happiness

Wandering Heart
Wandering Heart 1600 1200 Nadir Keval

When reading the word “heart” in a title, it usually means that you’re going to be reading about something related to love and relationships. In this case, however, that is far from the case. In the last little while, I have struggled with my own happiness. I’ve been unsure of so much, and with having lived a lifetime feeling as though I am destined to fail due to the opinions of many around me and through my own “downfalls” in life, everything seemed to have piled up and beat me to the ground. Fortunately, I had my faith holding me above the water, as well as some family and friends that helped me stay afloat, but overall, in my relationship with myself, I have been insecure and severely lacking confidence.

It’s funny how ironic my situation had become, being a person who has lived most of his life helping people through comforting and advising, to be the same person who needs comfort, advice, and help. Ah, how things often work out. I have faced many difficult times, especially in the emotional and mental realm. Still, I personally look at it as a blessing, because it is only through having truly experienced the ups and downs of life that I’m able to help others in similar situations. Of course, there is plenty I have not or have yet to face, but I believe that for all of us, what we face is simply God’s gift to us. Not only does what we face build us in strength and character, but it acts as evidence to the fact that there is nothing God places in our path that we are incapable of overcoming.

“Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity.” – Quran (2:286)

The struggles and successes are drawn out paths towards strength and success, a blessing from God. It’s just a matter of us believing in ourselves enough to pull through and push forward.

What I’ve faced throughout most of my life is being very different from the rest. How I’ve approached every aspect of my life has made me an outcast in most cases. From my childhood when I was more intrigued by contemplation and solitude than by sports and competition, to my youth when I wouldn’t indulge or even try things like drugs and alcohol as many of my former peers did, to my adulthood when I would approach a career and lifestyle in a way that was so far from the norm that only a small percentage of the world’s population pursues. These differences made it difficult for me to relate to anyone, thus reducing the number of people I was able to connect with and share a beneficial relationship with. Those who did stay around me often made me feel as though I was a failure or that I was living in a fantasy because of my approaches towards life. They used their pessimism and lack of patience and understanding to make me feel as though I was destined to be left behind while others my age became successful.

All of these had broken me time and time again, and this last time, I felt as though there were too many shattered pieces for me to stand a chance at rebuilding. I was so unsure of everything happening in my life that it was as though I had entered some form of paralysis. I didn’t know what to do, and if I gave my mind the opportunity to dig deeper into that hole of thought, I began to fall in, ultimately entering a freefall with no parachute to save me from a fatal impact. The fall was long, until I realized that since this is a matter of my mind, I was able to create a “parachute” and use it to land safely before beginning my ascension back up to stable ground.

This is when every thought in my mind was bridged together, and a solution was seen. I was missing the glue that connected it all together, and made me who I am. I realized that it is my mind that is perhaps my greatest asset – eternal gratitude and praise is due to Allah for it. I now understand and accept that the purpose of my being and my mind is not to be embraced or supported. I need to simply live, love, and dream. I have to do that with all that I am. God will handle the rest. He will bring those meant to be in my heart towards me, and will distance me from those who could harm me. All praise is due to Him.

Since recognizing this, I now find myself breaking out of the vicious cycle of unhappiness and negativity, and I can feel the weight of the world (that my mind had created or allowed to fester and grow) leaving me. I focus now solely on spreading happiness and seeking happiness through doing what pleases me, within the bounds of what pleases Allah, as He is the One from whom I have received the gift that is my life.

Question: Why are some people tested more than others?
Question: Why are some people tested more than others? 1681 1189 Nadir Keval

Question:

It seems unfair at times as you seem to have it all. May Allah bless you with more inshaAllah, but at times I find it all too much as you really seem to have a great life. A great family, good food, great job… Why are some people tested more than the others. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t envy you but can’t help but wonder. Why you, why not me?

Answer:

Assalaamu alaikum,

Ramadan Mubarak! May Allah grant you contentment and satisfaction with Allah, His Decree, and His Provision, and bless you with the heights of happiness and success in this life and the Next. Ameen.

Alhamdulillah, I do have a great life, but this should not be misconstrued as being a life without struggle, strife, and challenges. I have experienced many different phases in my life, including health scares, desperation for enough food to eat in a day, heartbreak, family discourse, and more. For all of it, I say, with all sincerity, Alhamdulillah.

What makes my life seem so great is the approach I take towards it, wa lillahil hamd. I believe in being grateful for all that we have and recognizing that there may be some things that happen in our lives that we don’t necessarily want or expect, but those are often the same things we later learn to be amongst the most beneficial towards our growth and happiness.

The question of why some are tested more than others is often asked, and has many responses based on wisdom. The first thing to understand though, before addressing that question, is that tests come in different forms. Just because a person gains wealth, does not mean that they are not being tested. Their test comes in how they use that wealth, and whether or not they show gratitude for what Allah has blessed them with. Just because a person’s life seems to be in order, doesn’t mean that they aren’t being tested in their own capacity.

Some of the many reasons for some people being “tested” more than others include:

  • Allah is protecting you from something. For years, I have wanted to get married, but things haven’t panned out, and often I’ve been left hurt, betrayed, and changed. In situations like that, I am getting tested, and being saved. The test comes in how I deal with the situation, and being saved comes from the fact that I look back at the experiences I had with those individuals, or look at where they are now, and recognize that I have been blessed to have not gotten married to them because of who they truly were then or who they are now.
  • The time for your success is not ideal yet, and Allah is preparing you for that time. It took me many years to see my businesses reach any level of success. During that proves, I was tested with patience, perseverance, and reliance on Allah. It was a trying time, and after hard work and a lot of time spent in prayer and supplication, weeping and seeking the help of Allah, I got what I was looking for. The difference though was that I got what I needed and not necessarily what I wanted, and for that, I am eternally grateful.
  • You are being strengthened. It often takes years for most people before they see success. During this time, they are given the option of becoming stronger or giving up. Those who choose to become stronger begin to work harder, build their patience, and increase their threshold for struggle. Betterment is always a blessing, so it’d be wise to make the most of it.
  • You are being given the opportunity to grow closer to Allah. It was definitely through the hardships and struggles I faced when it came to my health, relationships, and career, that I grew closest to Allah. I knew that I was being tested and that Allah wouldn’t forsake me, because He knows that in the depths of my heart, I know that He is the only One that could ever save me from my misery. And so, I increased my worship, worked harder than ever, and trained my mind to understand and accept that Allah is going to take care of me as long as I recognize Him to be above everything and my closest friend.

Akhi/Ukhti, it’s important to understand that whatever trials and tribulations we go through, as well as any success we may experience are all blessings and tests at the same time. My life is only the way it is not because of an absence of trials and tribulations, but because of a connection with Allah that I have worked a long time to establish, and will be working the rest of my life to completely perfect. I have my down times, I have my moments of despair and desperation, but that is because I am human and capable of error. Not because I have more talent, skill, or even Love from Allah. I don’t quantify those things in my life. Instead, I just work hard at everything I do, and make Islam my core.

So, my advice to you, if you’re going through a tough time and need an out is to remember and apply the lessons from this verse:

“And whoever has cognizance of Allah – He will make for him a way out…and will provide for him from where he does not expect. And whoever relies upon Allah – then He is sufficient for him. Indeed, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Allah has already set for everything a [decreed] extent.” – Quran (65:2-3)

Applying this means building a relationship with Allah so that you become completely cognizant of all that He is capable of, and thus, become patient and content as you strive and wait for your efforts to pay off. Build on your faith and relationship with Allah, work incredibly hard, and be patient. You are in the blessed month of Ramadan, so take advantage of this opportunity to build your faith and make Islam the core of every aspect of your life. I wrote about this in a recent article, which I feel you may benefit from: “The Seed Of All Success”

Finally, remember the hadith of the Prophet (SAW), where he said:

“No soul will die until it has received its provision in full and completed its allotted lifespan.” – Prophet Muhammad (SAW)

So, don’t worry about where you are in life right now. Be grateful for it because Allah has His Wisdom behind it. And take this as an opportunity to grow closer to Allah, to grow stronger in your character, and to take this time to make the most of everything you’ve been blessed with. Dwell not on the things that bring you hardship, but find hope in that which you have been blessed with, good and bad.

I hope this answers your question. Jazakallahu khairun for the admiration and dua. Take care.

Wassalaamu alaikum,

– Nadir Keval (www.nadirkeval.com)

To Be Happy
To Be Happy 4000 1160 Nadir Keval

I believe that when we are born, we are all blessed with a natural disposition towards the pursuit of happiness. It is only due to the environments we are raised in that we end up losing that desire for it. Sure, many of us spend a good portion of our lives striving towards having a stable and secure income, the perfect spouse, that ideal family, enjoyment of all types of foods, and a body that would make Greek mythology seem reflective of the average physique. Is all of that possible? Of course it is, but it takes immense amounts of hard work, ambition, self-esteem, patience, and faith – things very few of us are willing to apply to our lives.

What we acquire in life, and how successful we are is often judged based on our bank balances, the size of our houses, the brands of our clothes, and the price tag of our cars. Notice how it’s all related to money? We have become slaves to the things we have created – paper with ink on it, which we claim to be of value because of some sort of signature on it that makes it unique. Money is the largest and longest running ad campaign in human history. We have been convinced and conditioned to make something so worthless into something considered priceless at times. How’s that? Consider being in a situation where law requires you to pay for anything you eat, and that the clerk selling you food must take money from you in order to make the transaction and avoid penalties.  Add to this the fact that you have not eaten for days and have no money with which to purchase food. Other than doing something that could result in you being punished by law, in some cases, to the point of death, you really have no choice but to move forward without nourishment. That mere dollar or two would thus become priceless to you because it is a matter of life and death. This example may seem a little farfetched, but sadly, it’s a truth to thousands of people around the world who live in impoverished places and have nothing to eat or drink. (We must put forth our utmost effort to help those in need, be it as close as home or in places where their basic necessities have become luxuries. I have chosen not to speak further on the importance of helping others in this article, as it takes away from the core of what I am trying to get across. I will, however, speak on the topic in the near future, as it is something I am very passionate and concerned with.)

Yet, look at those people, and you will find that they live out their lives, though often shortened by their unfortunate conditions, with happiness, contentment, and a sincere sense of peace in their hearts. They no longer have attachments to material gains, but rather, attach themselves to faith, family, and hope. We, however, live privileged lives. While others around the world are in conditions where their bare necessities are turned to luxuries, we are living with major luxuries being considered necessities – “Oh, you can’t do much unless you have a cell phone,” “I’m not going to buy those shoes! I want those [insert major brand name here]!” “But what am I supposed to do all day if the TV is out??” We are spoiled. We are pathetic.

Take a look at your life, and ask yourself how much of your time you spend being active? Is your faith the core of your lifestyle? Do you eat to nourish yourself, or to deal with emotions or addictions? Why are you still at your current job? Are you pursuing a passion in at least one component of your life? Ultimately, are you happy? Questions like these are ones that we must ask ourselves often to keep ourselves in check.

For years, I worried about the intangible things, like wealth, careers, food, etc. When I changed my mindset towards focusing around my faith, I found peace. That doesn’t in any way suggest that I don’t have struggles or issues of my own to deal with on a daily basis. That doesn’t mean that I am perfect and completely practice what I’ve written about here, without flaws or errors. What it means is that I no longer felt an attachment to things that I knew would pass. It also means that I am more satisfied and content with my life, and am more open and flexible when it comes to change. I used to think that things had to be done a certain way, and that without pursuing things in that same path, I would be guaranteeing myself a sense of failure and loss. But now, I live with fluidity and flexibility, and am able to adjust to situations with much more ease. I have my affections and attachments, but if they are lost from my life, I no longer feel the need to mope around or be depressed about it, Alhamdulillah.

Life is filled with expectations and norms, but that does not necessarily mean that it’s what best for you. Hold your own goals, work hard, and commit to your dreams and ambitions, but practice fluidity and flexibility through attachment to faith in order to transition smoothly through the turbulence of life. Find a passion, and make an effort to pursue what makes you happiest. Forget the rules of anything but morality and faith, and focus on pursuing happiness as a child without fear and full of imagination. And always, ALWAYS remember to give back and help others, because that is the fastest route to happiness and gaining more true success.

In memory of….
In memory of…. 3888 2592 Nadir Keval

You know, when you have days like this, when people (in this case, Canadians) are thinking about those who have passed in the ways of war, and then you look at what the world has been facing in recent years, you quickly realize that the world is in a difficult place, and seems to only be inflicting pain upon itself.

I speak of the people of the world as one entity, because in truth, we are people who should learn to live in peace and unity. But, to believe that this can be a reality would be ignorance. They say that there cannot be peace without war, just as there cannot be happiness without sadness. But that leads me to question if the world has taken this concept and turned it into a position of accepting defeat against the evils of human nature…almost as though people have forgotten that goodness lies in all of us, and is only in need of that motivation and determination to present itself.

People seem to have given up on the world changing. They think that donating some money to a charity, volunteering at an event, or things of that sort are enough. Truth be told, those things are all things we should do, but they are NOT enough. Not by a long shot.

There is a quote that often lingers in my mind throughout my days, keeping me grounded and focused on living a righteous life:

The righteous person is the one constantly thinking of death.

(I was told this is a quote from the Hadith – the traditions, actions and sayings of the Prophet Muhammad, may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him – but because I’m not sure, I won’t quote it as such. Rather, try to just take the meaning of it.)

When I first heard this quote, I thought, “Wow…that’s pretty negative and pessimistic.” But then, it was explained to me, and it changed my life. The quotation means that the person who is righteous is always asking him/herself a simple question: If I were to pass today, would I be ready to face the Lord/would I be able to look back at my life and say that I did the most I could to be a good person? What’s good and what’s not isn’t the matter at hand here. To each his own in that matter. But, can we look back at our lives and really say that right now, we’re in a place that we’re proud of…not because of pride, because what we’re doing is, in an unbiased opinion, righteous.

That’s when that change needs to come. The reason I mentioned the above quote was to address the fact that we CAN in fact make a change in the world by making a change within ourselves as individuals.

“Truly, God does not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves.” (Quran 13:11)

So, look at that as the plan. Now, let’s work together towards actually putting this plan into action. We all know that there are certain things that we’d like to do in order to make a change in ourselves. We just need that support and motivation to do so. I’m not perfect, but I believe in doing my best to make changes in my own life, so that I can look in the mirror and say, “I’m happy with who I am.”

My friends, let’s make these changes together, and work together towards helping each other make our lives better. I started this website, as well as the programs I run, with this goal in mind: help as many people as possible. So, leave a comment below, or click the Contact button on the side of the page, and talk out your changes with me. We’ll work together in making these changes. I’ll help as much as I can. Who knows, these may be the boosts we need in order to reach our own goals!

Poem: The Deconstruction of Reality
Poem: The Deconstruction of Reality 1920 1200 Nadir Keval

Poetic Imbalance.
Serious Focus.
What happens to the creative mind…
When it’s engulfed by societal crimes?
A world full of judges,
with a rare occurrence to find a righteous one.

Whatever happened to living without the counting?
Why not enjoy the beauty of quality over quantity?
Stop looking for the fountain of everything,
and learn to love your simplicity, even if it leaves you with nothing.

Differences are what make the world beautiful,
Find yourself unique, and you will find sublimity.
Similarities often bring us together,
But tear us apart when they’re made to be the basis of our future.

You are your own, and I am as well.
When we don’t enjoy these factors,
We leave each other bruises to eternally swell.
But we can bring a cease to existence,
of these wretched scenes.
We need to find embrace and acceptance,
and need to become happiness-fiends.

Only then will things change. Only then will hope arise.
Now go clean the dirt off your heart.
And don’t forget to wipe the crap off your eyes.

Copyright © Nadir Keval

Photosource: Jason C. on Deviant Art

Poem: Where do you wanna be?
Poem: Where do you wanna be? 984 1200 Nadir Keval

Reflect. Think. Do.
Done. Thought. Reflected.
Life is a journey meant to be lived.
Life is a drive-thru to eternity,
Of cool bliss or hot misery.
Stay true to your soul,
Turn your dreams into goals.
That’s what’ll get you what you need:
Happiness and a heart soaring free.
The question is: Where do you wanna be?

Copyright © Nadir Keval

Poem: Fluid
Poem: Fluid 3488 3438 Nadir Keval

Rivers flowing into the vast waters,

Like the soul through life, it scatters.

Searching for fantasies of happiness so pure,

Sometimes on paths as refreshing as the morning dew,

And sometimes so harsh, like hurricanes we’re not ready to endure.

Flowing through me,

Nourishing every ounce of my body.

But though it alone holds this ability,

To be what I will always need,

It has the strength to hurt me,

Like salt on a wound, healed by the sea.

Healed – Though it hurt me, it healed.

This is the power of water,

So fluid, it takes hold of whatever

May come its way, or tries to take its place,

Knowing that with it, obstacles just pass by.

Washing out life’s pores I try,

To cleanse myself of the scum of the world.

It is my savior,

Water – my savior.

Quenching my thirst when my mouth goes dry,

Soaking it with security, readjusting my confidence, my pride.

So much, but just enough to get me back on my feet,

Walking on water…unbelievable.

YES! They thought I couldn’t make it,

But now I see, even the impossible can be.

Gone unnoticed, my water is my necessity.

Meaning more to me that I could ever mean,

‘cause without it, there would be no me.

Lately though, water’s been confusing me.

Like a lake in a drought, I’ve become empty.

One day, flooding my being with love and nourishment,

And the next, leaving me wondering where it went.

I’m guessing this is a new test from God,

Seeing if I’m grateful for what I’ve got.

Or maybe it’s to see,

If I have faith that it could be,

Possible for me to live, in trust and patience,

With water as my want, and not as my need.

Upon losing my hydration,

I’ve come to the realization,

That water is my want, faith in God is my want.

As long as I can survive through these times,

Of drought, with a gulp or even the smallest drop,

I’ll pass the test of trust and patience, and trust IN patience,

And will be rewarded with Gardens underneath which rivers flow.

I would love to be engulfed by water,

Not drowned, but ONE with water.

Though this is true, I want to naturally flow to,

Working hard to be deserving of it,

But great things come to those who wait for it,

So, I’ll work hard to hold off but strong from yearning for it.

Copyright (c) Nadir Keval

Poem: Black Star
Poem: Black Star 1700 1168 Nadir Keval

Like that black star in the night sky,
Hiding amongst others shining pride so bright,
I stand strong, knowing that I’m surrounded,
Not bounded,
By the negative connotations
The world founded.
There’s no truth to the images they create,
I can see that through the fate they debate.
Thinking life is how they made it,
But truth is, those words are the ones tainted…
By the misconceptions they forcefully imposed,
Decepting themselves,
Breakin down their souls.
What happened to the world so sound?
Greed came and shouted too loud.
Living in a world so out of place,
It’s no wonder people have forgotten reality’s face.
Doesn’t make sense to take the world by storm.
That’s just a lotta rainy days,
And happiness to mourn.
Listen to your heart and be aware of the Unseen.
Try your best to make it,
And to all that happens,
Know there’s a reason your reason is yet to be seen.

Copyright © Nadir Keval

Poem: Desired
Poem: Desired 1920 1200 Nadir Keval

Mesmerized by dreams of past,
Illusions overtaking the realities of life.
It has become overly clear that life holds its purpose,
But that the achievement is found through individual choices.
We strive so hard throughout our lives,
To please those around us.
But in truth, seeking happiness is found in the search for one’s own desires.

That said, we are left with the equation,
Of how to find the solution to fighting off persuasion.
If we lived purely for our desires,
We would be left with no sympathetic morals.
The world would become misunderstood,
To a greater degree than it already is.
With billions of opinions based on desires,
Ruling any place would cause it to diminish.

Variables in our equation should include such things,
As a foundation built on belief of a Supreme.
This would singular,
Other nightmares is what would become of our dreams.
More than one Divinity,
Would result in no difference,
From what we would be percieving from our desire-focused leaders.

This One would bring about laws,
Ones that hold no obligations,
Only because we trust them so strong.
We believe what is to come,
For we knew it to be good, no matter our thought outcome.
We then continue to pursue our happiness, desires.
But have corrected them,
By using our minds, inspired.

Copyright © Nadir Keval
 
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