You are being given the opportunity to grow closer to Allah. It was definitely through the hardships and struggles I faced when it came to my health, relationships, and career, that I grew closest to Allah. I knew that I was being tested and that Allah wouldn’t forsake me, because He knows that in the depths of my heart, I know that He is the only One that could ever save me from my misery. And so, I increased my worship, worked harder than ever, and trained my mind to understand and accept that Allah is going to take care of me as long as I recognize Him to be above everything and my closest friend.

Akhi/Ukhti, it’s important to understand that whatever trials and tribulations we go through, as well as any success we may experience are all blessings and tests at the same time. My life is only the way it is not because of an absence of trials and tribulations, but because of a connection with Allah that I have worked a long time to establish, and will be working the rest of my life to completely perfect. I have my down times, I have my moments of despair and desperation, but that is because I am human and capable of error. Not because I have more talent, skill, or even Love from Allah. I don’t quantify those things in my life. Instead, I just work hard at everything I do, and make Islam my core.

So, my advice to you, if you’re going through a tough time and need an out is to remember and apply the lessons from this verse:

“And whoever has cognizance of Allah – He will make for him a way out…and will provide for him from where he does not expect. And whoever relies upon Allah – then He is sufficient for him. Indeed, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Allah has already set for everything a [decreed] extent.” – Quran (65:2-3)

Applying this means building a relationship with Allah so that you become completely cognizant of all that He is capable of, and thus, become patient and content as you strive and wait for your efforts to pay off. Build on your faith and relationship with Allah, work incredibly hard, and be patient. You are in the blessed month of Ramadan, so take advantage of this opportunity to build your faith and make Islam the core of every aspect of your life. I wrote about this in a recent article, which I feel you may benefit from: “The Seed Of All Success”

Finally, remember the hadith of the Prophet (SAW), where he said:

“No soul will die until it has received its provision in full and completed its allotted lifespan.” – Prophet Muhammad (SAW)

So, don’t worry about where you are in life right now. Be grateful for it because Allah has His Wisdom behind it. And take this as an opportunity to grow closer to Allah, to grow stronger in your character, and to take this time to make the most of everything you’ve been blessed with. Dwell not on the things that bring you hardship, but find hope in that which you have been blessed with, good and bad.

I hope this answers your question. Jazakallahu khairun for the admiration and dua. Take care.

Wassalaamu alaikum,

– Nadir Keval (www.nadirkeval.com)

10 Tips For A Better Ramadan
10 Tips For A Better Ramadan 1920 1200 Nadir Keval

Every Ramadan, we set goals and resolutions, and just like New Year resolutions, these are quickly forgotten. The first week of Ramadan has now passed and this is the perfect opportunity to reevaluate and determine where we are and where we can go with our faith, character, and lifestyle. This Ramadan, use these tips (in no particular order) to get yourself back in check. Work hard at making these a reality, and insha Allah, you’ll see positive differences and changes in your relationship with yourself and with Allah. May Allah make these steps beneficial for all of us, and guide us towards that which is best for us to continue with throughout our lives here and in the Hereafter. Ameen.

1. Get out of bed and your bedroom as quickly as possible

Every morning, at least for me, it’s a challenge to get myself out of bed and get to work. I love what I do in my life, and aspire to do so much more every day, but the truth is, sleep is a luxury I would love to indulge in more. Still, with the bed and bedroom come temptations that just aren’t beneficial. For example, laziness becomes something that is so easily attainable, especially if you’re someone who doesn’t work a 9-5, like me, or if you’re a student with classes later in the day. At the time of the Prophet (SAW), they spent so much of their time during Ramadan in worship, hard work towards feeding their families, and more, to the point that many went days, weeks, or sometimes even the entire month with only a few hours of sleep per night. They are examples for us, to show us that they too were human and capable of keeping up. So, get out of bed, get dressed, and get started with your day. It’ll keep you disciplined, on point and focused, and will give you a better night’s sleep when you head to bed every night. For one month, make sacrifices and put your faith before your sleep. You’ve done it for your job, to study for exams, to take care of your kids, and sometimes even to hang out with your friends. Reducing your sleep hours during this one month won’t hurt, especially if you’re using it towards worship. (Remember, I’m not a doctor though, so this may not work for everyone. But, before you write this step off, ask yourself what your intention and reason is behind cutting down sleep.)

2. Eat clean and smart

Oh, the horrifying things Muslims do to themselves when Iftar and Suhoor come around. May Allah guide and forgive us. When you’re eating, it should be for the sake of nourishment and not gluttony. Eat to live. Don’t live to eat. This Ramadan, stick to the natural basics, and avoid anything from a wrapper. Also, avoid sugars and caffeine. Sugar because it won’t keep you nourished for the day, and caffeine because studies have shown that it leads to dehydration. Stick to proteins, fiber-rich foods, fruit, vegetables, nuts, water, and milk. And finally, remember to eat in moderation. The food isn’t going anywhere. Eat small portions, eat clean and nutritious, and eat only at Iftar and Suhoor times. Avoid eating full meals between the two times. If you feel very hungry, drink lots of water and munch on things like fruits, veggies, and nuts.

3. Stay active, but listen to your body

One of the most common things I hear before Ramadan, from others and myself is, “I’m going to work out a lot this Ramadan and just shred the fat away.” I’m going to be straight with you here: no, you’re not. It’s definitely possible for you to shred fat during Ramadan, but that won’t come through aggressive and excessive workouts. It will come through nutrition and workout consistency. Before you start doing your three 2-hour workouts every day (which can be harmful and counter-productive unless planned out with proper knowledge and application of the human body, its needs, and your own unique body’s chemistry), take it one step at a time, and pace yourself. As you get comfortable with one thing, add the next. Most importantly though, listen to your body. Don’t over exert yourself. If you need to rest, rest.

Remember, Ramadan is a time to train your body, mind, and spirit for the year to come, so don’t jump in completely without preparation and by taking on everything at once. Be patient and wise, and take small steps towards your goals.

4. Put your faith first

When you start your day, start it with faith. Work towards getting the faith-related things you had planned for the day done first, so as to avoid procrastination. It’s far too easy to get caught up in your daily activities and to forget the things you had set out to do differently this Ramadan. So, if you are hoping to finish reading the Quran during this month, make some time in the morning before work, school, or anything else, and read a few pages or even a chapter or two. Make it a point to pray as soon as the time for each Salah comes in, and take out some time out of your day to listen or watch a lecture online or at your local Masjid.  The point is, indulge in your faith and make it the root of your life, and you will find yourself cleansed of stress, strife, and mental clutter. (I actually just wrote an article about this: The Seed Of All Success)

5. Make a goal list

It’s really easy to fall of course when we make a mental list of our tasks and don’t write things down. It may seem possible at first, but eventually, things pile up and you forget one or two things here or there, and the next thing you know, you’ve missed something major and fallen off track. Write down your goals for the month. If you already had done so before Ramadan began, take this as an opportunity to revise and renew those goals. This first week was the trial run – your beta phase. Reflect on the last week, think about what you’ve done, what you can do to become better, write down tasks to make it more clear, and then take action and make your goals a reality.

6. Keep a journal

This can do wonders for you when you’re working towards growth in any aspect of life. Keep a journal for each separate goal – one for working out, your career, your Deen, etc. This is a great approach to keeping yourself on track and building motivation to maintaining your goals and aspirations.

7. Give back

One of the best ways to cleanse your mind and soul, and to feel good about yourself is to help others and give back to the community. This is a great way to bring to light one of the main reasons behind why we fast: to understand and recognize that we have so much to be grateful for in our lives. When you are more aware of how privileged we are with all of the things Allah has blessed us with, we are less greedy, more calm and collected, and more patient in dealing with the struggles of life, along with the many other benefits of helping others. And personally, I also believe that giving back is one of the best ways to increase your success and gain more out of what you aspire towards.

8. Learn something new daily

Seeking knowledge is an integral part of Islamic teachings, and it would be unwise to not take advantage of this month as a time to secure a routine or habit of making an effort to learn more on a daily basis. Take out some time every day to watch or listen to a new lecture on Islam or any other beneficial topic, go to your local Masjid, have discussions with your fellow Muslim friends about different topics in Islam, read the Tafseer of the Quran, study Islamic history books, etc. Just do something to learn about your Deen and about other things that will benefit you in this life and in the Next.

9. Take time to meditate

It actually bothers me when people say that Salah is enough meditation for Muslims. It’s one of many ways we can meditate and find a center point. Take up yoga, go for a walk, go fishing, do something that is calming and takes you away from the stresses of every day life. Your faith is one thing, and taking care of your mental clarity and calm is another. They may overlap, but they are two very different things.

10. Stay close to positive friends

“You are the company you keep.” This is amongst the few phrases that holds true in every circumstance. Who and what you keep company with influences and impacts your own character, habits, and interests. Keeping yourself surrounded by those who are beneficial towards your growth as a person and as a Muslim is key to finding success in this life and the Next. It gives us the support, base of knowledge and structure, and all else we could gain from being around positive influences. Alhamdulillah, my best friend has always been by my side and it has helped immensely in shaping my character and faith.

11. BONUS: Look sharp

This is one of those things where my opinion takes lead and forces itself on to my tasks, making me go against the rules and add another tip to this list. Keep a strong image through your character, looking good while maintaining the halal and Sunnah, and staying clean and fresh are key components of what makes Islam and Muslims so amazing. Here’s the truth: because Islam is a way of life, Muslims represent it at every turn. While we are open to flaws and mistakes due to us being human, we are still capable of doing our best to look our best, holding character in our personalities and sense of style. So, take a second, read up on style, check out fashion houses and their artistic appeal, and create your own personal style (while sticking to the Sunnah as much as possible – constantly trying to grow in faith).

Be you. It’s really just that simple.
Be you. It’s really just that simple. 3072 2304 Nadir Keval

That which does not kill me can only make me stronger
(That’s for real)
and I don’t see why everybody feel as though
they gotta tell me how to live my life
(You know?)
Let me live baby, let me live.

– Tupac Shakur

Ask yourself the simple question: “Do I believe that what I’m doing is right and does it pass the tests of my beliefs and values?”

I’m not talking about ethical issues, because this isn’t an ethics class. I’m not gonna talk about things that should be obvious (and because they’re obvious, I don’t need to mention them). But I will speak about the things we face in life, the drama people cause, the struggles we face internally, and externally with others.

In life, you will find that there are going to be a lot of people ready to judge you, to spread negative things about you, and to try to ruin your image. Especially if you are in a more public eye. But, always ask yourself that above question, and believe in yourself.

I find that this is something that we all need to consider in every moment of our lives. Make these things your mindset, in order for you to succeed. I’m not saying this is a law of any sort, but in my opinion, staying true to yourself always keeps you grounded.

This concept and understanding is something relevant to many aspects of life:

Business

In business, you will without doubt, be faced with these sorts of issues, people giving you a variety of opinions on how you should do things, people trying to shut you down before you even get started, etc, etc. But, regardless of what happens, you need to do what you believe is right, what abides to your vision, and what makes you happy. Now, that doesn’t mean you should live life closed-minded. It means to be open to hearing other people’s thoughts when you need a second or third opinion, and to always remember that you should be the one with the final say in your decision. BUT, be careful as to who you ask. Keep a small group of people in your life as your go-to people, that you turn to when you’re unsure of something. For me, I have my two best friends (they know who they are 🙂 ), another friend who’s like a brother to me (he knows himself too haha) my parents and sisters, and well, that’s it. Of course, when I get married God-willing, I’d want to add my wife to that list. But, you get the point.

Also, another point that I would suggest is to not talk about your ideas, or your plans, until after you’re on your way to working on them. For example, if you’re going to start a business, don’t go telling everyone all the details of your idea. That’s how you get naysayers and idea-theives excited haha. Just do your thing, keep it to yourself, and then, when ready, launch your idea. 🙂

Friends

Often, for the sake of keeping someone around, or not losing a “friend”, we sacrifice what we believe in. We change ourselves, just to make sure that we don’t lose someone we think is important to us. But, a true friend – and I speak out of experience of going through many of the so-called “true” friends – is that person that stands by you, and gives you that unconditional love, regardless of what you do. He/She wouldn’t ask you to change. Wouldn’t make you feel bad about who you are. A friend tells you, “I will always be here, to help you through your life, and I’d expect the same from you.” When you think about it like that, you realize, you could filter out most of your friends, and find the few remaining ones that are worth your effort. And when a person makes that effort to be a good friend, let them. Friendship is not a right. It’s deserved. I think most things are, and friendship sure is one of those things.

Relationships

When it comes to relationships, the concept is similar to that of friends (mentioned above). A partner has to be your friend. Otherwise, it won’t work. At least not in my opinion. You have to be able to be best friends. This is that person that you’ll be sharing your most intimate moments with, the person who will make you whole.*

Friendship is the first step, and so, in the same way, the person your soul connects to in that way should be willing to embrace you as you are, no matter how you change. So, be you, work hard towards your visions and work hard towards your relationship. Yes, relationships are in need of compromises at times, but at no cost, in my opinion, should we change ourselves at the core-level.

* Sidenote: Yes, your partner, the person you end up with, should make you whole. But, if God-forbid, things don’t work out between you two, remember that there’s a reason for everything. Also, don’t become dependant on that person. Make them a choice, not the source of vulnerability.

Family

This is that group of people that will often drive you nuts with their input, or will confuse you with their opinions on how you should do things. But, in the end, remember that they are the same people who will stand by you regardless of what happens. (There are very rare situations where this isn’t the case, but trust me, chances are you’re not in one of those situations.) I have personally been through so many struggles in life, sometimes clashing with my family, but in the end, they were the ones that stood by me.

When I speak of family, I’m speaking of your direct family. Not necessarily your extended family. Your direct family knows you best, considering they have probably spent more time with you than other relatives.

When your family suggests things to you, or tells you their thoughts on something, it’s best to consider what they are saying, and then make your own decision. They are saying what they say often out of the goodness of their hearts. Even if you don’t like what they say, thank them for their opinion and then make your decision. Nothing in this world is worth breaking bonds with family, except your religious beliefs. Then to, don’t break the bonds completely, but continue being kind to them.

Personal Growth

This is a major struggle many of us face. As we grow, we develop not only physically, but mentally and soulfully as well. These latter developments are in fact the things that make us who we are. As we grow, we realize that certain things matter more to us than others, and so, we develop an affection towards those things. These things may be inclusive of spirituality, diet, morality, passions, and more. It is important that we take these aspects of our lives and allow them to grow naturally within ourselves. Time is something constant, and so, it is best for us to work with time as it comes. Rushing growth will only stunt it. Instead, take the changes your experiences, the growth you endure, and make the most of them. If you fall in the process of that growth, then so be it. Don’t concern yourself with the pain the fall caused you, because that pain will become your focus. Instead, concern yourself with how you can take that fall and learn from it: What lead to the fall, and how can I avoid that next time? How can I get up from this fall faster next time? etc.

Life will throw you difficulties. Don’t let those difficulties hit you. Instead, catch them and throw them back at life. 🙂

So, in the end…

It’s a simple matter of staying true to yourself. Ask yourself if what you do will result in something that will make you happy and will help you towards your ultimate goals. Ask yourself if who you are will compromised by taking that different step. Ask yourself if you are ready to take on that challenge and make those changes you need to make if necessary, in order for you to reach your goals.

Who you are will without doubt change during your lifetime, but let that change come naturally from within, not from your concerns for the judgments of other people.

The decision is only for God

[Quran, Chapter al-An’aam 6:57]

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