life

10 Tips for Daily Happiness
10 Tips for Daily Happiness 2560 1532 Nadir Keval

In the world we live in, it’s very easy for us to become overwhelmed or sidetracked by the smallest of things. Still, that is no reason for us to allow our circumstances or the words or actions of others deter us from being happy. Life is a roller coaster of ups and downs, as I mentioned in my video a few months back (The Roller Coaster of Life – Nadir Keval), but the thrilling results are worth the struggling climb.

Throughout my journey in entrepreneurship, faith, health, and the other aspects of my life, I’ve found that there are certain things that are great ways to strengthen our relationships with our own selves. Here are 10 tips I’ve come up with over the years:

1. Keep it simple

When you’re ambitious, or have a lot of things on your plate, it’s fairly easy to overfill our daily to-do list. I did this for years, before I realized that the saying, “Slow and steady wins the race,” is one of the wisest things ever said, especially for one who leads a life in need of self-discipline and unrelenting drive. My suggestion would be to stick to no more than 3-5 things on your daily list of tasks. I guarantee, that will be enough to keep you busy, because in a day, things are bound to come up that are out of your control, and keeping a semi-short list of tasks will help you accomplish your daily goals, while also not leaving you feeling overwhelmed or unaccomplished at the end of the day. If you finish those things, you can always add more things, one by one.

2. Pray

A relationship with God is one of the greatest blessings one can have. It is something that is available to all of us. All that’s required of us is that we reach out for it and respect it. Every person has their own faith, but I can only speak of my own experiences as a Muslim. Amongst the things I love most about my faith is the beauty of prayer and supplication. Through five daily prayers, I am blessed with 5 short vacations, where I can detach from my struggles and goals, and connect with Allah and with my self. Through supplication, I always have someone to speak to when I feel overwhelmed or need help in coming to a decision. The beauty of whom I speak to when supplicating is that He, Allah, is capable of all things and wants what is best for me. How beautiful a feeling it is, to know for certain that I will be okay, and will never be alone, as long as I have faith and prayer.

3. Eat

We live in a world that confuses me. Either we eat too much or we eat too little. Personally, I consider food to be the artistic tools God has given us, with which we can create pieces of art to not only enjoy through vision, but can enjoy as nourishment. Some of these artistic pieces God has given us are art in themselves (try a cold mango on a hot day, and you’ll see what I mean)! My advice: eat well, eat often, and eat pure. Strike balance in your meals and in your day. As the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) said, “The vessels the children of Adam (AS) mistreat most is the stomach. Eat as though your stomach is in three parts. One part for food, one part for water, and one part for air.” (paraphrased)

4. Stay Active

To love food is a great adventure, but just as important as it is for us to enjoy the food that nourishes us, it’s just as important for us to stay active and take care of the body we’re nourishing. Even if it means doing something active for 30 minutes a day, or taking the stairs instead of the elevator or escalator. Start small, and keep moving forward. Do this for you. For some ideas, and more to come, check out my food adventures!

5. Reflect

We live in a day and age that’s all about constantly being on the go, constantly doing “productive” things in order to stay afloat in this world of constant competition. What only the successful realize is that there is a huge amount of benefit to simply taking a few moments for you every day. Turn off all of your electronics, wear something comfortable, and do simply sit and relax. Think about your life, your experiences, your goals, your heart, and your faith. Just think, and find the good in all aspects of your life, especially the things that seem bad, all in order to find peace within.

6. Me-time

I can’t express enough how important it is to do something every day that is just for you. It makes all the difference in your life, in your mental health, in your happiness, in your success, in your peace. Designate one hour per day, without fail, towards doing something just for you. The pressure of the world and of life and those who surround you will make this a difficult task, but do it for you. It’s of the utmost importance.

7. Interact

Solitude is sometimes a phenomenally beneficial thing, and I can attest to how much it’s helped me get things done in my journey towards the fulfillment of my dreams. That said, at times, it could also result in loneliness. We are creatures of companionship. Interacting with others helps us feel and stay connected. It helps us come up with new ideas, and new understandings of the world and the people in it. As I mentioned before, life is about balance, and in the matter of interacting with others, this balancing concept is very important. Spend time on your own, take time to take care of yourself, but be sure to interact with others, to make friends, and to spend time with those who make you happy and inspire positivity in your life.

8. Write

Growing up, we would always hear about girls keeping diaries or journals, and if a boy were to do it, he would be teased for being girly – absolutely nonsensical and childish behavior. Some of the most successful people in the world, men and women, have kept journals as they strived towards achieving their goals. Begin writing. It’s a therapeutic way to keep your self focused, disciplined, and of clear mind. If it were not for my starting to write, by the will of Allah, I probably wouldn’t be where I am today. Though I still have a long way to go, I hope to one day be the owner of a library full of my journals, insha Allah.

9. Sleep

We’ve heard about the importance since we were children. They say you must get 8-10 hours of sleep every night for the sake of your body, mind, and soul. There are many benefits to sleeping well, and that involves more than just the amount of time you spend sleeping. It also includes your conditions of your environment (a hot or cold room, lights being on, your computer buzzing away, etc), what you sleep on, whether or not you go to bed refreshed and calm, and so much more. Be sure to sleep well, and listen to your body. You may be early bird or a night owl. Regardless of which one you are, listen to your body.

10. Smile!

Sometimes, one of the best things we can do when we’re feeling down is force a smile. It can act as inspiration for a real smile 🙂 A smile is one of the things in life that can alleviate pain and sorrow at times when we feel like there is no reason to smile. Not only that, the Prophet (SAW) said that a smile is a form of charity. I’m not sure of how it is in other parts of the world, but I often try to smile at everyone I meet or cross eyes with, and the return of those smiles and the happiness it brings is indescribable. Smile, you’ll change lives…if not the lives of others, it’ll change your own life.

Now, I’d like to hear from all of you! Do you have any ideas or tips of your own as to how to bring about daily happiness? Leave a comment below and get the discussion started :)!

Freedom from Within
Freedom from Within 1920 1200 Nadir Keval

What does it mean to be free? We all have our own definition, based on the conditions our lives are in. For some, it’s being able to sit in your home without the fear of having a military attack destroy your home, for some it’s a battle in your mind, and for others, it’s being able to have a say in your own life’s decisions and path. These matters enslave some of us without us even realizing it. If or when it’s realized, minds go into a state of panic, causing a frantic effort to break free. Every struggle of freedom holds at its core the same goal: to have one’s right to make personal decision made available.

The right to have the final say in everything that you do and pursue in your life is something that is unfortunately a rare thing to see in most parts of the world. How many of us have to tail or our lives and the pursuit of our goals, all to accommodate the people in our lives and their dreams? How many of us pursue the same path drafted out by society for practically everyone of going to school, having a gender-specified hobbies and interests, getting a degree/diploma, working a 9-5 job most likely not in your field of study just to pay off the tens of thousands of dollars in student loans, get married while in severe debt, buy a home on mortgage (increasing your debt), have children (a blessing, but tougher when in debt), grow old hating your job (unless you’re one of the lucky ones), and one day look back and wonder how life passed by so quickly without you even getting the chance to pursue your goals, passions, or challenges? So…that was a dark picture. Unfortunately, I’m pretty sure I just described most of our lives, and sadly left many of us depressed. If I did, I apologize. The reason I did that is because unless we hate hell and everything that leads to it, we won’t know how badly we want heaven. Obviously, I’m speaking metaphorically, but you get what I mean.

It’s important for us to find and form our own identities by taking risks and challenging ourselves outside of our comfort zones. It’s far too easy to fall into the norms and patterns created by society. We must ask ourselves what we want out of life, what we hope to accomplish, and then work towards those things. The path that fits you best might even end up being similar to the norm, but what’s important is that you choose and pursue that path out of your own will and desire, and not out of conformity to any expectations.

There are some people in the world whose freedom isn’t an option for them. Even if they work their hardest, put in all the effort they possibly can, they just can’t seem to acquire their freedom. But, for most of us, freedom is possible. It’s about overcoming our personal barriers, created by our minds to hold us back from doing anything unsafe. That, however, isn’t what’s best for our growth, and instead, prevents us from being the best we can be. Recognize how blessed we are to have the ability to embrace our freedom. It will take hard work and fighting our inner souls at times, but it’s a dream many don’t have the opportunity to fulfill.

Evaluate your life and ask yourself what it is you want to accomplish, and what it is that’s holding you back from getting what you want. If you are unhappy, figure out what the cause is and keep your distance from that, or fix the situation to turn it into a source of happiness. I assure you it will be difficult. I assure you it will be painful. I assure you it will have you questioning yourself and your motives time and time again. But if you push through it all, I assure you that it’ll be completely worth it.

The Importance Of Taking Breaks
The Importance Of Taking Breaks 2290 1526 Nadir Keval

Over the last little while, some of you may have noticed that I stopped writing articles, poetry, and quotes, to the extent that I even placed a hold on my site. The reason for this was because I was in a place in my life where I needed to take some time out to myself and really reflect on my personal goals. It was a difficult decision to make, but I felt it was a necessary step in order for me to be the best I could be for myself as a human being on his own personal journey, and as a friend, mentor, or brother to those of you out there that I strive to inspire and motivate in every way I possibly can. I have to say, there are no words to express my gratitude for all of you, your patience, and your appreciation of my efforts.

I know that during this hiatus, I’ve lost some readers and followers here and there, but it was something I believed I needed to. I do hope that those readers and followers return after seeing that I’ve re-launched my blog, but if they choose not to, I wish them all the best.

This break was an experience that truly took me to the next step of understanding myself, and I felt it would be something to share with all of you, so that perhaps, if any of you go through something similar, you would be able to think, “If a guy as crazy as Nadir could get through this, I can too!” See, I was at a point in my life where I felt overwhelmed by all of the things I had going on. It’s true that those things are there because I put them there, and that I often speak about how I pride myself in being involved in many things, while still maintaining sanity and efficiency. What I realized however, is that in choosing this kind of lifestyle, I would have to take a break every once in a while, because if I didn’t, I would burn out. Unfortunately, the way I learned that was by getting so close to burning out that I was left with a few scars. Fortunately though, scars are great reminders.

What held me back from taking a break all these years was that I feared losing my connection to all of you, or that I would lose whatever it was that fueled my ability to write. In a similar manner, I feared that taking a break from my companies and projects would make me lose the connection and attachment I have towards my passions and ambitions. Still, it came to a point that my body and mind began to weaken in their abilities to inspire me and help me keep going. It was definitely time for a break.

Short breaks

In the process of learning about the importance of taking breaks, I realized that it was about more than just taking long vacations or breaks every few months. As necessary as breaks like those may be, I found that what maintained my every day sanity was the small breaks I would take every day. What that meant was that I would put aside some time every day towards a personal goal, or towards simply resting and doing nothing. My attachment to ambition and drive made that difficult at first, but I forced myself beyond my comfort zone because I knew it was a necessity in order for me to see any chances at growth. Here are some tips, based on what I’ve learned:

  • Do something for yourself every day that’s unrelated to anything you do, or any specific deadline – even if it’s just for 15-30 minutes of your day
  • Try something new once a week, to challenge yourself and to keep your mind and body guessing
  • Interact and socialize with people at least once every 1-2 weeks, solely for the sake of socializing – personally, I meet up with a few friends for coffee every two weeks, and we talk about life and ideas, without much reference back to our work or school lives

Long breaks

There are the obvious kinds of long breaks, like a week long vacation to a new place or a place you find comfort, but there are times when that can become a bit hurtful to our wallets. During times like those, put away all of your work stuff, school stuff, or anything related to your everyday routine, and just wake up every morning with something new scheduled in. For example, if you live in a place known for its tourism, spend a week living like a tourist, checking out the attractions, gardens, trails, events, etc., and come home every night to cook yourself a meal (and I mean, really experiment with new recipes and cuisines) or go out for dinner to a place you never thought you’d try. That’s what I’ve got planned for my next vacation, and I have to admit, I’m excited!

Long breaks seem like a big risk, especially if you have a lot of things on your plate. As an entrepreneur, it took a lot to make me realize that it was important for me to step away from it all for a short while, but after recognized the importance of it, I took the leap. Looking back, I don’t regret a minute of my break, and yearn for the opportunity to enjoy it again in the future, God-willing!

Earning your break

One other thing I’d like to talk about is the importance of recognizing the value of yourself and the value of a break. For the longest time, my businesses weren’t bringing in much income, and I was really struggling financially. I had to work harder than I ever had in my life, while making much less than I ever had. Still, I stuck to it, but eventually, I was drained. I needed a break, but I felt like I hadn’t earned it yet because I wasn’t making the amount of money I wanted to. Sure, things were looking up, and the finances were building, but they were nowhere near enough for me to go off on an expensive vacation or anything like that without taking a major financial hit. Every day started to become a chore, and I was starting to hate my career, not because of what I did for a living, but because I didn’t have the energy anymore. I learned, after speaking to a few close friends, that I actually had earned my break because of the hard work and effort I had put in every day to get to where I am. I was reminded that success isn’t about how much you make, but it’s about how much you value your efforts at the end of every day. If you’re happy with yourself and your effort, then take a break. If not, and you still feel the need for a break, then make a plan for doing better, then take a break, but get cracking on implementing that plan as soon as you’re break is over.

Look at it this way: when working out, you take breaks between each set, be it 30 seconds or a minute or two. Then, you take a break of at least 24 hours between working each muscle group, in order to give that specific muscle group enough time to recover. The truth is, rest and recovery is just as important to growth and development as hard work and ambition is. It’s all about balance and moderation. Work hard, push beyond your comfort zone, and take care of yourself through rest and recovery, because it’s with these three ingredients, along with faith and reliance on God, that we’re able to see results and success. Like they say, every once in a while, you have to stop and smell the roses. If you don’t, you’ll go on through an entire lifetime without having ever really lived.

Has Allah Forgotten Me?
Has Allah Forgotten Me? 1366 768 Nadir Keval

Question:

Assalamu alaikum, brother, I wanted to thank you because some of your posts have helped me with life. But I wanted to ask you about some things, kindly link me tosome materials regarding hope and trust in Allah and how I can cope with depression and anxiety please? We’re going through an armada of health, financial, and psychological problems and I can’t stand seeing my mother cry. I am an ‘alright’ following Muslim but I feel that Allah has forgotten me.

Response:

Wa alaikum assalaam,

Insha Allah, this reaches you in the best state of health and Imaan. I’m glad to hear that my work has been beneficial to you and has helped you, Alhamdulillah.

First off, I would like to remind you that often, we feel that Allah has forgotten us, but the truth is usually that we aren’t doing our part to get closer to Him. Look at it this way, if you met someone that you wanted to have in your life because you believed they would be able to help change your life for the better, how hard would you work to try to get and maintain that person’s attention? You would probably also put a lot of effort into gaining that person’s approval and satisfaction. See, the thing is, we put forth so much effort towards those who are simply people and have no real control over our life’s condition without the help and provision of Allah, but we hardly put any effort towards gaining that relationship with Allah, who is the One that has control over our affairs and can help us through anything.

There are a few articles that I’ve written on my blog that relate to what you’re going through. I will list them below. I would, however, also like to share some advice with you as a person who has also gone through similar struggles time and time again in his life. Honestly, the greatest key towards betterment and solutions to our life problems is building on our relationship with Allah. What I would suggest to you is to start increasing your Ibadah, Dua, and Dhikr. Start working on perfecting your Salah, wake up for Tahajjud and make dua for what you’re wanting, and try to constantly keep your mouth moving with Dhikr like saying, “Astaghfirullah,” or “Alhamdulillah,” or “Subhanallah,” etc. That is the same advice my sheikh and friend gave me, and honestly, it helped me remain calm through all my struggles, helped me see light in the darkest corners of my life, and simply made me happier. Try working on this yourself first, and after a week or so of consistent practice, ask your mother to join you, motivating, helping, and supporting her in doing it with you. This will build a sense of unified peace between you (and others in you home if you have them join you as well), and will give you all a sense of peace amongst what appears to be the chaos of your life’s condition right now.

Remember, it’s all about your perception of things. Often, we think our condition is horrible, but that’s only because we are so focused in on what we’re going through that we forget to look at all that’s happening around us, and when that happens, whether we know it or not, a small part of us becomes ungrateful for all that we’ve been blessed with. The struggles and challenges we face in our lives are opportunities Allah is giving us to grow closer to Him and to grow stronger as individuals. Remember, Allah says that He never burdens a soul beyond what it can bear (Quran 2:286), and the Prophet (SAW) said that there is no calamity that strikes a believer, even if it is as small as the prick of a thorn, except that it expiates/removes the sins of that believer.

Allah is giving you an opportunity. Take it. Become better Muslims than you already are, grow closer to Him, and remember to look at those around you or around the world who are struggling far more than you (there’s always SOMEONE that’s struggling more than we are), and be thankful for what you have.

Those are my suggestions for your first steps, and if you’d like to discuss things further or in more detail, you are more than welcome to email me at mail@nadirkeval.com. Everything we discuss will remain confidential, insha Allah.

I hope this was of some help. Below are the articles from my blog that I feel may relate to your situation. Take care.

Wassalaamu alaikum,

– Nadir Keval (www.nadirkeval.com)

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Question: Why Are Some People Tested More Than Others? – Nadir Keval

To Be Happy – Nadir Keval

The Seed Of All Success – Nadir Keval

Creating Crutches – Nadir Keval

These are just some of the articles on my blog that relate to your situation. To be honest, what you’re going through is very common (which is a good thing, because it shows you that you’re not alone and that since others have been able to overcome it, so can you, alhamdulillah!), so I’ve written quite a few articles pertaining to situations and conditions similar to yours. You can find them in the mentoring archive on my blog.

Quit Quitting
Quit Quitting 4288 2848 Nadir Keval

I’ve spent a good chunk of my life quitting – afraid of what others may say if I failed or if I made a mistake, if I didn’t do things the same way others would, or sometimes, if I made others look bad by doing something better than they did. I figured, why bother with taking all those risks? If I just make up some excuse, I’ll be alright and won’t be the laughing stock or the enemy of those around me. It just seemed safer that way. Little did I know that after spending years with that state of mind, I would be left feeling so unaccomplished and unsatisfied with myself that I would almost give up on living life itself, and would simply accept an existence for the sake of existing.

Perhaps it’s human nature, or something instilled in me specifically that needed to be excavated after years of living under a thick layer of guilt for the sake of others, but eventually I had had enough. It wasn’t until I started to feel sorry for myself that I realized that I was accepting a pathetic approach to life, and that I needed to change. I had two choices: give up completely or break through my comfort zone and get the happiness I know I deserved. To be honest, this is something I have to remind myself of every once in a while, even now, because it had become so natural to me to evade challenges and risk. Funny to hear that coming from an entrepreneur and artist, but I guess that deep down, I chose these career and life paths because they were the ones that compelled me to break through my shell and find my true strengths and life-purpose.

It’s funny, because at times, I would see these pictures of people lifting weights and working out, talking about how they were once living unhealthy and unhappy lives, and that one day they just decided that enough was enough, leading to them making these remarkable changes you would think were meant to be part of those fake before and after pictures you see on infomercials. I would look at these people, read their profiles online, watch their interviews and whatnot, and would be left feeling inspired to make a change in my own life. Then, just as quickly, I would realize that I had no idea how to actually make that change. The same applied towards those entrepreneurs you hear or read about, that became successful after working hard at their crafts and becoming the successes they aspired to become. I looked at all of these people around me that were getting things done while I sat here feeling sorry for myself that I was “trying” but wasn’t getting anywhere.

That’s when I realized two things:

  1. Everyone has his or her own time. Sure, some people may find something you struggle with to come easy, but you may find something they struggle with to come easy. So, instead of worrying about others and why things are working out for them instead of you, stop your complaining, embrace and enjoy what you have and where you are in life, and move forward. Do your part to acquire what you’re aspiring towards (with wisdom), and then put it aside in your mind and focus on the other things you can influence. When the time’s right for you, what’s meant for you will fall into place.
  2. You cannot just look at the end result of someone’s journey. To truly appreciate and learn from someone’s journey, and to be not only inspired but also motivated to do something with what you’ve learned through their success, you must take their entire journey into account. Many of us see the flowery and beautiful end results, and they shine so bright that we become blinded to the true and grimy struggle they had to go through to get to where they are. Be willing to rough it through the struggles of success, and recognize that hard work is a simple understatement to describe what it really takes to achieve your dreams. If you’re not willing to work THAT hard for it, you don’t want it bad enough, so first, make yourself want it more, then work your butt off to make it happen.

These thoughts and experiences helped me come to terms with my own self and my own journey. I realized that instead of quitting for the sake of others, or worrying about whether I’ll fail or succeed, I just needed to do my best in my own way to get what I want. I want to get into better shape, so instead of feeling sorry for myself for not enjoying or tolerating the same workouts my friends did to get in shape, I’m going to find my own path towards achieving my ideal. In this case, for example, I love to cook (if you’ve seen any of my Instagram pics, you’d know how much I love to adventure into the world of culinary arts), and so I use that strength and asset towards helping me get into shape. I also love martial arts and more hands-on activities like hiking, biking, fishing, and building things, and so I use those as my ways to stay active. Those are my starting challenge points, and when I’m ready, I’ll challenge myself to take it a step further and do more, insha Allah (God-willing). My point is, we all have things we enjoy, and there is no universal way to get everything done. Pave your own path and don’t stop till you get to your destination. Then, set a new goal and keeping paving. You don’t always have to know where every step you take towards that path will land. God will reveal those things to you as they come – you just have to be open to accepting the good from them and putting aside the negative thoughts from the whispers of Shaitaan (Satan) or those of the people around you. Your family and friends may mean well, but if their approach doesn’t work for you, it’s okay to steer clear – you don’t have time, and they probably don’t have interest in changing their entire selves just to accommodate your needs. Success and happiness are subjective, so why look to others to validate those things? Only you and God know what’s in your heart and what truly makes you happy, so keep that conversation between the two of you.

Photo credit: iyuphoto via Flickr

Wandering Heart
Wandering Heart 1600 1200 Nadir Keval

When reading the word “heart” in a title, it usually means that you’re going to be reading about something related to love and relationships. In this case, however, that is far from the case. In the last little while, I have struggled with my own happiness. I’ve been unsure of so much, and with having lived a lifetime feeling as though I am destined to fail due to the opinions of many around me and through my own “downfalls” in life, everything seemed to have piled up and beat me to the ground. Fortunately, I had my faith holding me above the water, as well as some family and friends that helped me stay afloat, but overall, in my relationship with myself, I have been insecure and severely lacking confidence.

It’s funny how ironic my situation had become, being a person who has lived most of his life helping people through comforting and advising, to be the same person who needs comfort, advice, and help. Ah, how things often work out. I have faced many difficult times, especially in the emotional and mental realm. Still, I personally look at it as a blessing, because it is only through having truly experienced the ups and downs of life that I’m able to help others in similar situations. Of course, there is plenty I have not or have yet to face, but I believe that for all of us, what we face is simply God’s gift to us. Not only does what we face build us in strength and character, but it acts as evidence to the fact that there is nothing God places in our path that we are incapable of overcoming.

“Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity.” – Quran (2:286)

The struggles and successes are drawn out paths towards strength and success, a blessing from God. It’s just a matter of us believing in ourselves enough to pull through and push forward.

What I’ve faced throughout most of my life is being very different from the rest. How I’ve approached every aspect of my life has made me an outcast in most cases. From my childhood when I was more intrigued by contemplation and solitude than by sports and competition, to my youth when I wouldn’t indulge or even try things like drugs and alcohol as many of my former peers did, to my adulthood when I would approach a career and lifestyle in a way that was so far from the norm that only a small percentage of the world’s population pursues. These differences made it difficult for me to relate to anyone, thus reducing the number of people I was able to connect with and share a beneficial relationship with. Those who did stay around me often made me feel as though I was a failure or that I was living in a fantasy because of my approaches towards life. They used their pessimism and lack of patience and understanding to make me feel as though I was destined to be left behind while others my age became successful.

All of these had broken me time and time again, and this last time, I felt as though there were too many shattered pieces for me to stand a chance at rebuilding. I was so unsure of everything happening in my life that it was as though I had entered some form of paralysis. I didn’t know what to do, and if I gave my mind the opportunity to dig deeper into that hole of thought, I began to fall in, ultimately entering a freefall with no parachute to save me from a fatal impact. The fall was long, until I realized that since this is a matter of my mind, I was able to create a “parachute” and use it to land safely before beginning my ascension back up to stable ground.

This is when every thought in my mind was bridged together, and a solution was seen. I was missing the glue that connected it all together, and made me who I am. I realized that it is my mind that is perhaps my greatest asset – eternal gratitude and praise is due to Allah for it. I now understand and accept that the purpose of my being and my mind is not to be embraced or supported. I need to simply live, love, and dream. I have to do that with all that I am. God will handle the rest. He will bring those meant to be in my heart towards me, and will distance me from those who could harm me. All praise is due to Him.

Since recognizing this, I now find myself breaking out of the vicious cycle of unhappiness and negativity, and I can feel the weight of the world (that my mind had created or allowed to fester and grow) leaving me. I focus now solely on spreading happiness and seeking happiness through doing what pleases me, within the bounds of what pleases Allah, as He is the One from whom I have received the gift that is my life.

The Average
The Average 1920 1200 Nadir Keval

It’s no surprise that people today are at either end of the spectrum, extremely “normal” or extremely “abnormal”. What I mean by that is that if you look at the majority of the world, people spend most of their time living like robots, systematically designed to follow a particular path towards supposed success, while there are the other few, a smaller percentage of today’s population that are so far out there that they catch the attention of the public and are recognized for their “outlandish behavior” because they choose to pursue their own paths and want to be seen doing it.

Strike a Balance

To be more than average requires us to find a balance between the two extremes. To recognize that there are some aspects of life that require us to maintain submission or embracement of the rules and the norms, while also pursuing what pleases us and fulfills our passions, despite the expectations or opinions of others. I say others instead of society because we don’t often concern ourselves with society as a whole, but rather, concern ourselves with the “others” that surround us every day.  This balance isn’t one that is easy to come by because of the overwhelming temptation and pressure of succumbing to what is easier and more readily available and laid out for us to pursue. Why go through the forest without a map if a path has already been made, proven as being “correct”, and is what everybody else is taking to get to the proverbial “treasure chest”? Well, that brings me to my next point…

Be You

It sounds cliché, but it’s a reality that needs to be accepted and embraced by everyone. It’s definitely not easy to attain, but being yourself requires recognizing that there are some aspects of your life, including faith, societal laws, and a basic moral code that should abide by an understood and laid out plan to maintain humanity. Without those particular rules not only in existence but in practice as well, individuals and society as a whole would run amuck, with people harming, if not killing others out of sheer idiocy, ignorance, or personal agendas, or with people doing whatever they please without having to hold any accountability for their actions. Yet, these rules and guidelines should not define you in your entirety. You are an individual, which means you have traits that make you unique. That said, it is on you to make sure that you pursue those traits and make the most of them, because ultimately, we live in a self-serving society, and not many are willing to let others stand out if it means that they themselves will be left behind. This sounds cynical, but I believe it to be optimistic realism instead. The reason I say this is because it is human nature to do what is necessary to survive, and to survive in today’s world often compels people to push even those closest to them under the bus. Yet, there is hope, because by being yourself, you no longer have to worry about competing with others because you are too busy competing with your past self. When you focus on establishing your own identity, independent of the expectations or opinions of others, you become an elite in your category because you become your own category of personality. There is no one that will be able to completely emulate you, and although there will be attempts to do so, because you pursuing your own self-made identity is admirable, and thus desirable to those who follow rather than lead, no one will ever be you.

This leads to that question of why one would enter a forest without a map or path to follow, when it is proven path to success. Simply put, I would much rather enjoy the experience of running through the forest, making mistakes, getting lost and finding my way, tripping over branches, feeling the cracking of twigs and the mushing of moss below my feet, and hearing the gusts of the wind and the nature’s song through the chirps of birds, than to walk a dead, quiet, and boring path towards so-called success and happiness. Success and happiness are two things I believe to be relative and unique to each individual, so if we all follow the same path, what will be all that exciting about our ultimate “success” and “happiness”?

Push Beyond Limits

This is where you stand out most. I think I’ve made my point of the importance of doing things in your own way, while following base rules and guidelines on the aspects of life that structure our minds. But, that simply makes us different. What makes us stand out is our efforts and attempts to go above and beyond to do what it takes to be our best. That means that if you’re trying to become a painter, you do more than you did yesterday in an effort to strengthen your craft. If you want to become a doctor, lawyer, engineer, accountant, or anything else that requires a formal education, don’t just learn from what’s given to you. Go find books, fall in love with the library, volunteer at different places, and ultimately strengthen your knowledge in your field. THIS is what will make you stand out amongst the crowd. That said, if in this process, you compare yourself to others, you will always be left behind someone at some point. Rather, if you simply make your past self your only competition, you will pursue knowledge, application, and overall betterment for the sake of your love for it, and not for rankings in some tally of individuals unknowingly becoming robotic stats on a sheet.

Ultimately, my point is this: Strike a balance of following rules and guidelines with finding your own path towards your pursuits. Don’t let the expectations, opinions, or experiences of others pull or tempt you towards taking a certain path, but instead, make your own path. And finally, push beyond your limits and do what is necessary for you to reach the heights of success by being better than your past you. These are my steps towards success, and although the journey is bumpier, more dangerous, and takes longer, it has and will continue to leave me content and in love with life, insha Allah (God-willing).

Video: Working From Home Or An Office
Video: Working From Home Or An Office 1911 1019 Nadir Keval

I spend a lot of my life working, but am fortunate enough to love what I do so much that I rarely feel like I’m working. With that, it becomes a greater challenge to differentiate between work life and home life. Finding that balance is tricky, so I wanted to ask all of you. Would you prefer working from home or an office, and what are your reasons? Leave a comment and let’s talk.

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Question: Why are some people tested more than others?
Question: Why are some people tested more than others? 1681 1189 Nadir Keval

Question:

It seems unfair at times as you seem to have it all. May Allah bless you with more inshaAllah, but at times I find it all too much as you really seem to have a great life. A great family, good food, great job… Why are some people tested more than the others. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t envy you but can’t help but wonder. Why you, why not me?

Answer:

Assalaamu alaikum,

Ramadan Mubarak! May Allah grant you contentment and satisfaction with Allah, His Decree, and His Provision, and bless you with the heights of happiness and success in this life and the Next. Ameen.

Alhamdulillah, I do have a great life, but this should not be misconstrued as being a life without struggle, strife, and challenges. I have experienced many different phases in my life, including health scares, desperation for enough food to eat in a day, heartbreak, family discourse, and more. For all of it, I say, with all sincerity, Alhamdulillah.

What makes my life seem so great is the approach I take towards it, wa lillahil hamd. I believe in being grateful for all that we have and recognizing that there may be some things that happen in our lives that we don’t necessarily want or expect, but those are often the same things we later learn to be amongst the most beneficial towards our growth and happiness.

The question of why some are tested more than others is often asked, and has many responses based on wisdom. The first thing to understand though, before addressing that question, is that tests come in different forms. Just because a person gains wealth, does not mean that they are not being tested. Their test comes in how they use that wealth, and whether or not they show gratitude for what Allah has blessed them with. Just because a person’s life seems to be in order, doesn’t mean that they aren’t being tested in their own capacity.

Some of the many reasons for some people being “tested” more than others include:

  • Allah is protecting you from something. For years, I have wanted to get married, but things haven’t panned out, and often I’ve been left hurt, betrayed, and changed. In situations like that, I am getting tested, and being saved. The test comes in how I deal with the situation, and being saved comes from the fact that I look back at the experiences I had with those individuals, or look at where they are now, and recognize that I have been blessed to have not gotten married to them because of who they truly were then or who they are now.
  • The time for your success is not ideal yet, and Allah is preparing you for that time. It took me many years to see my businesses reach any level of success. During that proves, I was tested with patience, perseverance, and reliance on Allah. It was a trying time, and after hard work and a lot of time spent in prayer and supplication, weeping and seeking the help of Allah, I got what I was looking for. The difference though was that I got what I needed and not necessarily what I wanted, and for that, I am eternally grateful.
  • You are being strengthened. It often takes years for most people before they see success. During this time, they are given the option of becoming stronger or giving up. Those who choose to become stronger begin to work harder, build their patience, and increase their threshold for struggle. Betterment is always a blessing, so it’d be wise to make the most of it.
  • You are being given the opportunity to grow closer to Allah. It was definitely through the hardships and struggles I faced when it came to my health, relationships, and career, that I grew closest to Allah. I knew that I was being tested and that Allah wouldn’t forsake me, because He knows that in the depths of my heart, I know that He is the only One that could ever save me from my misery. And so, I increased my worship, worked harder than ever, and trained my mind to understand and accept that Allah is going to take care of me as long as I recognize Him to be above everything and my closest friend.

Akhi/Ukhti, it’s important to understand that whatever trials and tribulations we go through, as well as any success we may experience are all blessings and tests at the same time. My life is only the way it is not because of an absence of trials and tribulations, but because of a connection with Allah that I have worked a long time to establish, and will be working the rest of my life to completely perfect. I have my down times, I have my moments of despair and desperation, but that is because I am human and capable of error. Not because I have more talent, skill, or even Love from Allah. I don’t quantify those things in my life. Instead, I just work hard at everything I do, and make Islam my core.

So, my advice to you, if you’re going through a tough time and need an out is to remember and apply the lessons from this verse:

“And whoever has cognizance of Allah – He will make for him a way out…and will provide for him from where he does not expect. And whoever relies upon Allah – then He is sufficient for him. Indeed, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Allah has already set for everything a [decreed] extent.” – Quran (65:2-3)

Applying this means building a relationship with Allah so that you become completely cognizant of all that He is capable of, and thus, become patient and content as you strive and wait for your efforts to pay off. Build on your faith and relationship with Allah, work incredibly hard, and be patient. You are in the blessed month of Ramadan, so take advantage of this opportunity to build your faith and make Islam the core of every aspect of your life. I wrote about this in a recent article, which I feel you may benefit from: “The Seed Of All Success”

Finally, remember the hadith of the Prophet (SAW), where he said:

“No soul will die until it has received its provision in full and completed its allotted lifespan.” – Prophet Muhammad (SAW)

So, don’t worry about where you are in life right now. Be grateful for it because Allah has His Wisdom behind it. And take this as an opportunity to grow closer to Allah, to grow stronger in your character, and to take this time to make the most of everything you’ve been blessed with. Dwell not on the things that bring you hardship, but find hope in that which you have been blessed with, good and bad.

I hope this answers your question. Jazakallahu khairun for the admiration and dua. Take care.

Wassalaamu alaikum,

– Nadir Keval (www.nadirkeval.com)

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