islam

Question: What if I’ve already committed adultery? Do I have a chance at making things right?
Question: What if I’ve already committed adultery? Do I have a chance at making things right? 2000 1125 Nadir Keval

My last article, “Pre-Marital Relations, Teens, and Islam” got A LOT of readers and feedback, Alhamdulillah. Opened my eyes to how many people really struggle with the issue. One particular question I received stood out to me most, inclining me towards sharing it with all of you.

The Question:

okay, about that marital affair thingy, what if someone has done something that according to your post is wrong and that someone wants to make things right? is there any chance they can do things right? if they are still in that relationship and they regret doing what they did?

The Response:

Assalaamu alaikum,

Often, we find ourselves feeling as though we are unable to turn back, or have no chance at repentance, but the truth of the matter is, repentance is always an option. As Allah says in the Quran:

“And those who do not invoke with Allah another deity (i.e. commit Shirk) or kill the soul which Allah has forbidden [to be killed], except by right, and do not commit unlawful sexual intercourse. And whoever should do that will meet a penalty. Multiplied for him is the punishment on the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide therein humiliated – Except for those who repent, believe and do righteous work. For them Allah will replace their evil deeds with good. And ever is Allah Forgiving and Merciful.” – (25:68-70)

Notice that in this verse alone, you see that Allah promises His Forgiveness and Mercy for those who do three things:

  1. Repent: to repent is to not only seek forgiveness, but to make a sincere effort to not repeat the action that inclined you to repent
  2. Believe: it is one thing to claim that we are strong in faith, and it’s another to apply all that we know and to make it a part of what makes us who we are – ensure that worship and obedience of Allah is the core of your existence, and that every aspect of your life including your career, your relationships (with family, a potential spouse, friends, etc.), your health, etc. are all tailored around your faith.
  3. Do righteous work: taking steps towards making an effort to do righteous work through following the examples and guidelines in the Quran and Sunnah – doing righteous work is a way of showing Allah that you want to get closer to Him, want to increase your good deeds to outweigh sin, and that you want to make a change in your lifestyle

I am not a sheikh or scholar, and this explanation is not one of Tafseer that I have studied. It is rather, my understanding on the topic based on what I have learned of Islam over years of attending Halaqas, discussing the topic with scholars and students of Islam, and counseling.

What I would suggest to you is to do what I mentioned above, based on the verses. If you and the person with whom you committed zina are interested in pursuing marriage, cleanse the situation by keeping your distance from each other, meeting only in the presence of a mahram, and take steps towards marriage in a way that is in accordance to the Quran and Sunnah. If this is something that the other person is not pleased with, remember that there is no value in the obedience of the creation if it leads to the disobedience of the Creator. Also, this will bring clarity to you as to how good this person would be for you in the case of marriage. Remember, marriage in Islam plays many roles, one of which is to be a source of inspiration and support as the couple works towards righteousness and ultimately, a place in Jannah.

I hope this answers your question. If you’d like to follow up, you’re more than welcome to email me at mail@nadirkeval.com and we can set up an appointment to discuss things more. I look forward to hearing from you, insha Allah. Take care of yourself.

Wassalaamu alaikum,

Nadir Keval (www.nadirkeval.com)

Question: I suffer from an eating disorder. Am I sinning and how can I get better?
Question: I suffer from an eating disorder. Am I sinning and how can I get better? 1600 1254 Nadir Keval

I contribute my articles, quotes, and input to one of the biggest Islamic blogs today, The Beauty Of Islam – an honour and privilege to say the least, Alhamdulillah. Through working with this site and my own counseling efforts, I have seen some things that truly reveal the hidden struggles many face every day, but are unable to bring to light in fear of ridicule or judgment, or because a lack of knowledge of where they should go for help.

A little while back, we received a message that inclined me towards wanting to post my response in hopes of being help to others who may be going through the same or a similar struggle. I will keep the question anonymous, so as to maintain the privacy of the person who asked this question. What saddens me most is that people are raised or conditioned to think that they are in sin for facing a problem that is not completely in their hands. We all have the ability and opportunity to grow and overcome, and we all must recognize that with sincerity in thought and action, Allah is capable of forgiving any and all sins. Situations like these (the question below), however, are more psychology and mental health related, and should not been seen sins per se.

I would love to hear feedback and more input on how I could help those who are going through this struggle or any other struggle like it. Please share your thoughts in the comments section below.

Question:

Salaams.. I’m a teenager.. I’m completely ashamed to admit this but I occasionally suffer from bulimia.. Does Islam guide one on how to eat? Or are there any fast quick effects to rid myself of an eating disorder because I know it’s a huge sin

Answer:

Wa alaikum assalaam 🙂

First off, I would say, don’t be too hard on yourself. Refrain from considering yourself victimized or to be someone that is full of sin and incapable of recompense or revival.

What you are experiencing is one of many different struggles and challenges Muslims face on a daily basis. You are not alone in this, and there are others who have not only been in the same place as you, but have successfully overcome.

There are few things to change when it comes to matters like these, in order to see success. First and foremost is the recognition of there being the need for a change and a solution. Second, is to look at your body as being a gift from Allah, and to take care of that gift and give it its rights through providing it with the physical, mental, and spiritual nourishment it requires and deserves. Third, is to actually act on that knowledge.

In regards to eating well, the Sunnah of the Prophet (SAW) is to eat and drink as though your body is made of three components: food, drink, and air. He said that we should fill 1/3 of our stomachs with food, 1/3 with drink, and 1/3 with air.

As you eat, ensure that what you eat is in moderation, is healthy, and is enjoyable. Remember that in order for you to take care of the gift Allah has provided you (i.e. your body), you must fuel it regularly, take care of it, and not hurt it in any way.

In addition to this, focus on building your relationship with Allah. Increase your worship, pray more often (within the bounds of the Sunnah), and spend time with fellow Muslims.

These are just some of my tips. You may be contacted by one of the other Beauty of Islam admins for a response. I do, however, work as a mentor, and would be more than happy to work with you in helping you overcome. When you’re ready to, you’re more than welcome to contact me at mail@nadirkeval.com, and we can discuss things further, and work together to help you overcome this challenge you’ve been blessed with. Remember, there is nothing Allah allows into your life, that you are not capable of overcoming, or will not ultimately benefit you. I look forward to hearing back from you, insha Allah. Take care!

Wassalaamu alaikum,

– Nadir Keval (www.nadirkeval.com)

You can find more questions and answers like these on my Tumblr blog: nadirkeval.tumblr.com

Question: Why are some people tested more than others?
Question: Why are some people tested more than others? 1681 1189 Nadir Keval

Question:

It seems unfair at times as you seem to have it all. May Allah bless you with more inshaAllah, but at times I find it all too much as you really seem to have a great life. A great family, good food, great job… Why are some people tested more than the others. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t envy you but can’t help but wonder. Why you, why not me?

Answer:

Assalaamu alaikum,

Ramadan Mubarak! May Allah grant you contentment and satisfaction with Allah, His Decree, and His Provision, and bless you with the heights of happiness and success in this life and the Next. Ameen.

Alhamdulillah, I do have a great life, but this should not be misconstrued as being a life without struggle, strife, and challenges. I have experienced many different phases in my life, including health scares, desperation for enough food to eat in a day, heartbreak, family discourse, and more. For all of it, I say, with all sincerity, Alhamdulillah.

What makes my life seem so great is the approach I take towards it, wa lillahil hamd. I believe in being grateful for all that we have and recognizing that there may be some things that happen in our lives that we don’t necessarily want or expect, but those are often the same things we later learn to be amongst the most beneficial towards our growth and happiness.

The question of why some are tested more than others is often asked, and has many responses based on wisdom. The first thing to understand though, before addressing that question, is that tests come in different forms. Just because a person gains wealth, does not mean that they are not being tested. Their test comes in how they use that wealth, and whether or not they show gratitude for what Allah has blessed them with. Just because a person’s life seems to be in order, doesn’t mean that they aren’t being tested in their own capacity.

Some of the many reasons for some people being “tested” more than others include:

  • Allah is protecting you from something. For years, I have wanted to get married, but things haven’t panned out, and often I’ve been left hurt, betrayed, and changed. In situations like that, I am getting tested, and being saved. The test comes in how I deal with the situation, and being saved comes from the fact that I look back at the experiences I had with those individuals, or look at where they are now, and recognize that I have been blessed to have not gotten married to them because of who they truly were then or who they are now.
  • The time for your success is not ideal yet, and Allah is preparing you for that time. It took me many years to see my businesses reach any level of success. During that proves, I was tested with patience, perseverance, and reliance on Allah. It was a trying time, and after hard work and a lot of time spent in prayer and supplication, weeping and seeking the help of Allah, I got what I was looking for. The difference though was that I got what I needed and not necessarily what I wanted, and for that, I am eternally grateful.
  • You are being strengthened. It often takes years for most people before they see success. During this time, they are given the option of becoming stronger or giving up. Those who choose to become stronger begin to work harder, build their patience, and increase their threshold for struggle. Betterment is always a blessing, so it’d be wise to make the most of it.
  • You are being given the opportunity to grow closer to Allah. It was definitely through the hardships and struggles I faced when it came to my health, relationships, and career, that I grew closest to Allah. I knew that I was being tested and that Allah wouldn’t forsake me, because He knows that in the depths of my heart, I know that He is the only One that could ever save me from my misery. And so, I increased my worship, worked harder than ever, and trained my mind to understand and accept that Allah is going to take care of me as long as I recognize Him to be above everything and my closest friend.

Akhi/Ukhti, it’s important to understand that whatever trials and tribulations we go through, as well as any success we may experience are all blessings and tests at the same time. My life is only the way it is not because of an absence of trials and tribulations, but because of a connection with Allah that I have worked a long time to establish, and will be working the rest of my life to completely perfect. I have my down times, I have my moments of despair and desperation, but that is because I am human and capable of error. Not because I have more talent, skill, or even Love from Allah. I don’t quantify those things in my life. Instead, I just work hard at everything I do, and make Islam my core.

So, my advice to you, if you’re going through a tough time and need an out is to remember and apply the lessons from this verse:

“And whoever has cognizance of Allah – He will make for him a way out…and will provide for him from where he does not expect. And whoever relies upon Allah – then He is sufficient for him. Indeed, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Allah has already set for everything a [decreed] extent.” – Quran (65:2-3)

Applying this means building a relationship with Allah so that you become completely cognizant of all that He is capable of, and thus, become patient and content as you strive and wait for your efforts to pay off. Build on your faith and relationship with Allah, work incredibly hard, and be patient. You are in the blessed month of Ramadan, so take advantage of this opportunity to build your faith and make Islam the core of every aspect of your life. I wrote about this in a recent article, which I feel you may benefit from: “The Seed Of All Success”

Finally, remember the hadith of the Prophet (SAW), where he said:

“No soul will die until it has received its provision in full and completed its allotted lifespan.” – Prophet Muhammad (SAW)

So, don’t worry about where you are in life right now. Be grateful for it because Allah has His Wisdom behind it. And take this as an opportunity to grow closer to Allah, to grow stronger in your character, and to take this time to make the most of everything you’ve been blessed with. Dwell not on the things that bring you hardship, but find hope in that which you have been blessed with, good and bad.

I hope this answers your question. Jazakallahu khairun for the admiration and dua. Take care.

Wassalaamu alaikum,

– Nadir Keval (www.nadirkeval.com)

Question: Seen enough of what the world has to offer. What do I do?
Question: Seen enough of what the world has to offer. What do I do? 1920 1080 Nadir Keval

Question:

Brother Nadir, I wanted to ask your perception on a certain idea. I feel that Allah has shown me enough of what this limited world has to offer. I don’t think the world can get any more badder from personal experience and observation of others life, and Allah has given us so much things to be grateful for, that it makes me feel guilty of even being a part of this world. Because surely I cannot return. So what would you do? Does it makes sense? :/

Answer:

Assalaamu alaikum,

Ramadan Mubarak!

I think I understand what you’re asking, and there are a few points that cross my mind. Your message sparked many thoughts into my mind, the strongest of which was that if you feel that Allah has shown you enough, then make an effort and make dua. If you feel that He has shown you enough good, ask for more. If you feel that He has shown you enough bad, ask for less, ask for strength and guidance, and ask Him to make you grateful. Also, because you have not yet seen what the future has to hold, you don’t really know what is out there.

Look at it this way: as a child, you would look at up the kitchen countertop and wonder what it would be like to see the top of the counter. You would ask your parents to show it to you, so they would lift you up to see, and you would be grateful. Eventually, you grew up, and that countertop was easily accessible to you, so you forgot about how great it was when you got to see it as a child. It became a norm, a thing of no significance. Still, you would go walking in downtown and would see tall buildings, wondering what was in them. Then, you grow up, get a job, and are working in a tall building as well. Eventually, going to work and being in that building would become a norm and routine for you, and if you didn’t enjoy your job, you may even dread going to that tall building you once dreamt about. So, you would begin to wonder what it would be like to be on the top floor of the building, to live life as the boss. So, you’d work hard and eventually would reach the top of the building. There, you would face the challenges of running a business, the responsibilities of leading a balanced life, and trying to continue to build the business. It will have its days of being overwhelming and difficult, and if you were to let those things get to you, you’d begin to dread being the boss, and would hate being at the top of the building, dreaming of going back to your old job as a worker in the middle of the tall building. You may then even tell yourself that you’ve had enough of this life and that want to die. Then, eventually, when it is written for you, you pass away. As you lay in the grave, your soul being asked its questions, you will wish you were alive again, so that you could be grateful for all that Allah gave you. You would wish you were at the top of the building again, so you could take the opportunity to help as many people as you could because you had been blessed with so much. You would try to make life easier for the people that worked below you, because you were once in their position and know what kinds of things would benefit them. Then, you would realize how blessed you were as that teen, where Allah gave you the resources, support, and guidance to do well in your pursuits and get a job in a tall building as you had once dreamed. And you would be thankful to Allah for giving you that sense of curiousity and ambition as a child that lead to you want to always see more. But alas, you will find yourself laying in the grave, no chance of going back to ask Allah for forgiveness or to show Him your gratitude for all that He blessed you with.

So, consider some lessons from this story:

  • There is always more that we have left to see in this world, and there will never come a time when things will be perfect. Instead of being sad over the fact that you feel the world can’t get any worse in your personal life or around the world, step out of sadness and step up into action and start making changes to help yourself and others lead better lives. Don’t be amongst those who complain and fall into depressed solitude when facing struggle. Instead, be amongst those who recognize that Allah has promised us that “Allah does not change the condition of a people until they change that which is within themselves.” (Quran 13:11) Make a change in your own life, and then work towards helping others do the same, while being kind, understanding, and patient.
  • No matter how far you get in life, always look back at how things once were and find lessons and reminders to keep you on track and grateful.
  • Always thank Allah and ask Him for forgiveness, because there is no limit to how much we have to be grateful for, and there is no knowing how much we need to seek forgiveness for.
  • If you are unsatisfied with how things are in life, always remember to make dua and to ask Allah for guidance and help. He is capable of all things, so don’t hesitate and don’t be ashamed to ask Him when you’re down or scattered in thought.
  • Our purpose in life is to worship Allah. This is to be done through prayer and supplication, as well as through our careers, seeking knowledge, building relationships, being a part of charitable pursuits, and more. We don’t know how long it will take for us to fulfill our individual roles in this purpose (i.e. we don’t know long we’re meant to live), but it is on us to take advantage of the time we have been given to fulfill our purpose to the best of our abilities until ALLAH sees fit that we no longer continue. And when that will be is not in our knowledge, so it’s always best to not dwell on that, and to instead, place our focus on worshiping Allah through everything we do.

Also, there is no need for you to feel guilty for what Allah has blessed you with. You wouldn’t have it if you weren’t worthy of it. But, what matters now is how you pass this test…will you be grateful, or will you ignore the blessing of Allah has given you?

Ultimately, our lives are gifts from Allah and it’s on us to make the most of life. If you feel as though Allah has shown you enough good, then spend the rest of the time Allah has given you in this life showing Him gratitude by worshiping Him, thanking Him, and striving to live for the sake of goodness of humanity through following the example of the Prophet (SAW). If you feel as though Allah has shown you enough bad in this life, stop being sad about it and make a change towards growth and betterment. Complaining or feeling bad about it won’t make things better. Taking action will.

Allah knows best.

I pray that Allah guides all of us towards being more grateful, patient, and driven, and that this message reaches you in the best of health and Imaan (faith). Take care.

Wassalaamu alaikum,

Nadir Keval (www.nadirkeval.com)

10 Tips For A Better Ramadan
10 Tips For A Better Ramadan 1920 1200 Nadir Keval

Every Ramadan, we set goals and resolutions, and just like New Year resolutions, these are quickly forgotten. The first week of Ramadan has now passed and this is the perfect opportunity to reevaluate and determine where we are and where we can go with our faith, character, and lifestyle. This Ramadan, use these tips (in no particular order) to get yourself back in check. Work hard at making these a reality, and insha Allah, you’ll see positive differences and changes in your relationship with yourself and with Allah. May Allah make these steps beneficial for all of us, and guide us towards that which is best for us to continue with throughout our lives here and in the Hereafter. Ameen.

1. Get out of bed and your bedroom as quickly as possible

Every morning, at least for me, it’s a challenge to get myself out of bed and get to work. I love what I do in my life, and aspire to do so much more every day, but the truth is, sleep is a luxury I would love to indulge in more. Still, with the bed and bedroom come temptations that just aren’t beneficial. For example, laziness becomes something that is so easily attainable, especially if you’re someone who doesn’t work a 9-5, like me, or if you’re a student with classes later in the day. At the time of the Prophet (SAW), they spent so much of their time during Ramadan in worship, hard work towards feeding their families, and more, to the point that many went days, weeks, or sometimes even the entire month with only a few hours of sleep per night. They are examples for us, to show us that they too were human and capable of keeping up. So, get out of bed, get dressed, and get started with your day. It’ll keep you disciplined, on point and focused, and will give you a better night’s sleep when you head to bed every night. For one month, make sacrifices and put your faith before your sleep. You’ve done it for your job, to study for exams, to take care of your kids, and sometimes even to hang out with your friends. Reducing your sleep hours during this one month won’t hurt, especially if you’re using it towards worship. (Remember, I’m not a doctor though, so this may not work for everyone. But, before you write this step off, ask yourself what your intention and reason is behind cutting down sleep.)

2. Eat clean and smart

Oh, the horrifying things Muslims do to themselves when Iftar and Suhoor come around. May Allah guide and forgive us. When you’re eating, it should be for the sake of nourishment and not gluttony. Eat to live. Don’t live to eat. This Ramadan, stick to the natural basics, and avoid anything from a wrapper. Also, avoid sugars and caffeine. Sugar because it won’t keep you nourished for the day, and caffeine because studies have shown that it leads to dehydration. Stick to proteins, fiber-rich foods, fruit, vegetables, nuts, water, and milk. And finally, remember to eat in moderation. The food isn’t going anywhere. Eat small portions, eat clean and nutritious, and eat only at Iftar and Suhoor times. Avoid eating full meals between the two times. If you feel very hungry, drink lots of water and munch on things like fruits, veggies, and nuts.

3. Stay active, but listen to your body

One of the most common things I hear before Ramadan, from others and myself is, “I’m going to work out a lot this Ramadan and just shred the fat away.” I’m going to be straight with you here: no, you’re not. It’s definitely possible for you to shred fat during Ramadan, but that won’t come through aggressive and excessive workouts. It will come through nutrition and workout consistency. Before you start doing your three 2-hour workouts every day (which can be harmful and counter-productive unless planned out with proper knowledge and application of the human body, its needs, and your own unique body’s chemistry), take it one step at a time, and pace yourself. As you get comfortable with one thing, add the next. Most importantly though, listen to your body. Don’t over exert yourself. If you need to rest, rest.

Remember, Ramadan is a time to train your body, mind, and spirit for the year to come, so don’t jump in completely without preparation and by taking on everything at once. Be patient and wise, and take small steps towards your goals.

4. Put your faith first

When you start your day, start it with faith. Work towards getting the faith-related things you had planned for the day done first, so as to avoid procrastination. It’s far too easy to get caught up in your daily activities and to forget the things you had set out to do differently this Ramadan. So, if you are hoping to finish reading the Quran during this month, make some time in the morning before work, school, or anything else, and read a few pages or even a chapter or two. Make it a point to pray as soon as the time for each Salah comes in, and take out some time out of your day to listen or watch a lecture online or at your local Masjid.  The point is, indulge in your faith and make it the root of your life, and you will find yourself cleansed of stress, strife, and mental clutter. (I actually just wrote an article about this: The Seed Of All Success)

5. Make a goal list

It’s really easy to fall of course when we make a mental list of our tasks and don’t write things down. It may seem possible at first, but eventually, things pile up and you forget one or two things here or there, and the next thing you know, you’ve missed something major and fallen off track. Write down your goals for the month. If you already had done so before Ramadan began, take this as an opportunity to revise and renew those goals. This first week was the trial run – your beta phase. Reflect on the last week, think about what you’ve done, what you can do to become better, write down tasks to make it more clear, and then take action and make your goals a reality.

6. Keep a journal

This can do wonders for you when you’re working towards growth in any aspect of life. Keep a journal for each separate goal – one for working out, your career, your Deen, etc. This is a great approach to keeping yourself on track and building motivation to maintaining your goals and aspirations.

7. Give back

One of the best ways to cleanse your mind and soul, and to feel good about yourself is to help others and give back to the community. This is a great way to bring to light one of the main reasons behind why we fast: to understand and recognize that we have so much to be grateful for in our lives. When you are more aware of how privileged we are with all of the things Allah has blessed us with, we are less greedy, more calm and collected, and more patient in dealing with the struggles of life, along with the many other benefits of helping others. And personally, I also believe that giving back is one of the best ways to increase your success and gain more out of what you aspire towards.

8. Learn something new daily

Seeking knowledge is an integral part of Islamic teachings, and it would be unwise to not take advantage of this month as a time to secure a routine or habit of making an effort to learn more on a daily basis. Take out some time every day to watch or listen to a new lecture on Islam or any other beneficial topic, go to your local Masjid, have discussions with your fellow Muslim friends about different topics in Islam, read the Tafseer of the Quran, study Islamic history books, etc. Just do something to learn about your Deen and about other things that will benefit you in this life and in the Next.

9. Take time to meditate

It actually bothers me when people say that Salah is enough meditation for Muslims. It’s one of many ways we can meditate and find a center point. Take up yoga, go for a walk, go fishing, do something that is calming and takes you away from the stresses of every day life. Your faith is one thing, and taking care of your mental clarity and calm is another. They may overlap, but they are two very different things.

10. Stay close to positive friends

“You are the company you keep.” This is amongst the few phrases that holds true in every circumstance. Who and what you keep company with influences and impacts your own character, habits, and interests. Keeping yourself surrounded by those who are beneficial towards your growth as a person and as a Muslim is key to finding success in this life and the Next. It gives us the support, base of knowledge and structure, and all else we could gain from being around positive influences. Alhamdulillah, my best friend has always been by my side and it has helped immensely in shaping my character and faith.

11. BONUS: Look sharp

This is one of those things where my opinion takes lead and forces itself on to my tasks, making me go against the rules and add another tip to this list. Keep a strong image through your character, looking good while maintaining the halal and Sunnah, and staying clean and fresh are key components of what makes Islam and Muslims so amazing. Here’s the truth: because Islam is a way of life, Muslims represent it at every turn. While we are open to flaws and mistakes due to us being human, we are still capable of doing our best to look our best, holding character in our personalities and sense of style. So, take a second, read up on style, check out fashion houses and their artistic appeal, and create your own personal style (while sticking to the Sunnah as much as possible – constantly trying to grow in faith).

Ramadan 2013 – Reflections and Changes
Ramadan 2013 – Reflections and Changes 1920 1047 Nadir Keval

Ramadan last year was…different. To be honest, I don’t think there’s any other way to describe it. There was so much going on in my life, and it was all stuff that was overwhelming, stressful, and confusing. Looking back, it wasn’t a time of much clarity for me. I went through a dark time, and was quite unhappy, making it very difficult for me to focus on my faith. Through the help and support of friends, I was able to push myself towards moving forward from the things that ailed me, and found myself in a new place, where I recognized that I had the ability to achieve anything. It was as though life had thrown me to the wind, and instead of being blown away, I was left standing while the wind cleansed my life of the clutter and negativity. Alhamdulillah.

Throughout this last year, I have grown greatly, Alhamdulillah. I have been able to refine the things that I was always so passionate about, and through this process, I have found a new level of peace and clarity within my personal faith. I knew that there was a need for me to grow closer to God, and so I began working on my relationship with Him. It was difficult, and it made what would usually be considered easy and simple become overwhelmingly difficult.

Without going into details of my personal sins, I will share some of the points I grew to recognize as being the key aspects of what helped me find peace and happiness:

  • Be optimistic: It’s so easy to be pessimistic about things, and to expect the worst. It’s so easy to think that everything is just not going to work out, and expect people to always be out to get you, or to make it seem like there’s no point in trying harder to become better. What’s difficult is to be at peace with life, no matter what comes your way. That comes through being optimistic and recognizing that everything that happens in life is part of His Plan. Sure, it’s more difficult, but once you learn to trust Allah, this becomes the secret ingredient to happiness in life. I’ll be writing a separate article about this topic later this week, so be sure to stay tuned for that!
  • Seek progression, not perfection: Many of us get down on ourselves when we find that we’re struggling with living up to the expectations of trying to be perfect in what we do. Well, at least, that’s something I went through. Upon realizing that I shouldn’t worry about the results, and instead should just focus on trying to be the best I could be as possible, life became much more peaceful.
  • Understand that you’re human: We all make mistakes, and beating ourselves up about it won’t do us any good. Instead, recognize that you’re human and part of being human is going through ups and downs in almost every aspect of life. What matters is the next thing in this list…
  • Never give up: Life is a series of tests and struggles, in which we focus on trying to accomplish goals in order to survive and thrive. The problem with this can sometimes be that things don’t always go our way. When this happens, it’s of utmost importance that we refuse to give up and continuously strive towards accomplishing our goals. Roll with the punches, and make the most of what life brings your way, but be patient and relentless in making your dreams a reality.

This Ramadan, let’s take in all we can from the lessons we learned over the past year, set some new goals, and try to make some changes. As a method of following through with this initiative, I’m challenging all of you to do things this Ramadan that are your own personal ways of making a change, be it through praying more, reading Quran more often, going out and volunteering somewhere, helping someone, giving Da’wah, etc. During the month, take pictures, record videos, write blog posts, etc. and hashtag them with #nkmakeachange. Let’s inspire each other to build on helping people as much as we can, and share our experiences. Make the most of this Ramadan, insha Allah! I pray that Allah helps and guides all of us towards making positive changes during this month, and that He gives us the strength, discipline, passion, and commitment to carry on with our changes after Ramadan as well. Ameen!

Belief In The Unseen
Belief In The Unseen 1186 768 Nadir Keval

In the last couple of days, some thoughts and reminders have come to mind that have definitely made it easier to deal with all of the things that I’ve been facing lately, Alhamdulillah. I felt that it would be good to share this with all of you, not only for your own personal struggles, but in consideration of the horrifying things happening in Gaza right now. May Allah grant them peace, victory, and an easy entrance into Jannah! Ameen!

A friend of mine, who is currently attending one of the major Islamic universities of the world, masha Allah, told me about the story of Musa (AS) and his people, when Allah commanded them to go towards the waterfront. He explained how this was a command from Allah in response to their Dua for peace and freedom, and as a way in which Allah was protecting AND testing the people. However, Allah had only commanded that they go to the waterfront, and didn’t give them any information about what to do when they got there. With their faith and reliance on Allah, they headed towards the water. When they got there, Allah was silent. My friend explained how this was Allah’s way of testing them in their patience, as well as in their reliance upon Him. He had them wait and continued this test for so long, that Firawn (Pharoah) and his army became visible in the distance. This was when the major test began. The people of Musa (AS) began to panic. They asked Musa (AS), “Where is our Rubb (Lord)? Where is the answer to our prayers? We are surely going to be killed at the hands of Firawn! Survival is completely impossible!” At this point, Musa (AS), unaltered by these concerns responded saying, “I do not believe in what I see, but I believe in the Unseen (i.e. Allah).” It was at this point that Musa (AS) passed the test, and thus Allah sent down the order to him (AS) that he should strike the ground with his staff. From there on, we know the story of how the body of water split, and the believers were blessed with freedom.

Note: This story is one that I asked a local sheikh here in Vancouver about (for confirmation of its authenticity), and he said that the details are uncertain, but this is one of those stories that we accept and don’t accept, meaning that we take it as a story of morals and lessons, but do not use it for making rulings on matters.

Imagine yourself being in the position of the people of Musa (AS). Would you have reacted in the same way they initially did? Or would you have reacted in the way Musa (AS) did? Many of us face major struggles and difficulties in life, some more than others, but ultimately, we all face what Allah knows we are capable of handling. Never will Allah burden us with more than we can bear, as He states in the Quran:

“Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity. It will have [the consequence of] what [good] it has gained, and it will bear [the consequence of] what [evil] it has earned.” – Quran (2:286)

Struggles will come and go, sometimes as tests, sometimes as punishments. Regardless, they are blessings in disguise. If we overcome and hold strong to our faith, repent, and try our best to become better Muslims, Allah will reward us. Allahu Akbar! How Merciful and Incredible Allah is! Who else do you know that would punish us and then reward us right after for handling the punishment properly? No one but Allah! And sometimes, we may wonder, if He has forgiven us, then why are we being punished? The truth is, we will all be held accountable for our actions, and unless it is by the Blessing of Allah that He forgives us of it completely, it’s a Mercy from Him upon us that He punishes us in this life rather than in the Next. Be thankful for that, and take responsibility for your past actions, but do not let this pull you down or make you lose hope in Him. Instead, build on your faith and become stronger in your certainty that He will answer your Dua. Often, we start on the a path that is pleasing to Him, or set goals that would be beneficial to us in this life and the Next, but our desires and the whispers of Shaitaan lead us astray. That doesn’t invalidate our initial goals and intentions. It merely means that we have to get back on track in our faith and worship, and turn to Allah with complete conviction and cognizance that He will grant us what we seek.

Intentions & Actions

When we are faced with struggles or challenges, we have to take a moment to stop and think about how we’re approaching the issue. Our intentions may be pure, but if our actions don’t match that purity, it’ll be incredibly difficult to find success or peace. Looking at how Musa (AS) dealt with the situation, we can see that he maintained his faith and reliance on Allah, regardless of how impossible the situation seemed. Often, when we see ourselves in a predicament that seems to have no possible end in our favor, being human, we panic. We forget Allah because our emotions overcome us, and sometimes, we even go as far as blaming Allah, thinking that He has not fulfilled His Promise. What a horrible state of mind to be in! Allah is never to blame for the things that happen to us in this life or the Next. As the above verse mentioned, every soul will bear the consequences of the good it has gained and of the evil it has gained. Take responsibility for your actions, and remain steadfast on pleasing Allah in every possible way you can.

Make your eyes look at only that which pleases Allah, make your ears hear only that which pleases Allah, make your hands and feet work only in the path of that which pleases Allah. When you do this, your living will be for the sake of Allah. Every aspect of your life will become a form of worship. Through this, you will gain the love of Allah, insha Allah, and when Allah loves us, He will answer our Dua, will protect us when we seek His Refuge, and will not hesitate to grant us what we seek, just as He hesitates to take our souls at the time of death, because He knows how much we detest death. Our struggles may all be different, but that does not demean their weight on our hearts. I assure you that if we turn to Allah and truly submit to Him, we will find our hearts to become light in weight, and we will find ease in dealing with our difficulties.

Dedication to Dua

If you have been making Dua with sincerity, and have strived towards pleasing Allah in every way you can while you await the answer to your Dua, then don’t lose hope. As we saw from the example of the story of Musa (AS) and his people, Allah can bring us a solution through things that seem impossible, as long as we have faith. It does not matter what obstacles come our way, or what we see around us that may make things seem impossible. None of that matters. What matters is our submission to Allah and dedication to our Dua. One of the prerequisites of Dua being answered is knowing, without a shadow of a doubt, that your Dua will be answered. When you have supplicated to Allah, don’t stop asking for what you want until you get it, or until Allah removes it from your heart and mind, or replaces it with something else. You will know when one of those three things has happened when Allah gives you complete ease, serenity, and certainty in the matter, and where you are to go from there. If you are confused as to what the answer is, ask Him for clarity and guidance again. No matter the circumstances, no matter how impossible it may seem for your dua to be answered, do NOT stop asking Allah for what you seek. And while you do this, ensure that every step you take towards addressing it is in the way that is most pleasing to Allah. Sometimes, that means keeping your distance from the matter, and focusing solely on dua and perfecting your actions in the other aspects of life. Sometimes, it means doing things that have been prescribed by Allah and His Messenger (SAW) as steps to take, which all depend on the specific situation you are in. What matters most, however, is that you never give up on what you seek from Allah until He makes things clear for you in your heart in such a way that you don’t even feel as though you are forcing or convincing yourself to take any action that goes against your heart. Sometimes, we are so afraid of pain, or of displeasing others, or of having to continue in difficulty, that we accept things that we don’t fully like, just to be able to move forward. But that won’t solve our problem, but rather will simply postpone and make it heavier, thus making it even more difficult to address in the future. It’s simple: Don’t lose hope in Allah answering your dua. Ever.

“Make Dua like a child asks his parent’s for candy. The child doesn’t stop asking until he gets his candy.”

Things may seem difficult, things may seem impossible, and sometimes, people around you will say things to make you want to lose hope, but remember that hope lies with Allah, and no one else. He Alone is the One capable of doing all things, and from what He has decreed, no one can escape, whether what is decreed seems to be good or bad to us. Even if you feel like you are trapped or stuck in a situation, have faith and hope in Him, and strive towards what you truly want, asking Him to make things work out with all of the eternal factors that may effect your decisions. He will give you that strength, and will grant you the goal you seek for His sake. You just can’t give up on Him, no matter how difficult it gets. Our goal is to continue to stay firm in our faith in Him, and to not stop making dua for what we want, until we get what we seek, or it is removed, or is replaced by something else.

Seeking An Answer

One of the things I hear so often that truly bothers me is when people say, “Maybe this is Allah’s way of answering your Dua,” or, “Maybe this is a sign from Allah.” I’m not a scholar, but from what I understand, that’s not how it works! Allah guides us, and when we seek something, He makes the results clear. If you are making Dua for something, and are sincere in your intentions AND actions, Allah will give you clarity in the matter at hand. Until you feel that clarity in your heart, don’t stop making Dua for what you want. We shouldn’t have to convince ourselves of something being the answer to our Dua, because when we do that, it is almost as though we have given up on Allah answering our Dua, though He has promised us that He will give us peace and a solution to what we seek for His sake. This is something that is a tough concept to grasp, especially in today’s world, where we are tested left, right, and center. In the end, we have to remember that Allah has promised us that if we strive towards a goal and still find difficulty, BUT have awareness of Him and His Abilities, and keep in mind that we will have to answer for our actions on the Day of Judgment, He will grant us a solution through means that we could not have even imagined. He ALWAYS fulfills His Promise. He is the Provider, and the One who grants us what we need to move forward with our lives day in and day out. We should also keep in mind that He has decreed a time for everything. You may see things and think to yourself that the solution just seems so easy. But, I promise you that you won’t even be able to reach out to touch something in front of you until Allah decrees it. What is meant for you will be yours, no matter what. You just have to remain steadfast in seeking what you want. Allah will guide you towards what you want, or will replace it through ease and clarity with something better.

“That is instructed to whoever should believe in Allah and the Last day. And whoever fears Allah – He will make for him a way out; And will provide for him from where he does not expect. And whoever relies upon Allah – then He is sufficient for him. Indeed, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Allah has already set for everything a [decreed] extent.” – Quran (65:2-3)

There may be times when you’ll look at your situation and feel as though something you experience is the answer to your Dua. If, however, you don’t feel in your heart, after pursuing things for the sake of Allah and in a way that pleases Him, that you have clarity on the matter, then seek His Guidance again. Often, we see something happening and feel it to be the answer to our Dua (though we may not fully like it), but that could very well be a test from Allah to see how committed and reliant upon Him we truly are.

Don’t go out looking for a sign. Don’t go out thinking that Allah’s going to send some miracle from the sky for you to see. Stuff like that happens once in a blue moon, if ever.

Instead, cleanse your heart of things that displease Allah, and replace them with worship and remembrance of Him in your every thought and action, and repent frequently. We sin so much, just by being human, that it’s impossible to calculate how much we need to repent. But, it’s on us to do everything we can to increase our good deeds and reduce our sins. Through this, Allah will give us clarity in our hearts, and when there is something we are meant to see, or there is something we are meant to feel, it will be something He will place in our view or in our hearts. And when we live life in this way, I guarantee you that we will find a level of peace and serenity that is beyond our imagination, because at that point, we will have truly tasted the beauty of faith. At that point, we will finally be able to be grateful when any and every thing comes our way, because we will accept it all as Allah’s decree for us. He knows our hearts and thoughts better than we do, and so He won’t leave us stranded. Another very important thing to note is that accepting Allah’s Decree does not mean having to do so out of sorrow or difficulty. Allah gives us peace with dealing with things, no matter how difficult they are, if that is what is best for us. If your heart feels uneasy, make a change through first seeking guidance from Allah, and then acting on your heart’s inclination.

How Does This Relate To Gaza or Syria?

I am not a Palestinian or Syrian. I am not an Arab. I don’t even fully speak Arabic, yet (insha Allah, soon). But, I share a bond with the people of Gaza and Syria that runs deeper than any bond of blood, nationality, language, culture, or anything else for that matter. This bond makes me feel as though I am one with them, as though they are no different to me than my own parents and siblings. The bond I share with them is of Islam. Islam abolished the concept of nationality, racism, and things like that, because under the banner of Islam we are all brothers and sisters. We are all Muslims. When I hear the screams of mothers and wives as they hold the bodies of their men, as I hear the cries of children as they watch their parents die in front of their eyes, and when I see the blood of innocent men, women, and children being shed as clear as rain, I don’t see their nationality or language. I see humanity in shambles. I weep for the innocent Muslims and non-Muslims alike, who are killed in the state of war.

As nothing more than a Muslim, which is a greater honor in my eyes than any other, I look at these things, and humbly believe that our solution lies in first turning to Allah. It is ONLY through Him that success will come. And it is a duty upon every Muslim to feel concern and to pray for those who have been trapped in what seems to be an impossible situation to find release from. But, we must remember the story of Musa (AS) and his people.

Relating to the story of Musa (AS), I want to remind us of the fact that though things may seem completely impossible, and though the blood of our brothers and sisters flows constantly, we cannot lose hope in Allah. We cannot forget that our greatest weapon is Dua, supplicating to Allah to grant them victory and to reward them with an easy entrance into the highest levels of Jannah. This can be just as was the case with Musa (AS) and his people, where a tyrant (Pharoah) approached them viciously with a huge and fully armed army, while they had nothing to defend themselves with, and still Allah granted them success. Why? Because they learned to be steadfast in their faith in Him, and they knew that Allah would grant them success and the answer to their prayers. Let us be like Musa (AS) and stand firm in knowing that we believe not in what we see, but rather, believe in the Unseen. Allah is capable of all things, and He has promised us victory for patience and for complete submission to Him. If Allah has made us a promise, what reason do we have to doubt? Remember:

“For those of you who have Allah as your Helper, there is no one that can overcome you; but if He removes His Help from you, who is there that can help you after Him? And upon Allah let the believers rely.” – Quran (3:160)

There are so many other examples of how Allah has brought victory to the righteous when victory seemed like a far-fetched impossibility. An example of this is the Battle of Badr, where the Muslims were few and the enemies were almost three times the number of Muslims. Still, Allah helped the Muslims and granted them success. Read up on this battle and you’ll see how incredibly relatable and inspiring it is, especially in a situation like our brothers and sisters in Gaza are facing.

Allah has a purpose behind everything that happens. I know it sounds cliche because of how often we hear people using this statement as a way to push aside or accept giving up on remaining steadfast in their conviction in Allah’s Provision, but it is a true fact. It may seem as though things are difficult, or it may seem as though things seem impossible, but we know without a doubt that Allah will answer our Dua when the time is right. During this process, we will surely go through tests to see if we truly rely on Him, but it is at that point that we should consider it a blessing from Him and an opportunity to grow stronger in faith, by remaining steadfast and not losing hope in Him answering our Dua.

As we go on through our days, let us constantly be in a state of remembrance of Allah, and let us not give up on making Dua that Allah grants us what we seek. Let us build on our own faith as individuals, so that our prayers are more likely to be answered. Let us put aside the negativity and pessimism of others, and remain steadfast on our faith that our Dua will be answered, regardless of how many obstacles and difficulties come our way. The people of Gaza, Syria, and all of the others around the world that are unjustly being harmed in any way and to any degree will find success, as this is promised by Allah, on the condition that they stay firm and strong in their faith in Him.

If you want to see change in Gaza, Syria, or in your own life, go above and beyond the basics when it comes to making Dua. Wake up for Tahajjud and make Dua. Pray extra Nawafil (voluntary acts of worship) and make Dua. When you are in Sujood (prostration), make dua. Right before you end your Salah (prayer) and say the Tasleem (what is said to end the prayer), make Dua. Right after completing your Fard (obligatory) portion of a Salah, make Dua. When it rains, or there are harsh winds, make Dua. Fast on Mondays and Thursdays [as is the Sunnah of the Prophet (SAW)] or fast every other day [as is the Sunnah of Prophet Dawud (AS)], and make dua right before breaking your voluntary fast. These are just a handful of times that the Prophet (SAW) has said sincere Dua will be answered, so take advantage of them! Do everything you can to show Allah your sincerity and dedication to having your Dua answered!

I pray that Allah grants the people of Gaza, Syria, and other parts of the world, justice, peace, victory, and the highest reward for their patience and steadfastness. I pray that Allah fills their hearts and minds with unrelenting hopes to please Allah in every way, and that He fulfills those hopes by guiding them in their actions. I am certain that victory will come. Let us remain patient, continue to make dua, help in every way we possibly can (within the bounds of what is permitted in Islam), and continue to hold certainty in knowing that Allah will allow only the best to come from all of this. Ameen.

And as for all of us, who go through our own struggles and seemingly-impossible dilemmas in our day-to-day lives, I pray that Allah gives us ease and success in following our hearts, and in making every aspect of our lives acts of worship, so that our hearts will be inclined towards what pleases Him, and so that we can find clarity through undying efforts in making Dua for what we seek until we get it. Ameen.

Relationships: What If?
Relationships: What If? 1280 800 Nadir Keval

So, I was sifting through YouTube when I fell upon this video. I’d say it’s pretty well done, considering I would say that many of us have experienced something similar to this in our lives. At first, I thought, wow, what a great depiction of relationships. Then, I realized that there is much more we could do to approach relationships in a more mature, responsible and stress-free way.

See, Islam’s way to approach a relationship is different, but unfortunately, today, people feel that this is a better approach. It’s a touching story, but in truth, Allah knows what is best, and His advice through the Quran and through the teachings of the Prophet (pbuh) is ultimately still more beneficial. If we all learned to just trust in Allah more, we’d find love much easier to find. Allah knows best, and it’s important we remember that we just need to bring our hearts closer to Him, and He will bring us the love we deserve, Insha Allah 🙂

We worry so often about what will happen if we get married to someone that’s not right for us. But, I guarantee that if we do things as Muslims, in the way that Islam has taught us to do things, we won’t lose. I know, I know, the divorce rate amongst Muslims is drastically increasing, but at the same time, have we ever considered that the reason is because we go about getting married in ways that displease Allah? He is the One that can either bless or curse our marriages, so why do we not focus on ensuring that we live out our lives, have our weddings, and build our marriages in ways that He has described as being the righteous and most beneficial way? How many times has Allah promised us that He will protect us if we solely rely on Him? That promise is stronger than any promise a person can give you. So, trust it!

What is there to fear? One of two things will happen if you consider someone: Allah will bring you closer to that person and make marriage come easy, or He will remove that person from your heart and replace them with someone that’s better for you. Either way, it’s a win-win Insha Allah. Focus on building yourself, and if someone is suggested to you, or you’re interested in someone, pray Isthikhaarah and make dua. Then, if you feel inclined towards that person, talk to them bluntly about things. Relationships in Islam are clear-cut. Either you’re into the person or you’re not. It doesn’t take months or years to know if a person is good for you to consider for marriage or not. It takes a moment to say, this person is someone I could consider, or that this person isn’t. Your Isthikhaarah will take effect insha Allah, and things will become clear to you. Do things with Allah in mind, and move forward from there.

Muslims aren’t wusses because we know that we have nothing to worry about except for seeking Allah’s pleasure. We know that Allah has our backs, so we’re supposed to be stress-free. Ever thought that if that’s how we Muslims should be, then all these doubts and concerns that enter our minds when we fear approaching marriage even when we find someone we think would be great for us, might just be the whispers of Shaitaan? Makes ya think, doesn’t it?

Regardless, be straightforward, tell a person how you feel, ask Allah to guide you, and then take steps forward. If the person’s right for you, Allah will make it clear to you if you are reliant on Him. If the person isn’t good for you, He will make it clear to you to steer clear of that person, once again IF you are reliant on Him.

Don’t spend too much time just hanging around. You’re just asking for fitna (temptation/tribulation). The Prophet (pbuh) even said that, “The best thing for two people who love one another is marriage.” (that was me paraphrasing, by the way) Now, I’m not saying that you’ll fall in love right away. Every relationship has its own time for that if it’s meant to be. What I AM saying though, is that if you think someone is good for you, and you’ve done your Isthikhaarah, take steps forward towards making it happen.

Sure, you may be engaged (in the halal way, of course!) for a while, so that you can prep yourself financially or so you can finish school, etc. but at least you will have protected yourself from the ridiculous amount of fitna there is in the world, you will have a confidant and someone you can rely on to be there for you Insha Allah. You will feel more secure too.

Either way, this is just me ranting now, but I truly believe that we should all be more active in approaching marriage in a more Islamically sound manner. Sure, times have changed and society approaches things differently now, but correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t Allah say that He has perfected this religion for all of mankind (ie. the people at the time of the Prophet (pbuh), people now, and all those to come in the future until the Day of Judgment)? So, then, who are we to say that we know better than Allah? Right?

This is all just my thoughts. I’d love to hear what you think. And, I pray that Allah gives us all the strength, courage, patience, guidance, and all else we need in order for us to find ease in every step of marriage, and that you all are blessed with the best of spouses. Ameen.

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