happiness

Quote: Simply Smile.

Quote: Simply Smile. 150 150 Nadir Keval

Poem: True Beauty
Poem: True Beauty 2560 1703 Nadir Keval

They ask me,
“What makes her so beautiful?”

I say,
“Her soul.”

They ask,
“But what of her appearance?”

I say,
“It is given value through her soul.”

They ask,
“What of her mind?”

I say,
“It is but a nomad guided by her soul.”

They ask,
“And what of her faith?”

I say,
“Ah, now that is the question.
It is the water and the sun that nourishes her soul.
It is the strength that flows truth to her ever-loving heart.
It is the soul of her soul.”

They ask,
“Then what matters to you most?”

I smile,
“That her faith be her purpose,
her constant epiphany,
and the essence of her happiness.”

Copyright © Nadir Keval

Poem: Struck By An Arrow
Poem: Struck By An Arrow 960 854 Nadir Keval

There is that simple moment,
When a man sees the woman he fancies,
Open her eyes with a smile in her heart,
Hoping she is thinking of him.

She turns a light pink,
As the tips of her lips
Reach for the skies,
And her smile makes the moonlight
Seem like it’s shine isn’t too bright.

This is the dream I hold deep in my heart,
To have as my truth and my fantasy.
She is like an arrow through my heart,
Except unlike cupid,
She’s a dream turned reality.

I do pray that one day,
I could show her my all,
And let her see that my words,
Are my lesser quality,
As my actions will prove,
That I will always try
my best to be worthy
Of her
And her family.

God-willing, one day,
We will find our way,
And our families will love
Each other as though
they were part of each others’ destiny.

I will pray and pray,
And ask Him to guide us.
So we can see
If we should be
Each others’ passports
To a Heavenly Eternity.

Copyright © Nadir Keval

More Than Mediocre
More Than Mediocre 1440 964 Nadir Keval

As children, most of us are privileged and fortunate enough to hear and believe that we are capable of accomplishing anything we put our minds to. Our minds are free, full of imagination and limitless possibilities. We don’t concern ourselves with the opinions of others, or the risks of failure. We simply follow our hearts and intuition, and move freely towards what we want, driven to get what we want, no matter the costs.

Then, we begin to interact with people. We begin to see that our dreams and goals are something others have attempted and have failed at. We begin to question if it’s really worth it to take so many risks. We learn about the way things are “supposed” to be, and how we’re “supposed” to live our lives, and are brainwashed into believing that there isn’t much out there for us to achieve, beyond what has already been accomplished by others. Honestly, to call this bullshit would be an insult to bullshit.

Growing up, I was the type of person that had a great deal of potential, and would be reminded of it often by teachers and relatives. The problem, however, was that I would be placed in the most conventional and typical scenarios to fulfill that potential, that I wasn’t able to find a space where I was able to be my true self. In the eyes of teachers and relatives, I was an academic flop, but simply for the reason that they believed I wasn’t trying hard enough. Parent-Teacher interviews usually went like this:

Teacher: Nadir is one of the best young men I’ve met. He’s smart, he’s intelligent, he gets along well with others, and he is always there to help when needed.

Parents: (grinning) Thank you.

Teacher: But…he seems to be very distracted in class, is often late with his assignments, and seems to struggle with tests, even if he understands the material.

Parents: Oh…

The conversation would then lead to my parents asking the teacher how they could help me, the teacher suggesting tutoring, a schedule, my parents checking and signing my homework book every night, etc. I tried every single one of those things, but nothing seemed to work. It worked for some others, but for me, it just didn’t work. This continued all the way into university, until I came to a point of making the conscious decision to find a new way.

That was when things seemed brighter in my eyes, despite the fact that I was now being called, “A jack of all trades, and a master of none.” That didn’t sit well with me, because I knew that it was possible for me to become more than just one thing. I didn’t want to be mediocre. I looked at the lives of those around me and those I heard about on TV or in the dreadful gossip circles you see at most events. Most people seemed to be miserable with their lives. They hated their jobs, they had lost all romance in their relationships (if they were in one at all – some find singlehood to be the ideal lifestyle, by the way…for me, having someone to share a life with and to be completely comfortable with is one of the most beautiful things life has to offer), they always wanted what they didn’t have and were upset and unsatisfied with what they did have. I looked at that and saw horrifying examples of what following the societal path to “success” looked like.

I decided that enough was enough. I decided that I would go after my goals, and create more dreams and goals as I went along. I decided that if someone told me that I would never be able to accomplish one of my goals, it would then be a personal challenge to make sure that I accomplish it, simply so I can know in my heart that I’m capable of more than what’s expected of me.

I quickly learned that being mediocre was something that just didn’t work for me. I believe I am destined for greatness, destined to be more than mediocre. Why let others dictate what I am and am not capable of?

“Never let anyone’s thoughts, words, or actions towards you dictate the value of your life. Do right by God and do right by you. Focus on those two things and, by the will of God, the rest will come together in the best way possible.” – Nadir Keval

The world is filled with people with lives that are so incredibly similar, while having the potential of being so incredibly unique. What takes us away from being the best we can be is the fact that we become accustomed to living according to what others tell us is okay, acceptable, and realistic. Personally, I call bullshit on that again! I often tell this to my mentoring clients, and I’ll share it with all of you: The key to success lies in a balance of two things…knowledge of your beliefs and values with the action to back it up, balanced with a ridiculously driven and unfaltering work ethic towards making your dreams and goals a reality.

I hope you can take this information and go after your dreams, knowing that every single one of us is capable of being far more than mediocre. You have your own unique purpose in this world, and the best way you can achieve it is by never giving up on becoming better at being you. I’d love to hear your stories on how you’ve come up against the challenges of being your best you, and how you dealt with it. Leave a comment below to get the conversation started!

Poem: I am happy
Poem: I am happy 2000 1500 Nadir Keval

Today, I wanted to yell out to the world,
“I AM HAPPY!”
But I refrained,
because I knew that there existed beings
who felt inclination and satisfaction
in seeking out my every smile,
and tearing it into so many pieces,
that it would take me another series of sleepless
and tear-filled nights,
trying to piece it together again.

You see, the thing that was interesting about these people,
was that they would tell me to be my best.
They would say that I should take hold of my life,
and go after what I believed would make me happy.
Then, as though they were waiting for me,
to hand them the gun that would puncture
and burst open my heart,
they would tell me that by living for me,
and seeking out happiness
instead of taking on more responsibilities,
was an act of selfish arrogance and being inconsiderate.

I’ve heard people say that misery loves company,
but it’s beginning to get crowded.
The world is filled with unhappy people,
and I’m here, trying to break through the barrier.
I love to meet people, even for the first time,
giving them my smile, even if it’s only mine.
The reason being because I know what it’s like,
to want happiness, but to be reminded that life is strife.
So maybe, just maybe,
my smile, as crooked and as simple as it may be,
could cause a crack in a world of hardened hearts,
to share a moment,
a mere moment,
of happy.

Today, and every day onwards,
I will remind myself to be happy.
Because I have learned that there is no purpose in worries,
or letting the harshness of others get to me,
when I accept not my fate,
but the fact that God is always with me.

Copyright © Nadir Keval

10 Tips for Daily Happiness
10 Tips for Daily Happiness 2560 1532 Nadir Keval

In the world we live in, it’s very easy for us to become overwhelmed or sidetracked by the smallest of things. Still, that is no reason for us to allow our circumstances or the words or actions of others deter us from being happy. Life is a roller coaster of ups and downs, as I mentioned in my video a few months back (The Roller Coaster of Life – Nadir Keval), but the thrilling results are worth the struggling climb.

Throughout my journey in entrepreneurship, faith, health, and the other aspects of my life, I’ve found that there are certain things that are great ways to strengthen our relationships with our own selves. Here are 10 tips I’ve come up with over the years:

1. Keep it simple

When you’re ambitious, or have a lot of things on your plate, it’s fairly easy to overfill our daily to-do list. I did this for years, before I realized that the saying, “Slow and steady wins the race,” is one of the wisest things ever said, especially for one who leads a life in need of self-discipline and unrelenting drive. My suggestion would be to stick to no more than 3-5 things on your daily list of tasks. I guarantee, that will be enough to keep you busy, because in a day, things are bound to come up that are out of your control, and keeping a semi-short list of tasks will help you accomplish your daily goals, while also not leaving you feeling overwhelmed or unaccomplished at the end of the day. If you finish those things, you can always add more things, one by one.

2. Pray

A relationship with God is one of the greatest blessings one can have. It is something that is available to all of us. All that’s required of us is that we reach out for it and respect it. Every person has their own faith, but I can only speak of my own experiences as a Muslim. Amongst the things I love most about my faith is the beauty of prayer and supplication. Through five daily prayers, I am blessed with 5 short vacations, where I can detach from my struggles and goals, and connect with Allah and with my self. Through supplication, I always have someone to speak to when I feel overwhelmed or need help in coming to a decision. The beauty of whom I speak to when supplicating is that He, Allah, is capable of all things and wants what is best for me. How beautiful a feeling it is, to know for certain that I will be okay, and will never be alone, as long as I have faith and prayer.

3. Eat

We live in a world that confuses me. Either we eat too much or we eat too little. Personally, I consider food to be the artistic tools God has given us, with which we can create pieces of art to not only enjoy through vision, but can enjoy as nourishment. Some of these artistic pieces God has given us are art in themselves (try a cold mango on a hot day, and you’ll see what I mean)! My advice: eat well, eat often, and eat pure. Strike balance in your meals and in your day. As the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) said, “The vessels the children of Adam (AS) mistreat most is the stomach. Eat as though your stomach is in three parts. One part for food, one part for water, and one part for air.” (paraphrased)

4. Stay Active

To love food is a great adventure, but just as important as it is for us to enjoy the food that nourishes us, it’s just as important for us to stay active and take care of the body we’re nourishing. Even if it means doing something active for 30 minutes a day, or taking the stairs instead of the elevator or escalator. Start small, and keep moving forward. Do this for you. For some ideas, and more to come, check out my food adventures!

5. Reflect

We live in a day and age that’s all about constantly being on the go, constantly doing “productive” things in order to stay afloat in this world of constant competition. What only the successful realize is that there is a huge amount of benefit to simply taking a few moments for you every day. Turn off all of your electronics, wear something comfortable, and do simply sit and relax. Think about your life, your experiences, your goals, your heart, and your faith. Just think, and find the good in all aspects of your life, especially the things that seem bad, all in order to find peace within.

6. Me-time

I can’t express enough how important it is to do something every day that is just for you. It makes all the difference in your life, in your mental health, in your happiness, in your success, in your peace. Designate one hour per day, without fail, towards doing something just for you. The pressure of the world and of life and those who surround you will make this a difficult task, but do it for you. It’s of the utmost importance.

7. Interact

Solitude is sometimes a phenomenally beneficial thing, and I can attest to how much it’s helped me get things done in my journey towards the fulfillment of my dreams. That said, at times, it could also result in loneliness. We are creatures of companionship. Interacting with others helps us feel and stay connected. It helps us come up with new ideas, and new understandings of the world and the people in it. As I mentioned before, life is about balance, and in the matter of interacting with others, this balancing concept is very important. Spend time on your own, take time to take care of yourself, but be sure to interact with others, to make friends, and to spend time with those who make you happy and inspire positivity in your life.

8. Write

Growing up, we would always hear about girls keeping diaries or journals, and if a boy were to do it, he would be teased for being girly – absolutely nonsensical and childish behavior. Some of the most successful people in the world, men and women, have kept journals as they strived towards achieving their goals. Begin writing. It’s a therapeutic way to keep your self focused, disciplined, and of clear mind. If it were not for my starting to write, by the will of Allah, I probably wouldn’t be where I am today. Though I still have a long way to go, I hope to one day be the owner of a library full of my journals, insha Allah.

9. Sleep

We’ve heard about the importance since we were children. They say you must get 8-10 hours of sleep every night for the sake of your body, mind, and soul. There are many benefits to sleeping well, and that involves more than just the amount of time you spend sleeping. It also includes your conditions of your environment (a hot or cold room, lights being on, your computer buzzing away, etc), what you sleep on, whether or not you go to bed refreshed and calm, and so much more. Be sure to sleep well, and listen to your body. You may be early bird or a night owl. Regardless of which one you are, listen to your body.

10. Smile!

Sometimes, one of the best things we can do when we’re feeling down is force a smile. It can act as inspiration for a real smile 🙂 A smile is one of the things in life that can alleviate pain and sorrow at times when we feel like there is no reason to smile. Not only that, the Prophet (SAW) said that a smile is a form of charity. I’m not sure of how it is in other parts of the world, but I often try to smile at everyone I meet or cross eyes with, and the return of those smiles and the happiness it brings is indescribable. Smile, you’ll change lives…if not the lives of others, it’ll change your own life.

Now, I’d like to hear from all of you! Do you have any ideas or tips of your own as to how to bring about daily happiness? Leave a comment below and get the discussion started :)!

Poem: Unmet Dream
Poem: Unmet Dream 1600 1145 Nadir Keval

I miss her
I don’t know why.
I don’t know how.
I just miss her.

I’ve dreamt of our wedding day.
I’ve had nightmares that she was taken from me.
I’ve imagined taking her out,
romancing her,
loving her,
watching her smile.
I’ve imagined us having disagreements,
and trying to find a solution,
only to find that the only way that made sense,
was living and loving,
to make each other happy.

I’ve spent my entire life preparing to be hers.
I’ve felt the serenity of wrapping my arms around her.
One hand between her shoulders,
holding her close to me,
One hand on the small of her back,
reminding her that I will always support her.

I’ve lived a life fulfilling my dreams,
but she is one dream I need
to step out of my thoughts,
and become my reality.
I do miss her, this is true,
but the bittersweet truth is,
I still have yet to meet her.

Copyright © Nadir Keval

Has Allah Forgotten Me?
Has Allah Forgotten Me? 1366 768 Nadir Keval

Question:

Assalamu alaikum, brother, I wanted to thank you because some of your posts have helped me with life. But I wanted to ask you about some things, kindly link me tosome materials regarding hope and trust in Allah and how I can cope with depression and anxiety please? We’re going through an armada of health, financial, and psychological problems and I can’t stand seeing my mother cry. I am an ‘alright’ following Muslim but I feel that Allah has forgotten me.

Response:

Wa alaikum assalaam,

Insha Allah, this reaches you in the best state of health and Imaan. I’m glad to hear that my work has been beneficial to you and has helped you, Alhamdulillah.

First off, I would like to remind you that often, we feel that Allah has forgotten us, but the truth is usually that we aren’t doing our part to get closer to Him. Look at it this way, if you met someone that you wanted to have in your life because you believed they would be able to help change your life for the better, how hard would you work to try to get and maintain that person’s attention? You would probably also put a lot of effort into gaining that person’s approval and satisfaction. See, the thing is, we put forth so much effort towards those who are simply people and have no real control over our life’s condition without the help and provision of Allah, but we hardly put any effort towards gaining that relationship with Allah, who is the One that has control over our affairs and can help us through anything.

There are a few articles that I’ve written on my blog that relate to what you’re going through. I will list them below. I would, however, also like to share some advice with you as a person who has also gone through similar struggles time and time again in his life. Honestly, the greatest key towards betterment and solutions to our life problems is building on our relationship with Allah. What I would suggest to you is to start increasing your Ibadah, Dua, and Dhikr. Start working on perfecting your Salah, wake up for Tahajjud and make dua for what you’re wanting, and try to constantly keep your mouth moving with Dhikr like saying, “Astaghfirullah,” or “Alhamdulillah,” or “Subhanallah,” etc. That is the same advice my sheikh and friend gave me, and honestly, it helped me remain calm through all my struggles, helped me see light in the darkest corners of my life, and simply made me happier. Try working on this yourself first, and after a week or so of consistent practice, ask your mother to join you, motivating, helping, and supporting her in doing it with you. This will build a sense of unified peace between you (and others in you home if you have them join you as well), and will give you all a sense of peace amongst what appears to be the chaos of your life’s condition right now.

Remember, it’s all about your perception of things. Often, we think our condition is horrible, but that’s only because we are so focused in on what we’re going through that we forget to look at all that’s happening around us, and when that happens, whether we know it or not, a small part of us becomes ungrateful for all that we’ve been blessed with. The struggles and challenges we face in our lives are opportunities Allah is giving us to grow closer to Him and to grow stronger as individuals. Remember, Allah says that He never burdens a soul beyond what it can bear (Quran 2:286), and the Prophet (SAW) said that there is no calamity that strikes a believer, even if it is as small as the prick of a thorn, except that it expiates/removes the sins of that believer.

Allah is giving you an opportunity. Take it. Become better Muslims than you already are, grow closer to Him, and remember to look at those around you or around the world who are struggling far more than you (there’s always SOMEONE that’s struggling more than we are), and be thankful for what you have.

Those are my suggestions for your first steps, and if you’d like to discuss things further or in more detail, you are more than welcome to email me at mail@nadirkeval.com. Everything we discuss will remain confidential, insha Allah.

I hope this was of some help. Below are the articles from my blog that I feel may relate to your situation. Take care.

Wassalaamu alaikum,

– Nadir Keval (www.nadirkeval.com)

—————————————————————

Question: Why Are Some People Tested More Than Others? – Nadir Keval

To Be Happy – Nadir Keval

The Seed Of All Success – Nadir Keval

Creating Crutches – Nadir Keval

These are just some of the articles on my blog that relate to your situation. To be honest, what you’re going through is very common (which is a good thing, because it shows you that you’re not alone and that since others have been able to overcome it, so can you, alhamdulillah!), so I’ve written quite a few articles pertaining to situations and conditions similar to yours. You can find them in the mentoring archive on my blog.

Quit Quitting
Quit Quitting 4288 2848 Nadir Keval

I’ve spent a good chunk of my life quitting – afraid of what others may say if I failed or if I made a mistake, if I didn’t do things the same way others would, or sometimes, if I made others look bad by doing something better than they did. I figured, why bother with taking all those risks? If I just make up some excuse, I’ll be alright and won’t be the laughing stock or the enemy of those around me. It just seemed safer that way. Little did I know that after spending years with that state of mind, I would be left feeling so unaccomplished and unsatisfied with myself that I would almost give up on living life itself, and would simply accept an existence for the sake of existing.

Perhaps it’s human nature, or something instilled in me specifically that needed to be excavated after years of living under a thick layer of guilt for the sake of others, but eventually I had had enough. It wasn’t until I started to feel sorry for myself that I realized that I was accepting a pathetic approach to life, and that I needed to change. I had two choices: give up completely or break through my comfort zone and get the happiness I know I deserved. To be honest, this is something I have to remind myself of every once in a while, even now, because it had become so natural to me to evade challenges and risk. Funny to hear that coming from an entrepreneur and artist, but I guess that deep down, I chose these career and life paths because they were the ones that compelled me to break through my shell and find my true strengths and life-purpose.

It’s funny, because at times, I would see these pictures of people lifting weights and working out, talking about how they were once living unhealthy and unhappy lives, and that one day they just decided that enough was enough, leading to them making these remarkable changes you would think were meant to be part of those fake before and after pictures you see on infomercials. I would look at these people, read their profiles online, watch their interviews and whatnot, and would be left feeling inspired to make a change in my own life. Then, just as quickly, I would realize that I had no idea how to actually make that change. The same applied towards those entrepreneurs you hear or read about, that became successful after working hard at their crafts and becoming the successes they aspired to become. I looked at all of these people around me that were getting things done while I sat here feeling sorry for myself that I was “trying” but wasn’t getting anywhere.

That’s when I realized two things:

  1. Everyone has his or her own time. Sure, some people may find something you struggle with to come easy, but you may find something they struggle with to come easy. So, instead of worrying about others and why things are working out for them instead of you, stop your complaining, embrace and enjoy what you have and where you are in life, and move forward. Do your part to acquire what you’re aspiring towards (with wisdom), and then put it aside in your mind and focus on the other things you can influence. When the time’s right for you, what’s meant for you will fall into place.
  2. You cannot just look at the end result of someone’s journey. To truly appreciate and learn from someone’s journey, and to be not only inspired but also motivated to do something with what you’ve learned through their success, you must take their entire journey into account. Many of us see the flowery and beautiful end results, and they shine so bright that we become blinded to the true and grimy struggle they had to go through to get to where they are. Be willing to rough it through the struggles of success, and recognize that hard work is a simple understatement to describe what it really takes to achieve your dreams. If you’re not willing to work THAT hard for it, you don’t want it bad enough, so first, make yourself want it more, then work your butt off to make it happen.

These thoughts and experiences helped me come to terms with my own self and my own journey. I realized that instead of quitting for the sake of others, or worrying about whether I’ll fail or succeed, I just needed to do my best in my own way to get what I want. I want to get into better shape, so instead of feeling sorry for myself for not enjoying or tolerating the same workouts my friends did to get in shape, I’m going to find my own path towards achieving my ideal. In this case, for example, I love to cook (if you’ve seen any of my Instagram pics, you’d know how much I love to adventure into the world of culinary arts), and so I use that strength and asset towards helping me get into shape. I also love martial arts and more hands-on activities like hiking, biking, fishing, and building things, and so I use those as my ways to stay active. Those are my starting challenge points, and when I’m ready, I’ll challenge myself to take it a step further and do more, insha Allah (God-willing). My point is, we all have things we enjoy, and there is no universal way to get everything done. Pave your own path and don’t stop till you get to your destination. Then, set a new goal and keeping paving. You don’t always have to know where every step you take towards that path will land. God will reveal those things to you as they come – you just have to be open to accepting the good from them and putting aside the negative thoughts from the whispers of Shaitaan (Satan) or those of the people around you. Your family and friends may mean well, but if their approach doesn’t work for you, it’s okay to steer clear – you don’t have time, and they probably don’t have interest in changing their entire selves just to accommodate your needs. Success and happiness are subjective, so why look to others to validate those things? Only you and God know what’s in your heart and what truly makes you happy, so keep that conversation between the two of you.

Photo credit: iyuphoto via Flickr
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